Thanks for the nice words. No matter what happens, I'll try to maintain an upbeat attitude, because I have a lot of worried friends/relatives and I don't want them to be sad either.
Venting on this forum definitely helps, because the pain inside never really heals, and you never really forget. But you try your best to move on.
I'm in and out of work this week and I'm sure will burst out crying at some stage. I did that a few times today and I don't think I've ever felt so much pain before. It's emotionally draining and my doctor tried to keep me relatively positive.
The positive thinking helps, but you can't fight nature, and you can't fight fate. You can't change destiny no matter what....so from now on I have to take it easy and let fate determine the next steps.