"You Getting So Fat La!"

T

thanka2

Registered User
Well, it's that time again...

In my second pregnancy and nearing the end of my second trimester. Time for the doctors and everyone else to tell me how obese I'm getting.

I'm not even going to try to argue with them. My co-worker almost daily refers to my size and when she's seen older photos of me she always makes sure to comment, "But you were so much thinner back then."

Yeah, I know, I know, I know...

My only argument which falls on deaf ears is that I'm not a Chinese lady who wears a size 3 normally. What do they expect?!

But...in all seriousness, for anyone else out there who was told that they were getting too fat in pregnancy. What did you do? I think I actually do need to change my diet. What types of changes did you make to cut calories and keep things in check? Would love to hear suggestions from other women who have been in a similar situation.

Thanks!
 
How much weight have you actually gained? Is it average for your stage of pregnancy? If yes, just ignore them. I just made sure I had plenty of exercise. I would make sure I stayed active and would go for a brisk stroll most days.

Why do you say you do need to change your diet? If you are eating your normal diet, it should usually be fine. I just had to watch the treats because I was treating myself everyday!
 
What bother you more ? putting weight on or people's comments ?
If it's the weight, then cutting on sugar and oily food would be a good start, but you are pregnant, it's certainely no time to start a diet !
If it's people comments, tell them you'll have plenty of time to lose weight after the birth, and don't give any credit to what people say... there is always lots of people to make comments that no one asked for !
 
For the annoying co-workers, if it is really bothering you then I would probably find something to say to shut them up, like "well yes I have gained lots of weight but my doctor says its all within the normal range for my baby and I (us Caucasions are soooo big). And after I've delivered, would you like to pay for an expensive weight loss programme for me costing $100K??" Getting people to put their money where their mouth is shuts them up I find. Years ago I was a junior exec starting out, paying off university loans and my bosses kept telling me how I should buy a car (because it was the done thing). I finally told them I was paying off uni loans and if they really wanted to they could get me a corporate car which would solve my problems - that worked!!

As for eating healthily, you probably know all the dos and dont's. I relied on a great book, "Nutrition for a Healthy Pregnancy" by Dr Elizabeth Somers for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I walked, swam a lot and did yoga when pregnant. It has taken me almost 2 years to get back to my pre-pregnancy clothes without dieting, post breastfeeding.

I now get tons of unsolicited advice on feeding/raisin/schooling my toddler but normally think of some firm and (near) polite way to shut them up or just duck them.

Good luck and don't let the annoying colleagues/well wishers get you down!!
 
you should be gaining weight! did your doctor say you're gaining too much? I know it's hard, but try to ignore those comments from your colleagues!

When I was pregnant, I would eat basically everything, but I'd get say 6 small meals a day, instead of 3 solid meals. I think that gave me the feeling of always being full and not over eating. I gained 9lbs in total but my baby was 7.4lbs so that worked for me. Also, have lots of fluids too - soups are healthy and won't overload you with too many calories. I was never a dessert fan, so I didn't get any of those, but if you have a sweet tooth, perhaps eating a different type of dessert everyday, instead of say, chocolate cake dailly? Having said that though...if you're craving it then go ahead! Just eat a 1/2 a cake instead of a whole cake in one sitting and eat the rest at another sitting! :)
 
Thanks for the replies ladies.

Yes, the nurse and doctor at the health clinic said I'm gaining too much--basically I'm gaining too fast for their standards. They rattled off something like I should be gaining .1 kilo/week and in the past month I've gained an average of .3 kilos/week. I think that's what they said but they said it really fast.

With my first pregnancy, I started out at about 66 kilos and on the day I gave birth I weighed 104 kilos! So, there is definitely something in me that is alarmed that this is going to happen again. I am not sure about what my starting weight was with this second pregnancy and no one in the beginning thought to weigh me (including me) but I did get down to about 74 kilos after my son was born.

So, I am looking for some advice for anyone who drastically had to modify their diet during pregnancy because of extreme weight gain. In some cases women do have to "go on a diet" (not a crash diet, of course) during pregnancy. In fact, that's what the nurse wrote in my file while I was sitting there, "Needs to go on diet."

I'm thinking that in order to keep things from really getting out of hand fast on me I need to do more than just "everything in moderation." I am concerned about my health. Actually, it hurts when people call you fat--I guess anyone who has ever been called fat by anyone--directly or indirectly--knows this. So, leaving the clinic yesterday I almost had a little cry about that but then I thought to myself, "Well, what am I going to do with this information?" Sure, they didn't present it in the most PC way but facts are facts so I have a choice to make. I really try to not let the constant focus on my weight get me down and for the most part I just think, "I am who I am and there's nothing I can do to change that." This kind of thing is such a non-issue in the country I'm from--I have never experienced the type of obsession other people (who are not even close to me) have with my body type and weight--like it really even matters at all and especially to them?! But, whateva :P

I think I'm in a whole different category than the women who gained under 20 pounds with their pregnancies. Hell, I would love to just gain 20 pounds! Even 30 pounds is permissable but....I gained well...let's see...85 pounds with my last pregnancy (no exaggeration). That would be a dream come true! I'm certainly not eating chocolate cake every day--just not my style.

What is wrong with me?!
 
Here's my 2 cents' worth.

I don't think it's a good idea to start dieting when you are pregnant, regardless of what the doctor or nurse says. The stats they quoted are just that, stats. I remember that my weight gain was not uniform throughout my pregnancy. (I gained 15kg during my pregnancy which was normal for my height/build).

Even if you are gaining more than you should, really just try to eat more fruit & veg 80% of the time and 20% of the time eat whatever you like. If you can fit in a bit of exercise occasionally that will help you and your baby, that is if your doctor says you can exercise. I really do encourage you to get a copy of the book I mentioned because it deals with the issue of weight gain during pregnancy and nutrition issues, and really keeps things in perspective. http://www.elizabethsomer.com/books_nutrition_for_healthy_pregnancy.html

I recall the glossy mags talking about superstars like Catherine Zeta Jones ganing 40kg during pregnancy so you are definitely not a freak. Of course these superstars have a team of nutritionists and trainers to help them shed the weight afterwards, but the point is, using a petite Asian woman's frame as a yardstick is silly and unrealistic, and of course demoralizing. Please do focus on having a healthy pregnancy and baby, then think about losing weight after delivery. Of course your hands will be totally full with a new baby but really just try to shut out the peer pressure til then.
 
I gained EXACTLY 16kgs by the end of both pregnancies. It must have just been the right amount of weight for me. Between about weeks 20-24 there just wasn't enough food in the world to feed me, I was always hungry. All the weight (and a bit extra) came off within about 3 weeks of the birth due to breastfeeding and my extreme tiredness (choosing to rest rather than eat, couldn't be bothered). My extremely skinny girlfriend gained over 30kgs in two pregnancies. I think she just needed it.

85pds is about 40kgs, so you're certainly over the recommended 10-15kgs weight gain. However, if you're eating small amounts of healthy food, your baby might just need a bit extra. Is it fluid gain? That can really put on weight and something that needs to be monitored. Nothing to do with the food you're eating, nothing you're doing wrong.

The nurse of my OB always used to comment on my weight and it really gave me the irrits at the time.
 
"you getting so annoying la!"
Perhaps it's time to give them a lesson in manners, more than anything else.

For my first pregnancy, I gained 18kg total, and heard most doctor visits, "oh, big!". But I was a bit thin to start off with, and never lost my baby weight, but now with the second time around, I'm so far on track. Whew. I'm in my third trimester and and this for me is whe all the sweet cravings come in, and I'm having a hard time saying no.
For western thought, you're supposed to gain about a pound a week from 13 weeks and then something like none or nearly none in the last month, I think that's how it goes. So if you're gaining one third a kilo a week, that actually matches. Although there might have been an outta control month (mine was my 5th month of my last preg), so it could put things all askew.
Here's my thinking for weight control.
1. Exercise
2. Cutting down or out saturated fats and refined sugars.
3. Lots of veg and fruits(for dessert)
4. Portion control
5. Cut out processed foods

Oh, and um, i would actually cut out most Chinese food. White rice, oil, starchy sweet sauces, processed ingredients, fatty meats, etc.
Now if I can only get myself to stick to those principles;)
 
I think Lisa88 has some great advice, putting on weight during pregnancy is a very individual thing and unless you know you are eating drastically more than normal and/or eating lots of processed or fat and sugary food ie your overall diet needs improving than I would not be concerned. Most drs in my home country do not routinely weigh pregnant women now because it often did cause more angst than do anything positive. Having said all that, i know it is very easy to overeat in pregnancy, but only you know if that is the case for you. A drastic diet is defintely not an option during pregnancy from a health point of view, but if you are eating mostly natural foods ie fruit, veg, some protein and grains then any weight gain you have is just normal for you.
 
Worst time in the world to diet!

Locals are funny like that. I've worked with them for 4 years now and I know that I can't change them! They feel the need to comment on everything. If you don't gain enough weight, 'You're too skinny!'. If you're gaining what your body needs, 'You're too fat!' Saying simply, 'You're doing well/fine.', doesn't seem to be part of this culture. So ignore them! Nothing seems to be ever good enough for them. But I do know that they don't say it maliciously. That is just how they are. If they said something bad, I usually reply with a wide smile 'It's horrible isn't it but that's just how the cookie crumble eh' If I disagreed with them or I start looking like I feel terrible about it, I find that I'm opening doors for unwarranted advice/more comments!

As long as it isn't affecting your health e.g. gestational diabetes, I'd say simply go on as you normally would. Being pregnant with all the hormones going crazy is hard enough. Don't drop all the feel good food that makes you feel better - oils and all! Baby needs lots of essential oils/fat to grow healthily. Everything in moderation. As long as you're happy, keep at it!

You manage to drop so much weight after so never mind them!
 
I know I'm not the person you need real advice from, as I didn't put much weight on during my 2 pregnancies, but I weight now less than before my first pregnancy ! I'm just doing a light diet, as I'm breastfeeding.
If you feel like waiting after the birth to get your body back, so just stop thinking about it and enjoy your pregnancy. Pregnancy is just the only time in life when you can put weight on without any regrets !
Also, you could check that you don't have any diabete or thyroide troubles, that could explain your heavy weight gain, if you know you are having a proper diet.
 
I didn't gain lot of weight either during my pregnancy, mainly because I didn't have much appetite or craving. As I really didn't have appetite, I could choose to eat healthy snacks instead of whatever the craving would make me eat. I would have snacks like nuts, yogurt, muesli, fruit, prunes, baby carrots, etc. I really couldn't stand greasy or sweet stuff, so I was probably lucky. In occasions I would have an ice cream after lunch... Funny that my coworkers would see me and say things like "you are pregnant and eating cold stuff??", I would just laugh and say "it is the baby who wants to eat it!"

Anyway, I agree with other that this is not the time for diet. But I guess, if your craving is not too much, probably you can choose snacks that are high in fiber and low in calories?
 
When they said 'diet', did they mean to literally decrease your intake of food to the point where your body needs to burn fat to function properly and you will therefore lose weight (which I think is what everyone means when they are horrified at the idea of going on a diet now), or just to adjust from your current diet? I also gained way too much weight my first pregnancy, and it was an effort to get it down afterward - never really got completely back to where I was. For this pregnancy I realized from reading the books that you really only need a little bit more calorically than you required before you were pregnant - the equivalent of something like a piece of toast and a banana extra a day. So even though I agree that you shouldn't worry too much and focus on your baby, I think YOU might feel better if you take control of things and make sure you are being as healthy as you can for you and the baby. If you feel confident that you are doing that, then any mean comments will probably not bother you so much. (For example, when I gained too much weight the first time, I was eating McDonalds, pesto and cheese pasta at 3am (as an extra snack), desserts after every meal, etc and not exercising. Any comments I got made me feel worse because I knew I was putting on unhealthy weight).

Maybe you can take some of the tips from above and just adjust it so you are making healthier choices generally, (cut out some of the desserts that aren't fruit, fried foods, choose the salad to start, choose the chicken burger no cheese, that type of thing) plus add in some light walking each day beyond what you were doing - just say 15 minutes or something in the afternoon and work up to 30-45 within a couple weeks. Then, even if you are the exact same size or proportionally so given how far along you will be in pregnancy, you will know that you are being healthy, so those people can just #@$*#$ off. :)
 
The reason why I feel bad is because I think I have tried really hard this time around to be careful about what I eat. I am exercising regularly (even more regularly than I was before I found out I was pregnant). I walk a couple of miles every day (I walk to and from work). I'm running around and keeping up with my 3-year-old after work in the evenings.

I'm not consuming more food than I was before I was pregnant (maybe at some times less because my work schedule is busier now) and because of my experience with my first pregnancy I am acutely aware of what I'm eating. But, what I'm doing must not be enough and that's the frustrating part.

As for whatever the nurses and doctors mean by diet--well, it's the HK public system so it's a bit hard to decipher what they mean sometimes.
 
Have you been tested for gestational diabetes yet? I ask because I had gestational diabetes with my second and was probably borderline diabetic with my first. Like you, I wasn't eating any more or differently, but I think the hormones were playing havoc with my insulin levels. The doctor who caught the gestational diabetes put me on a diabetic diet. The amazing thing about it was after gaining nearly 20kg for my first and being on track to exceed that during the 7th month with my second, my weight gain responded to the diet and actually stopped. However, the baby continued to gain weight. With my third, I just went straight on the diabetic diet even though I tested negative twice for gestational diabetes. With occasional "cheating", I gained 13kg.

If you suspect your may have gestational diabetes, please ask them for a glucose test. I just delivered in the public system and they administered the test for me because of my previous history. If you are confirmed not to have gestational diabetes, then it's up to you whether you want to do anything about it. Like someone wrote, it'll all come off when you're breastfeeding anyway. :)
 
yonge said:
Have you been tested for gestational diabetes yet? I ask because I had gestational diabetes with my second and was probably borderline diabetic with my first. Like you, I wasn't eating any more or differently, but I think the hormones were playing havoc with my insulin levels. The doctor who caught the gestational diabetes put me on a diabetic diet. The amazing thing about it was after gaining nearly 20kg for my first and being on track to exceed that during the 7th month with my second, my weight gain responded to the diet and actually stopped. However, the baby continued to gain weight. With my third, I just went straight on the diabetic diet even though I tested negative twice for gestational diabetes. With occasional "cheating", I gained 13kg.

If you suspect your may have gestational diabetes, please ask them for a glucose test. I just delivered in the public system and they administered the test for me because of my previous history. If you are confirmed not to have gestational diabetes, then it's up to you whether you want to do anything about it. Like someone wrote, it'll all come off when you're breastfeeding anyway. :)
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Good tips, yonge. I will have my blood glucose test in a few weeks actually. As far as the weight coming off with breastfeeding--with my son, I breastfed for 6 months and didn't lose any weight because of it...go figure. Would love to believe that BF would be the answer but in my case that's probably wishful thinking. Again, thanks for the tips.
 
Hey Thanka2,
Are you getting this test at the MCHC? I'm 5 wks ahead of you and no one's mentioned it. I'll have my next appt at 32 weeks. I just thought that one of those 2 urine test strips at each visit were monitoring our sugar levels. Geez, waaaay more apathetic for this 2nd pregnancy, haha!
 
Hi Shenzhennifer. I had my at the public hospital. It is called oral glucose tolerance test (OGTT). Don't remember when I had it though... Probably at around week 30.
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Shenzhennifer said:
Hey Thanka2,
Are you getting this test at the MCHC? I'm 5 wks ahead of you and no one's mentioned it. I'll have my next appt at 32 weeks. I just thought that one of those 2 urine test strips at each visit were monitoring our sugar levels. Geez, waaaay more apathetic for this 2nd pregnancy, haha!
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My blood glucose test is booked for January 3rd which will put me right about 30 weeks. I had my blood glucose test done around that time when I was pregnant with my son too. I'm thinking that maybe I should ask the doctor at the next appointment I have on Wednesday if they can move the test up and test me now because I'm thinking that maybe I do need to go on a diabetic diet--it certainly wouldn't hurt me.
 
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