symptoms

Hi MayC, yes I figured that the sleeping tablets were probably the worst option. My mother said that she wouldn't even take aspirin when she was pregnant.

I'm doing okay I am just really down and miserable. I have been on the verge of tears since last Friday. Left work early to come home and then just moped about all weekend. It isn't even as if I am worrying or depressed about whether I am pregnant or not I am just depressed overall. I was reading that there is a very strong link between depression and estrogen and that women are particuarly susceptible when there are large shifts of estrogen levels (e.g. puberty/adolescence, menopause). So I suppose it is not surprising when I am taking estrogen tablets four times a day. I may ask the doctor whether I can reduce them. I don't think I can do another week of this....

MayC, you're first child - was she conceived with the help of fertility treatment or conceived naturally?
 
Hi girls and thank you for your thoughts! I just arrived home from Hong-Kong.
As I writed yesterday to you, my period (regular as a swiss watch) has just come. For 2 days I felt it but I think the progesterone just delayed it a little bit. So, this morning blood test...NEGATIVE of course... + period.
That's it...no comments....
 
Adrianna, sorry to hear your news, I know how you feel now, the disappointment and sadness. But you still have us, and we will support each other throughout this journey!

Have you thought of your next plan? Don't give up, have a good cry if need to, vent it out.

I'm going back for a blood test tomorrow as my period still hasn't come, it's now been a week, and doctor wants to make sure it is not a ectopic pregnancy.......sigh, I just want my AF to come so I can be back on track for my frozen cycle in a month!

Take care everyone!!
 
adrianna

sorry sweetie... i know what we say or do to help you ease the pain maybe a long shot but we are thinking of you and hoping that you will bounce back quickly.
 
Thank you girls! Thank you very much and a big hug.
What's my plan about it? I still have 2 embryos (even if there are not so "perfect", only 5 and 7 cells divided; another one they renounced to it because it was very "slowly" in his development; as they told me...) and I'll do the FET. But not immediately, though I could started today cause it's the second day of my period. I've chosen to wait the next cycle which will be around 1st of May (hope a little bit before because I understood the Sanatorium will have holiday).
As a matter of fact, no one told me anything, no one comforted me or adviced me at all. It's for the first time to see such a perfect rational and cold medical service. In my country usually when somenthing's wrong is THE DOCTOR who want to see the patient and not threw away the people leaving to the nurse the "dirty jobs". I saw one time in a private clinic like this one not only the doctor caring about the couple but also the embryologist! My husband was very sad and said to me that in HK they don't have human touch, or human deontology.
I was a perfect patient, I never disturbed there (not even a phone call)and I did everything right so I supposed that someone cares...In my country the medical service cares about people and I am so proud of this...Unfortunately, being here I cannot do what I have to do back there...
I remembered yesterday the faces of the IVF Center's nurses only because my husband wanted actually to READ the papers for FET before sign them. He said it's difficult to sign blank papers....But....As we say: "You start the party you must dance".
I don't know if next month, on May ( my birthday month) will be more lucky; probably I will be more alone 'cause my husband has a full agenda and he will not be so helpful as he was this time...but I really hope. I don't have another choise and I feel so lonely.... An empty house without children, without no young laugh or someone to make cakes for...
 
You're absolutely right MayC! Having each other is a great moral support and a real help.
I missed yesterday a medical advice, I was standing there like a stupid not knowing what to do: to start again immediately, to wait...Which is better? In that case a doctor should give the options: if you start immediately the body has no time to organize the defense (the natural immunity system to the pregnancy) and maybe can have the pregnancy you want. Or it's better wait and give time to your body to regenerate, but in that case would not be complicate the same?
These are questions which needed not only an opinion, but also a specialist's point of view. Anyway, I feel frustrated and I don't have so much faith in them and so called professionalism only because they know to combine the eggs and sperm in a lab. There is an entire procedure of monitorizing and supporting a pregnancy, of studying the causes of a misscariage. You supposed to know and some causes. I remember a friend of mine telling me that in Europe after a failed IVF the doctor and the embryologist wanted to meet her and trying to explain a possible cause of the problem. This is called a RESPONSABILITY! But that means not only to combine the genetic material and wait to see how they are doing....Just an example: In Italy, in Spain the doctor ask you to do and the cariotype test before IVF + others....When I asked why, they said because they must be prepaired in case of failing to understand the problem and not only to repeat the same procedure as if nothing happened...
So I think here's standards are money standards....
I am very angry and forgive me for this, but I really didn't expect to be treated as someone you just don't need it anymore....
I don't have faith in them, I know, but I really have faith in God and I really hope and pray that He will find the way to us.
MayC I wish you luck and let me know when you have time what do you have to do now for a FET so I can prepare myself and organize my trip and staying in Hong-Kong 'cause I really don't know anything about it.
 
hi adrianna and mayc

firstly - i am sorry of the way you have been treated and how you felt post the negative result. It is very sad but it is true that they is no such thing as " after- service" in the IVF treatment industry in HK. I think doctors here are quite mechanical in that sense.. everything they do is technical and does not really involved the human emotion side of things.

i have great support from the women in the infertility group called COPING here in HK. We talked openly about how we feel, what to do, what to expect, share experiences. Do you have a group like this in Guangzhou? How abt close friends? This forum is also a good avenue for us whom are in this journey.. i know when there are days when i feel so beaten that i will come to this forum to read all the threads. It comforted me that i am not the only in the journey and what i am feeling is real and ok .

i wish you both well and that if you ever need to talk to someone.. please PM me. i will be happy to be a listening ear if that is what you need.

big hugs
 
I know how you both feel. I have so many questions unanswered because I have such a short time to talk with the doctor.

To your point, Adrianna, about the doctor wanting to understand your particular problems and history, that is what upset me so much when I first started this process. I am sure that my first IUI didn't work just because the doctor had forgotten that I had a problem with bleeding too early after ovulation (from 4 or 5 days afterwards) so didn't give me anything which I later found out would have helped...

Then with the first IVF I had been put on the pill to regulate my cycle and I bled for quite a long time. I called the doctor twice because I was worried and he said it was fine. Then when the day came to start the IVF and I said I was still bleeding he told me that 'this was very irregular' and I would have to wait another month! I burst into tears. I had called him TWICE and he had said it was okay. He just said "Oh I didn't realise you had bled for that long" but I had told him. The annoying thing is that he thought I was being over emotional. I wasn't. It was just that I felt that nobody had any control over the situation because the doctor didn't follow my personal issues and every time I went in for an appointment I may as well have been a brand new patient for all he knew. We al have different fertility problems and SURELY these should result in a different approach for different people.

Anyway, a good thing was that when it failed everybody was really sweet. The nurses and the doctor. I had just gone in to hand something to the nurses but he took me in to his room and we talked and he looked at the pictures of my frozen embryos and we decided what to do next. That made a big difference.
 
hi Liquorice

I think its really nice of your doc to talk to you and discuss your next steps. Its good to hear from the professional , their advice and what not.. somewhat comforting.

wish you the best
 
i test tomorow MayC.. dont think they will be checking the heartbeat.. more like checking if the HCG has since tripled. I hope it all goes well..like i said earlier.. i have no symptoms what so ever.. so sometimes i dont know if this pregnancy is real or not. Will just have to go with the flow of things. If its meant to be.. its meant to be.
 
Hi MayC, supposed to do the HPT on Saturday but I have just bought three tests and I will start tomorrow - Thurs, Fri & Sat. I tested early last time and I find that it actually helps as it is a bit of a more gradual let down if it didn't work and it reduces the terrible wait a bit. The doctor admitted to me last time that if I were pregnant the test should have been positive even though it was taken early.

It works for me anyway. I know it is different for other people.
 
hi Liquorice.

you are really brave in using the HPT.. the last few cycles of IVFs and FETs..I must confessed that I used HPT as well but my poor heart could not take it each time.. its like the world is closing in on me and i cant breathe.. its almost like jumping out of the window with faith only in our hands.So.. bravo to you!

How are you feeling today?
 
I'm fine Augustbump. Tired of waiting... Tired of all of it to be honest.

You know I have done the fresh IVF and the FET one after the other and each cycle has taken longer than normal so I have now been taking injections and tablets and been under all of this stress for about 12 weeks non stop - I started on 25th of January.

I think I am at the point that even if this hasn't worked I will just be relieved that it is over and I can take a break for a couple of months.
 
i can understand what you are saying.. it seems like all we do is wait, go the clinic, wait some more, hospital, wait again, wait for results.. i am still waiting..

i hope your wait will be short and sweet

chin up!
 
Best of luck to you both, August and Liquorice!!

Am getting ready for my spa retreat to Bali tomorrow.......:)

Have a nice Easter girls!!!
 
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