how do you handle parents who love to brag?

[carang]

it could be a little bit of both, both mothers feel insecure for their own reasons.

i still think there is a fine line between bragging and speaking to a friend about the children's development. to us, it seems natural to say that "of course all kids develop at their own pace" but to be honest, from my experience over the years with locals, not everyone knows this or maybe i should say, not everyone accepts this.

using my daughter as an example... i don't think i'm an amazing parent because she learned how to talk so early or so well... i think her ability is amazing. i truly find it astonishing. especially when compared to how late her brother was in talking. they each had the same parental influences, the same helper, the same everything (actually my son attended more of my classes when he was very young) but their development has been so different.

i don't think it comes down to my ability as a parent, i think it comes down to her and her personality, and possibly the fact that she came second.

i still think it comes down to the INTENT of the person involved.

otherwise, most of the threads on here would be considered bragging... question: when was your child toilet trained? everyone will have different answers. if my child was toilet trained by 14 months (not the case!) and i said so, would that be bragging? would i be putting others down by mentioning that he was trained by 14 months?
i don't think it would be interpretted that way... again, it is the intent. it is impossible NOT to compare children when questions like this are raised.
(i realise that the current question on the topic is not phrased in the same way, i am just using toilet training as an example)

ps. capital letters are not meant as shouting... merely emphasis.
LOL! This topic could go on for years, as i agree with aussiegal.. consensus will never be met.

 

[fingerscrossed]

Let me tell you it's ten times worse when the in-laws compare grandchildren who are 2mths apart. From day one, they said they wouldn't compare but it's happened too many times to date and THAT'S ANNOYING. I totally believe it's a cultural thing. My poor little boy had to hear his mummy bite her tongue and say 'yes, my little one is on the slow side. he's not as bright as his cousin' when his grandmother was saying what his cousin could say and do etc. for three consecutive weeks every time we Skyped (they're in Australia but still very Shanghainese in character). I felt so bad after saying that but I had to do it to simply shut them up and it worked .

So when other mums sound like they're comparing, I just brush it off, complement their child and say that every child develops at their own pace.