Confinement Nanny (Pui Yuet)? To hire or not? Recommendations

By the way, how much does a pui yuet cost?

My SIL recently got a license for pui yuet. She offered to help me if I need her, since she lives close to me. As relative, I don't think if it would be good to talk about service fee (she may refuse it anyway), but probably if she helps me (provided that I need it) I would like to give her a red pocket for her help.
 
If you're serious about hiring a pui yuet, you really need to start booking them soon since the "good" ones need to be booked way in advance. If you can get recommendations that would be best too since I've had friends who haven't had such good experiences e.g. they think they know EVERYTHING and if you don't follow their way they will be upset with you...the food aspect IS important, especially if you don't have anyone to cook for you since you won't have time yourself. The average cost is anywhere from $15-20K a month and they live with you 24/7.

One thing you want to bear in mind though...is that if you'll be training a new helper, learning yourself and adapting to a pui yuet all at the same time...if your MIL is around then you'll have LOADS opinions and ideas offered to you for free...could be potentially messy if their personalities clash!

Another option you could think is hiring registered nurse that are trained in baby care...they can come whenever you want and the cost is about $1000/8hours if I recall correctly....I had one for a week for the evening shift 10pm-8am so that I could sleep. They teach you things...but unfortunately you don't get the good food. Good luck with what you decide! I'm sure you'll be fine! :)
 
Thanks ladies for all the input! I definitely want to be a hands on mom but as a first time parent I'm just so afraid that I might screw up. The reason that I wanted to hire a pui yuet is so I can have someone there who can teach me about taking care of a newborn since my family won't be around. I believe that my MIL will be around quite often; however, since we come from different culture and background I'm just afraid that there will be clashes just as you have mentioned Leslie. I think a helper is more important for me since I need someone to help me on the house chores. It's definitely great to hear from all the moms! Hope the advice keep coming!
 
I'm not sure if you will be breastfeeding. If so, I would just like to mention that there are some issues relating to the Pui Yuets in terms of breastfeeding.

1) the Pui Yuets are rarely trained in breastfeeding management, so they may give you incorrect advice and generally undermine your confidence.
2) the Pui Yuet sees it as her job to make your life easy - i.e. take the baby away from you, hold the baby a lot, deal with it when it cries (often by giving it a bottle), even sleep with the baby. This practice can have a detrimental affect on the breastfeeding relationship as mother and baby need to be together A LOT in order for the breastfeeding to work out.

From a breastfeeding perspective I would suggest considering getting a domestic helper would will look after YOU. And YOU look after the baby. It is tough to deal with a new baby when you are a first time mum, but by solving your problems yourself, and having a lot of hands on time with the baby, you may learn more quickly and feel empowered.

If you wish to breastfeed your baby please feel free to contact La Leche League at anytime - and ideally BEFORE you have the baby. LLL-HK Home Page

best wishes
Maggie
 
let me tell you something:

you ARE going to screw up! it's part and parcel of being a parent and a human. there is NO WAY you are going to raise your child without ever making a mistake.

if you trust in your instincts, buy a couple of books (i like "what to expect" because they do it as a series of questions), you'll do great!

the hospital will show you how to bathe the child, how to change the nappy, how to feed etc (unless you want to breastfeed, in which case, if you are having trouble, i would hire someone specifically for that). for everything else, your mum/sisters/friends are just a phone call away.

being a parent is a job that only really provides on-the-job training. you are in the same boat as many of us here. (i was exactly in your position, except i'm western and my in-laws are chinese.)
 
I had a pui yuet and I breastfed my child exclusively for the first 6 weeks and then afterwards with only one top up bottle of formula at night after BFing. We started giving the top up bottle not from the pui yuet's advice but on our own decision because we felt it helped our son sleep through fast and indeed by 7 or 8 weeks he was sleeping from midnight to 6am. So I actually don't think that hiring a pui yuet is neccessarily going to be a detriment to your BFing relationship with your baby. It really depends on your will and again, as I mentioned in an earlier post, on the pui yuet that you hire. Hire someone that is flexible, that will dispense advice but will not be angry if you decide against taking their advice. My pui yuet was great - though she sometimes did mention that she felt my son was getting enough to eat, I persisted with the exclusive BFing and she had no problems with my decision.

Also, thought I would mention that though I had a pui yuet, I was as hands on as possible with her help. The pui yuet is only here for one or two months, so it's not like with a pui yuet you can't be a hands on mother because you have the rest of the time after the first to months to be 100% hands on.....

And I agree with Carang....with or without a pui yuet, you will screw up at times - but that's ok. It's part of the learning process.
 
I had a pui yuet for a few months as I had an emergency c-section and it took a while for me to recover. As I was quite adamant on breast-feeding, I separately engaged a lactation consultant. It is true that some pui yuet may not be trained in breast feeding and may not be supportive (such as suggesting/ insisting on feeding baby using a bottle or using formula) but you are her employer, so it's up to you to communicate your wish to her.

For the first 2 weeks, I did nothing else other than trying to get the breast feeding right, getting enough rest and eating well.
 
Being a first time mom may be scary (I know I am). There will always be books on the library, and the nurses at the hospital will also teach you how to take care of the baby. But probably it will not be the same when you are alone on your own at home. You may be really tired and confused, and it is fine to ask for help if you are afraid that you may not be able to handle it.

I think a Pui Yuet is good option, if you don't want to "bother" or "rely" too much on your other relatives or friends. I sometime like the idea of hiring someone, as you can always speak up when she is doing something that you don't like (e.g. try telling you MIL that you don't want her handling the baby too much, and you will be in trouble). The Pui Yuet will not do anything that you don't want, as she would not want to get herself fired. And she will be able to guide you and assist you while you learn how to take care of your baby.

Another option will be to hire a helper with experience taking care of newborn babies.
 
I think there is a difference between hiring a pui yuet and hiring a helper, unless you hire a helper who has tons of RECENT experience taking care of newborns. My helper is great and she takes great care of my 11 month old son. However, when she came to work for me, she was 8 years removed from taking care of a newborn. She has two children herself and took care of children (aged 5 and above) at her previous employer's home. But when it came to taking care of newborns, even she asked my pui yuet for advice and training. Pui yuets work with newborns everyday and therefore have recent experience with it. True once you've taken care of a baby once, you probably won't forget how to do it - but when you are a few years removed from taking care of a newborn (or if you've never taken care of one before), I always found it nice to have a reassuring old hand help out.

Plus, if you're worried about not getting time to take care of the baby when you hire a pui yuet, don't hire a 24 hour one. I hired one who only came from 10-6. While she was around, I got some much needed rest, but I was on duty, along with my husband, from 6pm until 10am the next day and I really got to be as hands on as I wanted.
 
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It is not true that pui yuet doesn't support breastfeeding. You would need to find one that support your believe. Its like finding an obstetrician that is pro naturally delivery instead of c-section. My pui yuet even cooked soup that helped me produce more breastmilk supply! I would recommend her without a second thought.
Our pui yuet was there to burp Baby. changed his diaper. Helped put him to sleep. She helped us coping with the newborn first's month at home. She even helped train our new domestic helper while I got some much needed rest! She didn't do anything we didn't like. After all, we are the employer, I can't understand how some mothers had nightmares as they claimed...
Pui-yuet's job is to look after mother and baby in the first month after delivery. The pui-yuet doesn't necessary need to live in. It's optional. You would need to pay extra if you need her 24hrs a day.
Despite of bad things we heard, I can tell you that our experience was great. Our pui-yuet did provide a lot of benefits to everyone, including my MIL, husby, baby and myself.Having a pui yuet is like having a midwife around.The atmosphere was relaxed as we knew we were under good hands. We ended up hiring her for 3 months. We loved her so much that we gave her a red pocket !
 
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