Confinement Nanny (Pui Yuet)? To hire or not? Recommendations

L

loubiaddict

Registered User
I am thinking whether I should hire a confinement nanny and a maid since I'm a first time mom. The other option is using one of those companies that provides meals and hire a nanny who can help me take care of the baby.

Can anyone recommend a good confinement lady and a maid for Sep? I'm due on Sep 5th and since I'm a first time mom, who would be taking care of the baby all by myself, I'm looking for some help. My husband will be busy with work in China, so he can only fly down once in a while. Also, since I'm not that familiar with Hong Kong I am hoping I can hire someone who knows the environment better. However, I am currently residing in Vancouver and won't be moving to Hong Kong till July. I can make arrangements to meet up with the nanny when I go to Hong Kong for prenatal check-ups. Thanks!
 
brightcindy said:
My Pui Yuet is excellent but do you speak any Cantonese?
Click to expand...

Yup. I'm originally from Hong Kong but just left when I was real young. Language wouldn't be a problem but I'm just hoping I can find someone who knows Hong Kong better than I do. Would you mind giving me the info of your pui yuet Brightcindy? Thanks!
 
personally, i would just go for the helper. i didn't have anyone around to "help" me except my helper, who was charged with cooking and cleaning.

for me, it seemed like a waste of money, first time mummy or not. however, i know that not everyone feels that way.

good luck, whatever you decide to do!
 
I have to agree with Carang. Someone to help with cooking and cleaning and then a couple of good books and maybe a lactation consutlant visit if you need it. And join a mother's group - that's the best way to get to know Hong Kong, and to get advice and reassurance on baby issues. You'll manage better than you think.
 
Thanks Carang and Cesh for the advice!

I was wondering where can I find a good helper? I grew up with nannies from the Philippines and they were great; however, I have also heard of horror stories nowadays. Anyone can give me some info on where to find a helper or would you have one to recommend from July to Oct? Thanks!
 
like anything/anyone, there are great helpers and not great helpers. there are kind, caring, considerate, hard-working, honest helpers and there are spiteful, lazy, dishonest helpers. same holds true for the employers out there.

if you are only here for a few months, you will have a difficult time as the contract is 2 years. it will take a from a few weeks to a few months to sort out the helper's visa as well.

a "good" helper depends on your requirements and your confidence as a new mother. after my first, i was very confident. my "mothering" instinct was strong and i didn't want my helper to be doing things that i could do for my baby. i knew i'd be going back to work shortly after giving birth and i wanted that little bit of time beforehand for myself. however, if you are a "nervous" mother, then you may want someone who "knows the ropes" and can show you things that you might not already know or hadn't thought of.

if i were you, i'd try to interview as many helpers as possible through recommendations of friends/acquaintances. go with your gut and get a good book about having live-in help.
 
I think if you just need help for few months, then a pui yuet would be a good option. Specially if you have no idea about how to take care a baby, or if you have a strong chinese cultural background that you would like to follow.

Also, you will not have to provide her with a place to stay at night (a good thing if you don't want to have a stranger living with you). I think she will also be able to help you with traditional chinese soups, like chinese pork feet in ginger vinegar, if you need to. They are also trained in prenatal and postnatal care.
 
the pork feet in ginger vingegar/// is that GEUNG CHO?

man, it took me ages to convince my mother-in-law that nothing bad was going to happen to me or my baby if i didn't eat that stuff... yuck!
 
Yes, lol! My sister also hated it when my mom made that for her. But here it is also a tradition to gift that to relatives and friends when the baby is born.
 
i REALLY can't stand the stuff. i am not fond of "traditional" chinese food. i try not to make a big deal about it so that i don't influence my kids (half-chinese), but there are times that i have a very difficult time not turning my nose up! LOL!
 
well, I have a philippine helper and have also hired a pui yuet for a month after I gave birth to my first baby. I think a pui yuet is quite helpful, apart from taking care of the baby (since they are usually more experienced than your helper and can help to train up your helper, well, if they get along), they know what kind of soup and food to cook for you after birth. I think there's quite a big difference between western and chinese style here as to what to eat after giving birth. Personally, cause my first baby had jaundice for quite a long time in the first month, I refused to eat any Chinese herbs which are supposed to be good for your body/health after giving birth, but now I feel that I am much weaker than I was before I gave birth. So, this time for my second baby, I have hired another pui yuet to make sure that I will get all the good soup and Chinese herbs, so I think that's a very important reason for having a pui yuet other than a helper.
 
Carang: All my relatives are mostly overseas, so that's why I was wondering if any moms here would know any good live-in nannies.
I know what you mean by can't stand the typical traditional stuff. I'm 100% Chinese but growing up in North America I'm not so sure if I can keep those food down.
Gataloca: I personally am not that persistent about the whole traditions. However, I do have really traditional in-laws and since they live in China they are really concern about the whole "first month" issue.
Gins: Having a Philippine helper and a pui yuet is what my husband wants for me too. However, I would like to hear what are the advice from experienced moms. Thanks!
 
I had a helper and a pui yuet and am really glad I had both. My helper is great, but the last time that she took care of a newborn was 8 years ago when she had her second child. So as a first time mum, it was great to have my pui yuet teaching us me the ropes and helping my helper with a refresher course. Also, my pui yuet, who is a pretty good cook, taught my helper to make a number of Chinese dishes. As for the traditional herbs and other stuff, I didn't really eat a lot of them. I told my pui yuet what I wanted to eat and didn't want to eat and she cooked what I liked! We did make the geung cho (pork feet in ginger vinegar) but we made it mainly to give away to relatives as per Chinese tradition. As for me, I just ate the boiled eggs that were soaked in the vinegar.

I think there is a misconception out there that if you hire a pui yuet, she will make you eat all sorts of weird traditional stuff. She won't - if she's a good one, she will listen to you and cook stuff that you like to eat.
 
I admit that I don't know what a confinement nanny is, but back in the states I got some really good advice from my midwife. She said that many times family wants to come and help with the baby, but actually what you need is someone to do everything else--cook, clean, laundry--so that YOU can take care of the baby and learn how to do it. I think this holds whether it's a helper, a confinement nanny or your mother or mother-in-law! You learn how to take care of the baby by doing it ... all babies are different and no one will know your baby as well as you do. The nurses in the hospital will show you how to diaper and bathe the baby and let you practice, and you can get a lactation consultant to help with feeding. People at Annerley or the Family Zone can help with sleep issues ... I really think it's best to arrange for help--whether a helper or a confinement nanny--with all the other household stuff and plan to get to know your baby yourself.
I'm not saying that you won't need a break now and then, or that you should feel guilty for wanting that break, just saying that you will only gain confidence in your mothering skills by being as hands-on as possible in the early weeks.
 
Haha ... I actually don't mind the GEUNG CHO at all, in fact, I LOVE the eggs!

I'm getting a pui yuet but only because my helper isn't going to be able to help me much at all (that's another story - hopefully her replacement will be better), and I don't want to tire my Mum out too much. I'd like to be as hands on as possible, but since I'm going to be a first-time Mum, I'm just not sure how I'll cope. If you can arrange for help around the house, chances are you probably won't need a pui yuet.

Not that it sounds like it will apply to you, but too many cooks can spoil the broth too - one of my friends decided to go back to work after 3 weeks because she couldn't stand having mum, MIL, helper AND pui yuet around 24/7, all having different opinions haha!
 
ewwwww..... i can't eat an egg to save my life, when you through it in a bunch of ginger vinegar... YUCK!
to be honest, i think it is the look of it more than anything that turns me off!

ps> your friend should have fired the nanny, told the helper to take care of the house work and asked her mum and MIL to go home. there's NO WAY that i would have been "strong-armed" out of being able to take care of my first born!
 
I absolutely agree with FutureHKmom, that a good pui yuet will cater to your needs while trying to get you back in good health. 2 years after the birth of my child and boy do I regret not listening to my confine lady - I can seriously tell that I don't enjoy the same health as I did before my pregnancy. I have a friend who had 2 kids, one time without and one time with a confinement lady and she also said she could tell the difference.

There is a common misconception out there that hiring a pui yuet means you don't take care of the baby - in my case as a first time mother , I find her presence very comforting and I learnt a lot from her. I also was grateful for the spells when I can sleep during the day and forget about other stuff when she took care of them.

I believe that the chinese "wisdom" of the comfinement month did not exist for years without any reason, so sometimes I think its better to be safe. Whether your health is worse after the baby or not, you can't tell straight away, I was told that its often a good many years before it shows - besides, if you find you're so good at it that you don't really need a pui yuet, you can always release her early !
 
I totally agree with Konradsmom. I also want to note about the taking care of the baby part that my pui yuet was only at my house between 10 and 6pm. At all hours outside of that (and on her day off), it was myself and my husband (occasionally with the help of grandmas) who took care of our son. So it was really great that during the day, I could learn from my pui yuet and also get some much needed rest (though I always had problems napping in the day) when needed.
 
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