But you just went ahead and did it???

[Nashua852]

As you know, this is exactly what we did, and a month after the birth of my daughter I have never doubted it one bit.

Both hubby and I are relatively young to be having kids and number 1 was certainly a surprise. We dealt with the shock of not being financially ready for a child when he made his appearance. I mean, hubby was finishing his postgrad teaching qualification in the UK when he received the 'are you sitting down' phonecall from his fiance in Hong Kong a month after his 2 week holiday tells you a lot about how unprepared we were..but we dealt with it. Got jobs, got married, had our little boy and then when he was 12-13 months old decided to let fate take a hand in things and start well not actively trying..more like being 'lazy' =P and we were pregnant very soon after. Kids are 22 months apart and me answering the forum topic at 3am attests to that!

Our reasoning/mindset?:
- We both wanted more than one child and always have and decided in a nutshell that as far as the nappy stage goes, we're doing it once and getting it over and done with. We wanted the kids close together, toys, books and clothes last longer this way ;P and for more obvious reasons of having a playmate etc. My husband and his brother are three years apart. The gap between me and my 2 siblings are 7 years and 9 years respectively. This meant that we all had a lot of growing up to do before we spoke to each other as rational human beings (this is obviously PURELY from personal experience and not always the case) and I craved the closeness that siblings were meant to have as a child.

- Financially speaking my mindset has always been 'give me a bill and I'll deal with it' as far as children go - as parents we will ALWAYS find a way. Everyone on this site worries about the future for their kids - I grew up in HK, I know firsthand how competitive education is, how being in such and such school means that associates even much later in life treat you with some measure of respect. I also know how this place attracts opportunity.

As I said earlier, we weren't planning on having kids by any means when we had number one. I guess Im peaceful in the fact that both me and my husband are hardworking people - we'll be slogging our guts out for the next few years anyway - might as well chuck another kid to the mix. We have good people around us, great family, and lots of joy from our kids. They still manage to have more toys and clothes than they will ever need and as my son is a very happy, confident little man (when he's not trying to throw his bowl of cornflakes into the moses basket.) Personally, I've found plenty of inspiration - plenty of motivation - as worrisome as life gets I remind myself sometimes that its all bred from (as cheesy as this sounds) love. It's that same love that will see us through. This is the life we chose to have. That is all the control I need.

I hated pregnancy the second time round. It was god awful - but you know what, just a month later and its already apparent that life moves on.

I'm utterly exhausted.
These days, the hours are speeding past, lived on in minutes (as far as the BFing goes). The pressure will pile up especially as our son starts kindie next year, but I know we'll make ends meet. I feel like our family is complete (minus future cat) and I feel very strongly that for us, the timing was right. I like knowing what cards I'm playing with, even though its hard and stressful at times dealing with it in one swell swoop suits me and my husband.

You've got our support no matter what you decide. Your little boy is a star and possibly one of the most gentle toddlers I've ever met! Good luck, do what feels right - because ultimately those are the only decisions we can ever stand by. Good Luck.

 

[Suv]

We always wanted to have 2 kids but it took 3 years of considerable efforts/ tears to conceive our first, so we were thrilled just to have one and there was no reason for us to believe that a second would be any easier, if at all. But we have and frankly, I don't feel ready- physically and mentally. I feel frustrated that next academic year I would have had the chance to go full time, but most likely with 2 kids under 2, I cannot. Also, I wish my body had the chance to recover a bit more than 9 months so that I could get back into some kind of shape after the second. Currently, I also have my MIL with me who wants to play with the baby at 4:15am The thought of handling her child like behaviour and 2 of my own, drives me nuts and scared at how exhausting it is going to be. Having said that I think things will be quite rough in the beginning but we will survive and it will be fun for the kids to grow up together and I would be free to pursue my career.

My husband is the only child and so are a number of his friends. Yes, the sense of responsibility and taking care of each other does not come as naturally but I think its how the parents teach their kids to be. He needs to be reminded of things that to me are second nature but that is about it. At the end of the day, my husband is a good guy with excellent values. My sister and I have a 6 year gap. I was conceived very quickly but my parents who wanted to have a 2-3 year gap were unable to conceive for a long time, hence our 6 yr difference. Yes, we weren't that close to begin with- I was god to her and in return I bullied her because I was jealous that she was the baby of the house. But now, the age difference is non existent, she is one of my best friends and my baby sister whom I love taking care of.

I would say if you feel your life is complete with one, thats good. You will be able to give the love, attention and values you want "in any case. Doubts would always be there one way or the other. Question whether to jump from the frying pan into the fire (if that analogy has any resonance) can only be decided by you. And unfortunately we cannot return any of these kids when we are feeling overwhelmed!! Good luck!"

 

[Shenzhennifer]

you wanna wait until you're not tired anymore? LOL! that is NEVER going to happen!

Maybe bc hubbie is now sick and so I have 2 babies to take care of already, hehe.
Yawn...

 

[nicolejoy]

You know, we could reply to this topic all day long, and it would just be OUR experiences. When it comes down to it, YOU'RE the only one who knows what is right for YOU. I know you and I know just how hard your pregnancy and first year were - I have to say, I've never seen it be as hard for anyone else. I know that now, you've got a wonderfully sweet 2 year old and things aren't as crazy any more. Probably part of why it's even a consideration now I guess

I'm completely 100% different to you. First bub was planned but took over 12 months to conceive. Always wanted more than one baby. My one baby was a very good baby (although lately she hasn't been sleeping so good and I'm more sleep deprived now than when she was a newborn!!). After she was born, we decided to just "not try to not conceive" since we wanted them close together and since it took so long the first time. We were ecstatic when we found out when we were expecting when she was only 9 months old, devastated when we lost the bub. I'd love for nothing more than to be pregnant again, hopefully it will be as easy as it was the 2nd time...

So anyways, completely different to you - and I'm not trying to tell you what is best for you, because only you know that. Whatever happens though, I'm here for ya

 

[spockey]

Thank you for responding, Arleneli.
Also, I'm planning to go back and get my master's degree next autumn so yeah, I don't think I can handle husband+toddler+work+study+pregnancy all at the same time.

Husband + Toddler + Full-time work + Study = Can do.
I completed one while I was preggers. And started one when my little man was a little less than 2. But only after i found my groove back... it was HELL on earth being in HK for the first year and a half.

Husband + Toddler + Full time work + Study + Pregnancy = Not impossible with a great support network i reckon.

Personal belief that a woman can do anything they set their minds to (provided they have a supportive environement). Am thinking of starting my Doctorate next year and hopefully fingers crossed include a pregnancy.

I have two close friends doing just the combination you mentioned - living away from home (London & NY) with no DH! One of them was pregnant with 2 kids when she undertook her Masters!

 

[thanka2]

You know, we could reply to this topic all day long, and it would just be OUR experiences. When it comes down to it, YOU'RE the only one who knows what is right for YOU.

Of course, and actually, I wasn't really asking for people to tell me if its right or wrong for me. But, I always find it helpful to hear other peoples' experience and then make comparison--it's really good for me to have a sounding board with other people and well, it's just interesting to gab over this topic. I'm not really looking for answers here--I just like hearing others' stories too.

I'm completely 100% different to you. First bub was planned but took over 12 months to conceive. Always wanted more than one baby. My one baby was a very good baby (although lately she hasn't been sleeping so good and I'm more sleep deprived now than when she was a newborn!!). After she was born, we decided to just "not try to not conceive" since we wanted them close together and since it took so long the first time. We were ecstatic when we found out when we were expecting when she was only 9 months old, devastated when we lost the bub. I'd love for nothing more than to be pregnant again, hopefully it will be as easy as it was the 2nd time...

I also wanted more than one baby--I wanted four! But, yes, you're right, we didn't plan our pregnancy--came off the birth control pill (Thank God! I will never take that "rat poison" again--sorry ladies for those of you who do the pill but it wreaked havoc on my body!) and was pregnant within a cycle. But the weird thing is that prior to going on the pill we had never used contraception and I actually thought we were infertile (and hence was not cautious after coming off the pill) because we didn't get pregnant for the entire 18 months we didn't use contraception. So, actually, I think that the hormonal residue of the pill still in my body may have made getting pregnant easier. (I've never read any studies tracking this but have heard other women say it was easy for them to get pregnant right after the pill). So, who knows, we may have low fertility anyway because as I said, we've nearly been doing the same thing for the past two years and no babies.

But, anyway, after I went through what I went through that was a huge reality check for me. As I was going through it, it seemed awfully unfair to have such a miserable time of things that it pretty much crushed any hopes I had that I could realistically go through that over again. It felt very sad. I can't imagine having really wanted to be pregnant and have another baby and then lose a child, so I feel so heartbroken when I hear that's what happened to you. I really can't imagine.

The whole motherhood scenario made me realize I am not super-human. I thought that pregnancy would be like anything else I've ever gone through--even though it was hard I could just pull myself up by my bootstraps and get through it and be victorious over whatever in the end. Boy, was I wrong!

My first pregnancy and baby could have ended my life and nearly ended my marriage so it was pretty severe all around. But at the time we got pregnant our life was so up in the air that that made it difficult as well. We didn't even have our own house but instead shared a tiny flat and closet-space room (photos attached) with my parents-in-law. No money to speak of as well and although money is not everything it really does affect the stress level of life--studies show that money issues are a major contributor to divorce, actually.

The steps/drawers leading up to our "luxurious" bed of the room we lived in. I like to share this because it seems almost too crazy to be true.

Isn't it spacious? ROFL! Yes, we shared a single bed for 6 months! Good thing my husband is really thin! (but once I got that pregnant belly going on, he had to sleep on the floor on a mat under the desk)


In Retrospect, according to the HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST my stress level for the year while I was pregnant with my son was 292. Contributing factors were: marriage (I had been married 9 months when I fell pregnant); pregnancy; change in financial status; spouse beginning/starting work; finishing school (I had just finished university and was looking for work); change in living conditions (in a period of 9 months I had moved country twice and had just landed in HK); change in residence (went from living by myself to living with my husband to living with in-laws to living with husband to being separated in 9 months) as well as changes in church-going, social activities, family get-togethers (could no longer see my family whom I was really close with) and changes in eating habits (I don't really like Chinese food and was losing a ton of weight when I first got here)-->all that added together comes to a score of around 292. According to the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), 200-299 points is a moderate level of stress. 300+ points is a major life crisis. I was 8 points away from having a nervous breakdown, it seems. If we had had the money to go on vacation or have a stressful Christmas, I don't know what I would've done! Then when I gave birth to my son, that added another 39 points and coupled with the "personal injury/illness" that followed the birth (53 points), brought my total up to a whopping 384 points! --it literally sent me over the edge. So, when I look back I'm like, "Ah ha! That's why I lost my marbles!"

So anyways, completely different to you - and I'm not trying to tell you what is best for you, because only you know that. Whatever happens though, I'm here for ya

Yes, that's the beauty of it all. We're all different. It's just good to have people to sound off of and mull things over with. And at the time when I fell pregnant I really didn't have that support--I didn't even know this site existed until about 8 months after my son was born--and I guess I can credit this site with helping bring back my equilibrium too so thank you, Geobaby.

 

[Obiwan]

I think you are an incredibly strong woman thanka2. Kudos to you!!!!

 

[carang]

wow! i thought I had it bad during pregnancy....i will say, though, that my husband and i argued more during the 4 months i was in the wheelchair than we did in 10 years together!

pregnancy was not easy for me either, so you have my utmost sympathy.

keep in mind though that a few factors have changed since #1...
1) so far as i know, you and your hubby have worked things out
2) he's been working a while now
3) although not a huge income, it is income nonetheless which must take some pressure off
4) you are not living with your in-laws
5) you have a helper to help relieve the mundane, everyday nuisances such as dirty dishes and cleaning the toilet
6) you now have an idea what pregnancy could be like and you may expect it to be similar (it could be much better or it could be worse), but you may be pleasantly surprised. if not, at least it didn't come at you out of left field.
7) you've been settled in hk now for a while, you have a support network of friends around you that you didn't have the first time round. you also don't have the stress of figuring out where everything is while at the same time being pregnant.
8) you and hubby both know what the first few exhausting months can be like and you may be able to come up with some way to combat the exhaustion together (possibly with the help of your helper).

as someone with chronic hyper-tension, i KNOW about stress.... it seems to me, you've made some headway in that area and a second pregnancy may not be as gruelling as the first was.

 

[thanka2]

wow! i thought I had it bad during pregnancy....i will say, though, that my husband and i argued more during the 4 months i was in the wheelchair than we did in 10 years together!

pregnancy was not easy for me either, so you have my utmost sympathy.

keep in mind though that a few factors have changed since #1...
1) so far as i know, you and your hubby have worked things out
2) he's been working a while now
3) although not a huge income, it is income nonetheless which must take some pressure off
4) you are not living with your in-laws
5) you have a helper to help relieve the mundane, everyday nuisances such as dirty dishes and cleaning the toilet
6) you now have an idea what pregnancy could be like and you may expect it to be similar (it could be much better or it could be worse), but you may be pleasantly surprised. if not, at least it didn't come at you out of left field.
7) you've been settled in hk now for a while, you have a support network of friends around you that you didn't have the first time round. you also don't have the stress of figuring out where everything is while at the same time being pregnant.
8) you and hubby both know what the first few exhausting months can be like and you may be able to come up with some way to combat the exhaustion together (possibly with the help of your helper).

as someone with chronic hyper-tension, i KNOW about stress.... it seems to me, you've made some headway in that area and a second pregnancy may not be as gruelling as the first was.

Yes, I agree, it is different now but I honestly think I have post-traumatic stress disorder over a few things that I experienced. So, even though, logically, I know its over, I don't ever, ever, ever want to relive the feelings--physically, mentally, emotionally that I felt for the pregnancy or the first year. Honestly, it feels so bad that some of it, anytime I think about it, I just totally block it out but I can still feel it. Gosh, I guess the line for me must be, "Get thee to a shrink." And actually, I have been in counseling for this as well but, I don't know if those memories ever go away. For the last trimester of my pregnancy (pretty much 6 months pregnant to-the-day) I had panic attacks all night long every night so even going into labor, birth, newborn nights I was at that chronically sleep-deprived stage. It was a combination of feeling chlostrophobic (sp?) inside my own body because I was so huge that I literally felt "cornered" by the baby inside me--it's really weird to describe, but that's how I felt AND having hot flashes--I guess a small percentage of women show over-sensitivity to the higher level of hormones in pregnancy and I was one of them. I seriously tried everything to sleep including eventually medication (which I hated taking). But, yeah, I do believe I experienced what could accurately be called "night terrors." So, even knowing what it could be like makes me never want to do it again--I honestly don't think I could mentally or physically go through it again.

 

[Obiwan]

So, even knowing what it could be like makes me never want to do it again--I honestly don't think I could mentally or physically go through it again.

This is said with the kindest intention ... I think you might not be ready at this juncture ... that doesn't mean you won't be in the future, maybe just not now? Happy mother = Happy toddler/baby. Sometimes it is important to make sure that we are happy first ....

Again, it doesn't mean that you won't feel that you want a second baby some time soon ...

 

[carang]

thanka, you have answered your own quesion, it seems to me.

maybe, if you really want to expand your family and you can't face another pregnancy, you should consider adoption.

my feelings regarding my pregnancies:

i don't want to put my family through that again. i felt like 1/2 a mother the second time as i was so restricted in the wheelchair. i couldn't hold my 2nd for over 24 hours, so it took me a lot longer to bond with her. (i had general anesthesia and couldn't get upstairs in the wheelchair by myself, i had to wait for my husband to be able to wheel me up!)
BUT
i would do it all again in a heartbeat, if hubby agreed to #3...

as you see, even though i had two traumatic births & pregnancies, for me, the end totally outweighed the means. i have no doubt whatsoever that you love your son with all your heart, but it seems that that is still overshadowed by what you went through to have him. unless you can come out from under the shadow of the pregnancy and release those fears/emotions that are wrapped up in your first horrid experience, you will never be in a "good" place and truly want a second child.

ps> after my first, i thought there was no way i'd do it again. the epidural didn't take properly and i FELT my c-section... only way to describe it: they were trying to touch my bellybutton to the 30' ceiling. NOT nice!

 

[carang]

just to clarify: i couldn't hold my 2nd after she was born for over 24 hours.

 

[thanka2]

thanka, you have answered your own quesion, it seems to me.

maybe, if you really want to expand your family and you can't face another pregnancy, you should consider adoption.

my feelings regarding my pregnancies:

i don't want to put my family through that again. i felt like 1/2 a mother the second time as i was so restricted in the wheelchair. i couldn't hold my 2nd for over 24 hours, so it took me a lot longer to bond with her. (i had general anesthesia and couldn't get upstairs in the wheelchair by myself, i had to wait for my husband to be able to wheel me up!)
BUT
i would do it all again in a heartbeat, if hubby agreed to #3...

as you see, even though i had two traumatic births & pregnancies, for me, the end totally outweighed the means. i have no doubt whatsoever that you love your son with all your heart, but it seems that that is still overshadowed by what you went through to have him. unless you can come out from under the shadow of the pregnancy and release those fears/emotions that are wrapped up in your first horrid experience, you will never be in a "good" place and truly want a second child.

ps> after my first, i thought there was no way i'd do it again. the epidural didn't take properly and i FELT my c-section... only way to describe it: they were trying to touch my bellybutton to the 30' ceiling. NOT nice!

I think where I'm at with a second pregnancy is that I do want another baby but the territory we now enter, it goes beyond logic (actually, defies logic)--it's the realm of instinct or reaction, I think. If I logically think through everything--I mean even considering what I went through and then considering where I'm at now, I think, "I could get through it" but why then is my entire body rigid and tense? It's because of the subconscious reaction to it. It was explained to me this way--what happens in the first 24-48 hours after a major injury or life-threatening experience (almost losing your life in childbirth) is really crucial--so, if you experience something horrific physically it's really important how you are cared for during that time--I think something went awry at this juncture. I'm still not sure what. And I guess you're right, I'm just not in the place to have another baby which is unfortunate because for me, it really is either now (or within the coming months) or never.

 

[spockey]

Thanka
(Published this after yours as the computer was sitting idly and did not refresh)

I'm just going to add to Cara's observation.

I've been through my own HELL and have come back. Ante-natal and post-natal depression plus dealing with a trauma from teenage years that returned triggered by the birth of my child. These days, I think that I live a picture perfect life although we are such imperfect folks. When things are better, there is a need to stop and smell the roses and simply enjoy the better cirsumstances.

Why not enjoy the situation as is now, pursue your own needs for now then decide? If undertaking a Masters degree is important for your career, why not start that first then decide? If simply chilling and enjoying the moment for what it has to offer now, why don't you do that too then?

I've always wanted a second but didn't dare pursue it until I got my groove back. I was afraid that the person I was when I went through HELL was the real me. I've learnt to forgive and accept that it was just REALLY STRESSED and STRECHED ME.

Studying (Research) gave me my groove back. It is what I'm good at and what I love. Since I got my groove back, I know for sure now that I want a second one if the bigger person out there answers my prayers. Finding friends in a foreign contry with no family who love you unconditionally helped too.

From the sounds of it, you are a very strong woman. Whatever life has to throw at you, from your experiences, I'm sure you are better prepared and will cope.

 

[thanka2]

I think you are an incredibly strong woman thanka2. Kudos to you!!!!

Thanks, Obiwan...after I gave birth the midwife said to me, "Now you can officially do anything...from now on you will feel so strong in your life when it comes to pain."

 

[Obiwan]

It is indeed very interesting (and encouraging) how the human body and spirit is able to survive a large amount of pain and challenges. We have all been through difficult times in some form or another, and to different intensity, and i believe it is through these we grow and become stronger ... and it is also these experiences that I often go back to whenever I need assurances that I can get through another difficult moment. After all, we are survivors aren't we ... and this too shall pass

I think you are an incredible woman, and whatever you decide to do, I know you will do your best and find peace in your decision. I have learnt that sometimes that is no right answer, and we just don't know what the 'right' thing is, but as long as we have given it measured thoughts, and are at peace with our decision, we can and will be happy.

 

[thanka2]

In Conclusion....

Thanks ladies for your discussion on this topic. I picked up a useful book at the library this week: "Coping Successfully with Your Second Child" by Fiona Marshall It was published in 1992 and as far as I can tell from web searches probably isn't extremely popular but the author makes some really good points.

She is writing to an audience that may include people all along the way to having a second child (thinking about it, planning it, pregnant, after the child is born). A few things that really made sense so far when it comes to thinking about having a second child is:

Time Gap: That it is generally more difficult for both parents and older siblings to adjust to a new family member the more time that goes by. My mother also brought out the point from the "Birth Order Book" which is kind of a standard book for talking about birth order that if you have two children that are 5 or more years apart in age, essentially you are raising two first-born children as far as the social makeup of the family goes. Also, it can be a really rough/rude awakening for parents who get beyond the newborn and baby stage and be away from it for a few years and then be thrown back into the high demands of taking care of a newborn.

Letting Go of Babyhood: When you have a second child you are doing two things--you're essentially letting go of your first child's babyhood and secondly you are saying to yourself, the world and your first child that one child is not enough for your family and therefore your first child ceases to be the center of attention all the time. But, this is healthy and natural because no one in this life is ever the center of attention all the time--it's a growing up step.

The author also brings out practical things about when is the right time to have a second child--things to consider. Considering that the physical strain of pregnancy while dealing with a small toddler can be rough. But she also suggests tips and writes that widening your child's social circle (more time with grandparents, nursery school, playgroups etc.) takes the pressure off of mom and can be a healthy social network to help the first child adjust to a sibling once the sibling arrives.

I was just telling my close friend that as my son is about to turn 2-years-old, having a second child is becoming more feasible. It seems like a more appropriate time as he will soon start nursery school and then kindergarten next year (widening that social circle and also letting go of babyhood). He is potty training and can pick up his toys and help around the house, feed himself, help get himself dressed and communicate what he needs and wants. In essence, the natural progression of things is that he IS growing up and that's why it may be fitting to have another child.

If I were to fall pregnant within the next 6 months, then the space between my children would be around 3-3.5 years which I honestly think is best.

So, at the same time, I am taking hold of the destiny of my life in some way as I know in order to have a happy, healthy pregnancy and childbirth I need to be the healthiest I can be. So, I think I must keep on with my goals for the next 6 months--losing weight, getting in shape, getting good nutrition in my body and getting mentally and emotionally more healthy. I've already committed to these goals and little by little am getting there. But, as I've heard it said before, if you wait until everything is perfect before you have children, you'll never have children. So, I'm going to give myself 6 months and then start TTC.

That's another aspect that the author brings out too...

Conception Time: Even if we were to start TTC this very day, there is no guarantee that I would fall pregnant within weeks or even months. That is never guaranteed. So, yeah...it's better to start earlier than later. And time waits for no man...er...woman!

But, overall the author is writing to an audience that is without help inside the home--meaning she writes to women assuming they don't have domestic helpers.

I've also come to the realization that two years from now we may not even be living in Hong Kong. When our rental agreement is up in two years we may move out of HK. And there are advantages to being in HK with a newborn baby--the availability of helpers--the relatively low cost of medical care. So, this may be the time. I'll let you know next April!

Thanks for reading this ramble, whoever made it this far!

 

[Obiwan]

All the best thanka2!! You are going to be an awesome mom.

Since your first pregnancy was difficult, there is a very high probability that your second will be easy!! Good Karma to you, you'll have a easy pregnancy, smooth delivery and a chilled and happy baby

 

[carang]

obiwan, it is very nice of you to say that the next one will probably be easy, but as someone who suffers terribly during pregnancy, i would not get thanka's hopes up.

it is possible, but not necessarily probable.

i, too, hope that the second go-round is easier for you. i wish you the pregnancy that a friend of mine had... hiking with her dog up until the day before labour...

 

[thanka2]

obiwan, it is very nice of you to say that the next one will probably be easy, but as someone who suffers terribly during pregnancy, i would not get thanka's hopes up.

it is possible, but not necessarily probable.

i, too, hope that the second go-round is easier for you. i wish you the pregnancy that a friend of mine had... hiking with her dog up until the day before labour...

Don't worry about getting my hopes up as I am more than realistic (pessimistic?) about what will happen the second time around. I have no expectation that it will be easier but I do feel more confident armed with experience and knowledge (mostly about myself) this time.

But, at least now I know what I'm NOT going to do this time around as far as lifestyle choices go. I know what my limits are. So, maybe if I go into labor, I won't be trekking around the city buying supplies and making a birthday cake (yes, I did this in the first 16 hours of my labor). I mean, at the time, I did that because I had been trained to keep myself occupied in early labor so you don't waste energy worrying or thinking--so I stayed occupied. I also won't stress over breastfeeding. If it's horrible for the first 8 weeks, I'm just going to let it go. There really was no point in making myself suffer for 5 months and then feeling guilty for not breastfeeding afterward. Absolutely senseless.

I also know what IWILL DO this time around. I will definitely fill my freezer with ready-to-eat meals so I don't even have to think about food when it comes to baby time. I will also definitely have help around (helper) to do things for me so I can really just lay in bed and rest and focus on recovering. Also, I would eat in early labor. The only food I had during the 43 hours I was in labor was a taco and that was actually the meal from the night before I went into labor. Pretty much I didn't eat for 2-3 days and I ran out of steam because of that. By the time my son was born I was almost going into shock--my body temperature was pretty cool and I was shivering because I had just expended so much energy and my muscles all over were also going through spasm. So, I would rest and eat.

Seems pretty simple but just these few changes could make a huge difference in how I cope with another pregnancy and baby. Also, the fact that I don't hate Hong Kong as much as I did when I was first pregnant might help too.