BF in Nursing Room - bad experience

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peainpod

Registered User
Jusco in Taikooshing recently renovated their nursing room so that it's now a curtained-off room with two longish sofas allowing more than one mom to bf at a time. This is a great idea except that when i was there this weekend, there were two fathers in there as well, mixing the bottles of formula while the moms were sitting down with their babies. They did leave after i said that i needed to bf, but then afterwards, i had to sit in close quarters with their wives who gave me dirty looks the entire time i was nursing bubs!

Has this happened to anyone else? It left me feeling kind of frustrated afterwards, and wondering if I should just not bother with nursing rooms - which are relatively uncommon in HK and hard enough to find as it is - and use a nursing canopy with bubs somewhere public instead.
 
I experienced something similiar at the nursing room in Times Square. I rushed in to the room to find a father feeding formula to his toddler. I made a comment that I need to use the room for breastfeeding to which he calmly replied.. I'm sorry but I am still feeding my daughter. The toddler was drinking really slowly and after 10 minutes I got really frustrated (and bubs was crying) so I just sat next to him and took out my boobs. He was very embarrased but still did not leave. I half wished his wife would walk in on us so I can see her reaction. These people are so inconsiderate!
 
Oh my, how rude! I guess they wanted a quiet place to feed their babies formula, which is so inconsiderate to nursing mothers! I haven't had any such experiences, but I find that a lot of nursing rooms in malls are also diaper changing rooms, which can sometimes be quite smelly!
 
Are these "parent" rooms are "mother" rooms you are all referring to? Sorry I don't see why someone who is feeding their child should have to leave because you don't feel comfortable feeding in front of them. Isn't that just inconsiderate of you to expect that they should leave? Their children are hungry too. Surely the problem is that wherever you are hasn't provided a private room for people who are embarrassed to feed in front of other people. You should definitely take it up with centre management of the mall.
 
i agree.
why are you embarrassed to bf in public? it's not like you're standing on the table at mcdonald's doing a striptease, for goodness sake! you are simply providing nourishment to your child, just as the father was doing for his child.

it is a natural process to breastfeed and so long as women are embarrassed by it, how do you expect others to feel?

if others are embarrassed, that's their problem, NOT yours.

go ahead and feed your child, where-ever, when-ever you need!!!

i didn't even bother with one of those canopies as it only draws attention to what you are doing. if you wear a button up top, you can just undo what you need and do it anywhere...
i even did it sitting on a bench in the middle of maritime square in tsing yi. i don't think anyone realised what i was doing as i didn't advertise the fact.

take pride in the fact that you are bf and don't hide away and expect others to retreat just because you are doing it!
 
I should clarify that the nursing room in Taikooshing is intended for breastfeeding purposes. In fact, there is a sign outside that says "males are strictly prohibited from entering". So yes, I guess in this case, from a "management" perspective, nursing moms do have priority to use the room.
 
Nursing rooms are too few and far between for me to bother. I nurse wherever I am. I too don't bother with a cover, baby just pulls it off and it's too hot anyway. Nobody can see what you're doing, I've found that the baby's body actually blocks everything. I've nursed all over HK and once you do it that first time, and swallow up the fear that everyone is staring, it's pretty easy.
 
I have to say that I also never bothered with nursing rooms when b/f my son in HK....I fed wherever and whenever he needed feeding. There is always a starbucks or pacific coffee close enough to wherever you happen to me.

Once in desperation I b/f my son on the MTR....it was the Tung Chung line so quiet compared to the rest of the MTR.

I didn't find that many people stared...in fact most of the time I b/f my son in public few people seemed to notice, and if they did and felt uncomfortable well that unfortunetly is their problem.
I did find giggling local teenagers annoying....but looking back it is probably the first time they had ever seen a baby b/f (sad but true)! I soon got over them too.

Personally I think if a room is called a 'nursing rm,' well then nursing mothers should have priority....I agree that people shouldn't be uncomfortable with b/f in public but people undoubtedly are and if nursing rms encourage more women to b/f then so b it.

Not sure why a toddler needs to be fed formula in a a nursing rm.
 
Well that's a bit different then if there was a sign on the door, I would have been taken aback a little too.

However, I agree with Koan that once you just get over b/f in public, its no big deal. I don't think there is anywhere I haven't fed...I've fed walking around malls,in cabs, on trains...just about anywhere either of my girls got hungry...lol...i find those covers really annoying, they just get in the way I think.
 
mumto2 and carang. It does say BREASTFEEDING ROOM on the door. Why would I otherwise expect the Dad to leave the room. I have tried breastfeeding in public but prefers to do it in a breastfeeding room when there is one available. I hope that's ok.
 
you didn't say that the sign said "breastfeeding room"

of course it's ok, but bear in mind that they are trying to do the best by their children too and if the child was already in the middle of a bottle, what did you expect them to do? pull the bottle out of the mouth and pack up everything with a screaming, hungry child and then traipse around the shopping centre looking for a place to sit to feed their child? just as you don't expect your child to wait for food, neither should they.

come on guys, a little perspective here....
 
Hey Cara - this topic is about "BF in Nursing Room - bad experience" and I am just giving mine.

You obviously do not realise this but some of your comments are quite uncalled for:-
1) Why are you embarrassed to bf in public? it's not like you're standing on the table at mcdonald's doing a striptease, for goodness sake!

I am not 'embarrased' to bf in public but I really prefer to do it in a nursing room when there is one available, striptease or not.

2) What did you expect them to do? pull the bottle out of the mouth and pack up everything with a screaming, hungry child and then traipse around the shopping centre looking for a place to sit to feed their child?

There are lots he could have done. Perhaps call the mum (yes she was outside shopping) so she can do the feeding and I can breastfeed in the same room? Or leave and bottlefeed in one of these big fat armchairs located just outside the nursing room? And I am quite sure his kid will not scream - she was barely eating otherwise they will be out in the room in no time.

I do appreciate that he is doing what he think is best for his child i.e. feeding her in a quiet room and that would all be okay if no one else is waiting to use the room for its intended purpose. You were not even there to understand the situation so what perspective are you talking about.
 
i am merely commenting on what you wrote.

you didn't say that the mother was there.
you didn't say that it was a BREASTFEEDING ROOM (in your initial post... it says nursing room, to me that means feeding room ... sorry if i misunderstood)
you also didn't say that there were any 'big fat armchairs' directly outside...

i stick by my post, but i'm sorry if you took offense. it wasn't meant to cause any.

i am not a BF "nazi" but i truly don't see the big deal. i, too, have used the nursing rooms on occasion, but more because it was a place to sit down without having to buy a $30 cup of coffee. i have also had my husband come in to give me a hand, when i had the two children with me.

i'm sorry, but i think that it's making a mountain out of a molehill.
there are so many other things in this world to be upset about, a father helping his wife or feeding his child should be commended not denegrated.

if you have a problem with the nursing rooms, take it up with the management. (if it had a big sign that said NO MEN ALLOWED as peainpod said, yes, i too, might have said something, but otherwise, not)
 
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I am not denigrating a dad helping out his wife - you are totally off the point (or topic)..... arrrrgh.... whatever.
Have a good evening.
 
My personal view - no baby rooms should be just for b/f, there should be quiet areas for any form of feeding (those little ones get distracted very easily!). Also, ignoring what the sign said, I don't think you should have asked the fathers to leave. They are parents attending to their babies too !

I breastfed my children in Hong Kong for 11 and 8 months, so I do know what it is like being out and about. If you are really uncomfortable with a man being present, just use a light muslin wrap to protect your modesty. I don't think breastfeeding deserves absolute privacy or female only privileges.

What are you going to do when you have to feed without a baby room? Eg. on an aeroplane?
 
hear hear cara...WAY too many other things in the world to get upset about...

I agree Jane, they should ALL be "parent" rooms...and being able to feed your child is an absolute gift that should not be hidden away...everyone feed in public, show it off, be proud...lol...
 
bekyboo44 said:
...I didn't find that many people stared...in fact most of the time I b/f my son in public few people seemed to notice, and if they did and felt uncomfortable well that unfortunetly is their problem.
I did find giggling local teenagers annoying....but looking back it is probably the first time they had ever seen a baby b/f (sad but true)! I soon got over them too.
Click to expand...

ITA. Few people notice, and if they do, people in general try very hard NOT to look at you. In my experience, the only ones who stare are little kids who are obviously confused having never seen b/f before.

To the OP, if it was a nursing room where men are prohibited, I'd take it up with the management.
 
As a baby, my daughter always needed a quiet place to feed, her reflux made her all agitated and it was nice to have a few quiet rooms around where we could feed her, or it would have otherwise meant we didn't go out during her feed times. A lot of times this was done by my husband so that I could get a break and just walk around a mall.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is fantastic that both mums and dads can use these rooms, there are cases where parents and kids need a quiet place irrespective if they are bottle fed or breastfed. And if dad is willing to give the mum time out - I think we should respect that rather than prefer if he called her back to feed the baby
 
While I personally don't mind breastfeeding in public (and still do with my 10-mth-old), some people are more shy or conservative or modest or less confident. The OP is obviously in one of those categories. There's nothing wrong with that - everyone is different. And let's face facts, with certain babies at certain ages, it IS difficult to feed discreetly - lots of bobbing on and off and exposing a nipple when babies are around 3-4mths, or with a newborn, mum often has to wave the nipple around to try to get little one to latch on.

What I'm trying to say is please give the OP a break - she didn't create this thread to be made to feel silly for wanting to feed her baby without men around. She wanted a bit of sympathy - and as a supportive community, we should give her that - not lecture her on the rights and wrongs of breastfeeding rooms versus bottle-feeding rooms, or mums' rooms versus parents' rooms.

Good luck to all - however you feed your little ones - in finding a nice spot in HK to do that! :gl:

Live and let live, and big hugs to all!!! :grouphug:
 
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