BF in Nursing Room - bad experience

Wow, I started the post, it was just to vent some frustration I felt at the time, I certainly didn't mean for it to turn into this emotional debate. Sorry if my OP offended anyone, it wasn't meant to.

Thanks Cool-gaga for sharing your experience - I appreciated hearing about it and sorry if you felt attacked afterwards.

To carang/jane/mum2b, I realize that many bfing moms think canopies are a waste of time. It's just that for a NEW mom, there's a bit of a learning curve in adjusting to the whole bfing routine, and part of it is getting comfortable enough with your own body and the feeding routine to do it in public without needing a cover. I think it's a personal choice and one that should not require defending.

I have nothing against parents bottle-feeding their babies and understand that it is convenient to do so in a quiet room. However, it is Bfing Room (and not a Parent Room) so I feel that if there are bfing moms around, then expecting the dads to retreat (when there is a sign saying men are prohibited from entering) is not unreasonable. And certainly having the remaining moms glare at you while you feed your own baby is not the most comfortable of experiences. That is ALL I am saying.
 
Last edited:
"it is Bfing Room (and not a Parent Room) so I feel that if there are bfing moms around, then expecting the dads to retreat (when there is a sign saying men are prohibited from entering) is not unreasonable"

i AGREE with you!

i'm sorry if you felt under attack, it wasn't meant that way.... it was meant to try to bolster your self-confidence!
 
Peainpod, I would have felt really frustrated in your shoes. I'm still bf my 9 month old baby, whom now hates bf canopy. I will greatly appreciate other mommies(and/daddies) being more understanding that not everyone is comfortable to bf in public despite being proud of it. And YES, i ithink bfing mom should have the privilege of using the bfing room.
 
My ideal situation is to have a 'parents' room, where involved and caring Dads can also feed and change their babies without feeling like perverts or intruders. BUT to also have separated breastfeeding booths or curtained cubicles within this room for those women who feel like they would like more privacy. The Disneyland baby care room is the only place I know of in HK that is like this.

I detest breastfeeding in public, even in front of close friends unless they are also breastfeeding mothers. I feel very uncomfortable about potentially showing off part of my body that is normally kept modestly covered for a reason. I also hate strangers looking at me when feeding, even just out of curiosity. I would much rather relax on my own and be able to get comfortable, and have my baby feel peaceful rather than struggle to conceal everything.

Like someone else said, everyone is different. It's great that some mothers feel completely ok about whipping it out and doing what's natural, while glaring at anyone who dares to tell them off. But try to understand that other women feel self-conscious about an act which is sometimes quite difficult and new and would rather have the choice to do it away from the presence of others, especially men who might be uncomfortable with it.

Jane's suggestion of a muslin wrap is what I did when I was not able to go somewhere private to feed my baby.
 
I bf in public and don't have a problem but I do feel bad about others being obviously uncomfortable. I know folks say they hate the nursing covers and I did too until I got this one: http://www.bebeaulait.com/ - it's fantastic as it has a bowed top so you can see down to your baby and it prevents them from getting so hot as air circulates through. and for the most part they can't pull it off b/c there is a loop that goes over your neck (when they are older - around 7-8 months they can pull it up but still they can't get it off). It's a tad pricey but I've used this all over the place and I love it so and think it's worth it so if you're looking for something give this a try. No idea if they have them here in HK as I got mine in the US but maybe an internet site will ship to you.
 
Hey those are really nice. I also saw some great nursing covers in a Japanese baby mag that a friend brought over from Tokyo but I've never seen any in Hong Kong. (The one I currently use is from B2B but it's just plain flannel and kinda floppy).

Bebe au lait site says that it does int'l shipping but there's an extra US$21 surcharge - which seems rather pricey for a $35 product.
 
yeah - that is ridiculous. I searched and apparently a store in macau careries them - maybe thy'll ship over to HK for much less. I really like mine and I've given many as presents and all the woman I give them to love them as well.
 
I've emailed the Macao store (Doubibou, right?) and am waiting for them to get back to me. If it's not too much, I may splurge and buy one! (I'm starting to use the nursing cover less now, so it'll be kind of an indulgent purchase - but what the heck, I deserve something nice for all those sleepless nights from breastfeeding!)
 
i just suggested a curtained room to a friend of mine yesterday after discussing this thread. she is a bf new mum and has a hard time doing it in public too....
 
Yes, curtained rooms/private booths often work better than "communal bf rooms" b/c your husband can be in there with you (assuming there's enough space for both of you.) In an emergency, the fitting rooms of some of the bigger stores could also be an option. (Some are quite roomy - and even come equipped with small sofas!)

I guess we are all learning as we go along. After this thread, I'm going to stop using a nursing cover in public when I can do it discreetly.
 
Last edited:
I have to say that all this discussion about breastfeeding in public has inspired me. I have been pretty comfortable doing it in the easy places like coffee shops but not much beyond that and usually with the Bebeaulait cover. I am slowly realizing people really don't even notice if you do it casually - even without a cover. I am impressed with Mumto2 for having bf in taxis and on the MTR! I live on an outlying island so am getting good at nursing on the ferry, even without a cover but will have to try the MTR!

I am all for the idea of parenting rooms so a husband can be there and rooms with curtained areas for those uncomfortable in front of others. I get so annoyed with the nursing rooms that just feel like renamed bathrooms that I don't bother with them. (Although some of the hotels have great bathrooms for nursing! Like the Shangri La and the Mandarin)
 
What I like most about curtained rooms is if they have a BIG COMFY chair in there and I can relax because I've probably been shopping...lol...

Gosh I'm sorry you felt put out peainpod...that was not my intention AT ALL. I know that some women get a bit embarrassed etc about whipping it out in public but I certainly didn't mean to make those mums not feel validated...I just wanted to share my experiences that once you do, you will notice that not many people really pay any attention.

cyberfish, me feeding everywhere was more about the fact that "baby hungry, have boobs"...lol...it just didn't occur to me for more than just the briefest moment that this might be uncomfortable or embarrassing...have to feed child...was very primitive and cavewoman-like with first bubs...lol...

If people look at me questioningly or like I'm doing something wrong, I just tell them that we're too poor to afford formula...lol
 
Hi all, we're all in the Motherhood, just let us have more understanding on other's need and more caring, life would be easier in this way. So Peainpod , don't got put off by anyone, keep going to bf your baby , you're giving the best u can.Cheers.
 
oops forgot what i was meant to say in my last post too was sometimes what i do when feeding in front of lots of people is say you're feeding from your right breast, then I put my left hand over my breast, it pretty much covers the whole thing and bubs has got the nipple in her mouth...might help someone?
 
Tagging on to may's post, I have to add that strangely enough, the tolerance for the exposure of breasts/nipples are high when its a Caucasian doing it (BF) in public. Locals simply wave it off as an expat things, but boy or boy if its a local woman doing it uncovered!! (altho I'm not local, I'm a Chinese looking woman from Singapore). I have got scolded even when I nursed WITH my nursing cover on!! Scolded for "doing such shameless thing" in public the minute they realised that I'm nursng beneath the cover. Same theory if a Caucasian go braless in a tank top vs a local woman doing the same? Guess who will get chided? Its like being an Asian, we are SUPPOSED to KNOW our culture and limitation! I certainly dont agree BUT tat wont stop these people from scolding us and having their bias opinions known out loud! What can I say. Sometimes I get angry and retort back but sometmes I jus can't be bothered. Its an unfair world. Having said tat, I use a cover becos altho I am proud of breastfeeding, I am also uneasy exposing myself, becos now that my gal is older, she always struggles and wriggle around a lot, and if I don't use one I'm always ended up with a naked breast left hanging. LOL!
 
I'm always being told that the Hong Kong culture is one of not breastfeeding in public. But I'd like to remind you all that the customs in a culture are transient and are always changing. 50 years ago it was common to see babies being breastfeed in public in Hong Kong. My mother-in-law was a hawker selling fruit in Happy Valley and she breastfeed all six of her babies while selling fruit. It was the normal practice then.

And although breastfeeding in public is uncommon in today's society I urge everyone who feels comfortable (with or without a cover) to breastfeed in public. It is only by doing so that we will change the customs back to being more breastfeeding friendly.

When I was shy about breastfeeding in public one thought that urged me on was the thought of changing the society so that my daughter would find breastfeeding in public comfortable - I think it is important to see this as a long term goal - because attitudes are unlike to change quickly but if we work together they will change.

SARAH
 
Sarah
I dunno about HK but in malaysia (where my mom is from) and Singapore as well, 50yrs ago most mothers breastfed their babies not becos they know of the benefits of BM, but most do it out of poverty cos back then a can of formula milk is VERY expensive and not affordable to some, thus they will resort back to bf and the tendencies for having tots that only the rich can afford to buy top of the line formulas from that generation of mothers. I hv a lot of friends in Sg complaining that their mother in law and even their own mothers kept pressurizing them to feed baby FM simply becos they think its expensive = good. In general, older Asian women still think that if u can afford to buy good FM, why bf? Thus the frown on exposing urself in public. Of cos there are the ones who keep up and are aware of the good benefits of BM and not adverse to it. But still some still think BF mothers shud do this in private than in public. I agree totally we shud be working towards changing this mentality!! :)
 
What you've said confirms my message - attitudes are changing but it is taking time.

20 years ago most of the grandmothers had breastfed and now most didn't.

50 years ago the poor breastfed and the rich didn't. Now, however, it is the rich (well educated) that are breastfeeding and the poor who aren't.

Think how this will change the attitudes towards breastfeeding in the next 20 years.

I wouldn't want to ask anyone to do something that they are embarrassed to do but if you feel comfortable then breastfeeding in public is not just for your baby NOW but in the future too.

And I totally agree that as the baby starts to move around and become distracted while feeding - it definitely gets more changing to do it in public.

SARAH
 
Honkyblues said:
While I personally don't mind breastfeeding in public (and still do with my 10-mth-old), some people are more shy or conservative or modest or less confident. The OP is obviously in one of those categories. There's nothing wrong with that - everyone is different. And let's face facts, with certain babies at certain ages, it IS difficult to feed discreetly - lots of bobbing on and off and exposing a nipple when babies are around 3-4mths, or with a newborn, mum often has to wave the nipple around to try to get little one to latch on.

What I'm trying to say is please give the OP a break - she didn't create this thread to be made to feel silly for wanting to feed her baby without men around. She wanted a bit of sympathy - and as a supportive community, we should give her that - not lecture her on the rights and wrongs of breastfeeding rooms versus bottle-feeding rooms, or mums' rooms versus parents' rooms.

Good luck to all - however you feed your little ones - in finding a nice spot in HK to do that! :gl:

Live and let live, and big hugs to all!!! :grouphug:
Click to expand...

Agreed, I feed at Starbucks/pacific coffee with a cover but much prefer a private room with no men allowed. Reason being my 3 month old quite often will get distracted and release exposing me.
 
Hey,
Don't feel bad because someone else has poor manners.
You did nothing wrong. I'm fine with the dads in there, but when you 'nicely' ask them to leave, they should. Well..these ones did.. Too bad if the moms have no manners.
Let them be like that..
You can't change them. Just try to change the effect they have on you.

Good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top