Alternative Parents

P

prone_to_wander

Registered User
I know lots of people in Hong Kong do the natural/organic route here but I'm wondering if there are any really alternative parents out there that want to get together. I'm thinking people like radical feminists, un-schoolers, birth activists, unassisted homebirthers, or really anyone with a strong liberal bent to them. I am currently child-less but plan on ttc (trying to conceive) later this summer and would really like to find people who are interested in different ways of birthing and parenting.

Thanks all.
 
Out of curiousity, what does it mean to believe in 'unschooling'? Does it mean you don't believe in schooling at all or you want to home school?
 
I'm interested in the phrase 'unassisted homebirth'. Do you mean birthing at home without the help of even a midwife?
I'm a huge advocate of intervention and drug free homebirths, but the thought of doing it completely unassisted sounds a bit crazy.
We have lower infant and mother mortality rates these days for a reason.
 
Matty,
if you are interested in discussing unassisted homebirths and assisted homebirths, I'm totally in.

But I kinda feel like your statement "We have lower infant and mother mortality rates these days for a reason." is judgemental.

I'd like to find like and open-minded people who are interested in discussing different options. But if you don't want to do this, could you not hijack my post.

Thanks.
 
If you decide to homebirth (whether free/assisted birth) you should be aware that it will be next to impossible to register such a birth in HK.
The immigration department here requires a hospital record of birth to release a birth certificate. So you would need to present to the hospital very soon after the birth of your baby to verify that he/she was born in HK.
The reason is that they are worried that women will come over from the mainland, and claim that their baby was born at home and in HK, giving them the right of abode.
I have heard stories of women giving birth at home, calling an ambulance to go to hospital, and having the police visit to ascertain at=s to the veracity of her story.
You should certainly check this out.

(From a not quite so radical feminist who is quite liberal, but thinks that unschooling doesn't equip children for today's society.....:) ......)
 
Sorry, didn't mean to sound judgmental, just genuinely interested in what you mean by unassisted homebirth, as I'm wondering what the advantages would be by skipping the midwife.

I tried everything to organise a homebirth here with my second. The only option seemed to be importing an overseas midwife, which unfortunatley was out of my price range.

I've spoken to one woman who did have a lovely homebirth here, and she tried to help, but she had the advantage of being a midwife herself and had a close midwife friend come and stay for a month.

I still stand by my statement, not meaning to be judgemental, just factual.
If something does happen, it's certainly nice to have someone experienced to lend a hand.
 
This is a pretty interesting video about unassisted childbirth. She mentions Doctor Dick-Reed whom I've read about in another book called [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Coached-Childbirth-Bradley-Method-Natural/dp/0553375563"]"Husband-Coached Childbirth"[/ame] by Doctor Bradley. Personally, we used the information in that book to have a drug-free, intervention-free, husband-coached, midwife-on-standby, hospital birth which was really good for us.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8Q_zCyjaw8"]YouTube - Laura Shanley-Unassisted Childbirth[/ame]

I don't think that there has been enough study on totally unassisted, home-childbirth to be able to say whether it is more or less risky than any other form of childbirth. I am not sure about the statistics on how many women choose this route. If anyone has some I'd be interested to know.

I find it all very interesting. For me, I am thankful that I was in a hospital because I hemorrhaged and really did need to be in a hospital with someone to stick pitocin in my leg and do some other really important procedures that neither I nor my husband would have been able to manage. I don't fully agree with all that the woman on the video argues but she makes some great points that I can agree with and do understand.
 
Happy V,
So lovely to find you. I think some unschooling, particularly when they are small is very appealing to me and then perhaps a Sudbury school or its ilk.

I have heard that you can register a birth if you have photos of yourself pregnant but it is something I'm looking into. I might just call the registry myself.

I think the term radical feminist not need be so scary. But I do like looking at gender paradigms and pushing the boundaries a bit.

Matty, It's cool. I have no problem explaining things but I just ask that people be open-minded. I think the thing that I get out of unassisted birthing is that giving birth is natural for women and that we need to trust our instincts more. I know for many women they can do this with a midwife but some want even more control. Here is a forum on it if you want to know more. Unassisted Childbirth - MotheringDotCommunity Forums

Also, I'd much prefer staying at home but as you mentioned, finding a midwife in Hong Kong is really difficult to do. An unassisted birth is in the back of my head but I'm not sure I have the guts to do it. We'll see.

Thanks for your replies!
 
Here are two more videos related to unassisted childbirth. If nothing else, the videos are useful for coming to grips with childbirth (or at least, that's what I used them for prior to giving birth).

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP1-KMKvuxk"]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.[/nomedia]

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIt1O-StoIs"]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.[/nomedia]
 
No problem, when it comes to birth, I'm completely openminded.
I was fortunate enough to have two amazing birth experiences using hypnobirthing.
I spent most of it at home, and had wonderful midwives in the hospital that weren't pushy and let my hubby and I do our thing.
I would have loved to have a homebirth 2nd time, but personally wouldn't have been comfortable without a midwife on standby.

If you do give birth at home in HK registering a homebirth here apparently isn't as difficult as you would think.
 
I'm curious about all these hospital, midwife, drug and intervention-free births you guys are talking about...were you here in HK? That's how we had our son, back in the states, but from what I'd heard this was going to be very tough to do in HK. Not that we've done much research--we honestly just planned to wait until we were back home to have #2. But if there's plenty of support here for that type of birth, then maybe we don't have to wait .... =would you mind telling me what hospital you delivered in? And did you have to be quite assertive to not have interventions, or not have them give the baby a bottle?
 
I delivered both of mine in public hospital, the first a Queen Mary, the 2nd at Prince of Wales.
Believe it or not, I think it's can be easier to have an intervention free birth in a public hospital, as you don't have to deal with an obstetrician you have paid who has his/her own ideas of how your birth should be.
I saw a Dr for only 10 mins during my first birth, she saw she wasn't needed and moved on. From there it was just a midwife who didn't do anything until I started pushing.
Didn't even see a Dr for my second.

I was very clear that I wanted no intervention and with a little insistence my hubby and I were left to do things our way.
They seem to offer you as little as possible in public hospital, which can work to your advantage if you want drug and intervention free.

I stayed at home for as long as possible, and only went to hospital for the last couple of hours.

At Queen Mary they didn't offer bottles if you were BF, but at Prince of Wales they insisted that my 4kg baby who was BFing fine needed one due to his 'massive' 8% weightloss!
It's not a problem if you are assertive and can stand your ground.
 
Last edited:
I think the idea of homebirths, unassisted or not, should be taken along the same lines as any birth plan - at the end of the day(literally!), with a grain of salt.
If I had insisted on a homebirth, I don`t think I would have ended up with such a healthy baby, or one at all.
It would be interesting to find out how many homebirthing experiences end up at the hospital and what finally prompts them to go? When your water breaks and every last drop of fluid leaves you along with a bit of the cord...? just an example... How can you tell the position of the baby`s head? Do you use a fetal monitor to measure the baby`s heartrate with your contractions? What happens if you hemmorage? What happens if there is something wrong with the baby and it needs immediate intervention?
It seems like there is too much luck and gambling involved and too many what ifs.
Homebirthing sounds like a nice idea in theory, but for me, I am more comfortable with being surrounded by professionals in a hospital or birthing centre.
 
i'm with you shenzheniffer...but i had two VERY, VERY complicated pregnancies...

even if they hadn't been, i think i would still have gone for the professionals around me. but, that's just me. i've had too many friends develop serious complications before, during and after to even consider a homebirth.

good luck if that's what you want to do. I hope you can find someone in hk to help as i've heard it's really difficult registering the birth etc.
 
In Europe homebirths are very common and just as safe as hospital births.
There are plenty of websites that show statistics.

Here in HK for my first, I had a midwife with me at home.
She came to my house after my water broke, she monitored my sons heartbeat, checked his position, monitored my blood pressure and made the cups of tea!
I had gotten to know her well during pregnancy and was completely relaxed with her.
She was also my hypnobirthing coach.
If you want her to, a midwife at home can do as much monitoring as in hospital.

8 hrs into labour when things were obviously moving along, we jumped into a taxi and went to hospital.
2nd time my hubby and I did it on our own.

If we'd been in the UK or just about anywhere else for that matter, we could have continued on at home with no problems.
We also would have had things like oxygen and basic resucitation equipment on hand, and an ambulance service that is set up to deal with birth complications, that gets you to the right place a quickly as possible.
Which for the majority of births is never needed.
 
I see a big difference between having a home birth with a qualified midwife and having an unassisted home birth all by yourself. If everything goes normally well then, yes there won't be a problem, but if something goes wrong, how will you know, and will you be a position to do anything about it, if you do somehow pick up that something is wrong.

edited to add,

I wouldn't have a home birth myself because where I live I would have to pay for that, and there is the option to have hospital delivery with a midwife with a birthing tub and it is free, but if that wasn't available I may consider a home birth with a miidwife.
 
Last edited:
Matty said:
I delivered both of mine in public hospital, the first a Queen Mary, the 2nd at Prince of Wales.
Believe it or not, I think it's can be easier to have an intervention free birth in a public hospital, as you don't have to deal with an obstetrician you have paid who has his/her own ideas of how your birth should be.
I saw a Dr for only 10 mins during my first birth, she saw she wasn't needed and moved on. From there it was just a midwife who didn't do anything until I started pushing.
Didn't even see a Dr for my second.

I was very clear that I wanted no intervention and with a little insistence my hubby and I were left to do things our way.
They seem to offer you as little as possible in public hospital, which can work to your advantage if you want drug and intervention free.

I stayed at home for as long as possible, and only went to hospital for the last couple of hours.

At Queen Mary they didn't offer bottles if you were BF, but at Prince of Wales they insisted that my 4kg baby who was BFing fine needed one due to his 'massive' 8% weightloss!
It's not a problem if you are assertive and can stand your ground.
Click to expand...

i must say, i'm a little jealous! i only wish that either of my pregnancies were so great! :woman
 
babymommy2 said:
I see a big difference between having a home birth with a qualified midwife and having an unassisted home birth all by yourself. If everything goes normally well then, yes there won't be a problem, but if something goes wrong, how will you know, and will you be a position to do anything about it, if you do somehow pick up that something is wrong.
Click to expand...

But don't we instinctively know when something is wrong? I'm not sure I'm gutsy enough to do an unassisted birth but I think it is an interesting question to ask how well we know ourselves and know our bodies. I think we are so scared to trust ourselves in case something "goes wrong". Things can "go wrong" in hospital too.

I also think people who go through unassisted births have weighed their options. We spend all of our lives filling our bodies with drugs to make them do what they are supposed to be doing, instead of actually listening to what our body is telling us. I think unassisted births makes us re-examine ourselves.
 
prone to wander, i think in an ideal situation where the mom is really connected to her own body (which is difficult to achieve with all the stress of today's world), and where we have experience watching other woman give birth like how ppl used to live - in villages where everyone is everyone's family, closely connected; and if we don't have babies well into our 30s, then we can have unassisted homebirths. our bodies are supposed to start having babies & giving birth when we are young, maybe 18 or 20. then giving birth to a baby is like going to the bathroom & our body recover so much quicker. but nowadays, we mess up our system with birthcontrol pills, hormones, late marriages, late pregnancy, it's difficult for a lot of us to have unassisted pregnancy, let alone unassisted birth.

i consider myself an alternative parent, i'm into natural medicines, natural birth & Waldorf education. i've had 2 babies, both times i practiced hypnobirthing but ended up having an epidural, 1st time baby was in the wrong position. 2nd time, baby was just too large for me (as asian, the midwives & doctor tell me, it is impossible to have drug free birth giving birth to a near 9lb baby without risking my life). i was lucky to have had a vaginal birth. going through these 2 experience let me to believe that sometimes life take us where we least wish to.

if you do decide & get your unassisted home birth, I wish you all the luck! i think it would be much easier if you are caucasian, and younger than 25.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top