Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 42.9%

  • No

    Votes: 11 31.4%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 9 25.7%

  • Done

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    35
  • Poll closed .
Apart from her stepping over the line with her own parenting preference, both my husband and i are generally happy with her and her work. She's only with us for 7 months, i guess these helper-employer relationship takes time to build...

As long as i don't find evidences of baby's welfare being slacked upon, i won't be that quick in firing her.
 
i agree that if you need cameras to 'spy' on your helper at home (whether with her knowledge or not) then you need a new helper. there would definitely be an erosion of trust and any 'bad' helper would always work around the surveillance to do what they want to do anyway. for a good helper, it's not a simple case of 'well there's nothing to worry about then" because there could be resentment on the loss of privacy doing their job...
 
Definitely a big yes to this subject.

Personally I can't convince myself to have an un-educated stranger (most of the case) from a developing country to raise my little one with no supervision from a family member. Yes, some may have a loving heart, but the cultural difference and the way of life difference may end up in a big clash. Sharing the same spoon and plate, and feeding with their hands may not be a big issue for them as for Indonesians they do eat with their bare hands, but for us, GROSS!!! I will never allow things of similar nature happen.

I will for sure install cameras in my home if I decide to go back to work again. I really can't trust a stranger 100% especially with my little one alone with her. You never know what they will do to your precious prince / princess at your back. Recently read an article about the common witchcrafts DHs will do to their employers just to make the employers like them or listen to them or not to give them a hard time. Gosh, very gross and scary. I will tell her in advance just to be fair to her and will simply tell her that I miss my baby so much that I want to see him any time I want to. So, with knowing that she is anytime being monitored, she will not dare not to follow our way of doing the work.

by the way, I will not install camera in her toilet and her room.
 
I have never had a helper and I don't think I would ever want one. I have used day homes in the past, similar in that it si one person looking after a child in their home, so no other adults around, unlike daycare where there are lots of people. I was not comfortable with it, hence now am a stay at home mom. We had a situation where the woman seemed great, caring, no major problems, but our child fell down the stairs. We only knew of it because my husband was arriving when it happened, and luckliy it was only 4 stairs, so not hurt. The woman did not inform her agency, or fill out any of tthe paperwork she should have, and wasn't willing to change gates. We left. I also agree that peopel tend to parent your child the way they would prefer when youa re not around. My babies never took bottles or sippy cups, only drank out of a regular cup. This same woman repeatedly tried to get my son to drink out of a sippy cup, even though I told her he never would, and she never did get him too, but she should have trusted I knew what I was talking about. I think getting a camera is a good idea, even if you toitally trust your dh. The thing I missed the most when I worked, was the tiny little things that you miss out on, what they say, what they do, cute things that happen. With a camera you could see some of that.
 
Little Monster, there are many helpers who are BETTER educated than their employers here with many university graduates. They work in HK because of the economical situation in their own country where professionals are paid less than what we pay our helpers here.

Perhaps its overgeneralising about how eating with bare hands is 'for us, GROSS' . The whole of the western DEVELOPED world eats stuff like pizza and KFC even canapes with their hands/fingers - is this also gross?

There are lots of stories about witchcraft, bad behaviour, swindlings and abuse by DH but no one reports all the contribution they make in HK community and family life - because that doesn't make juicy reading...
 
the first few posts seem like very extreme cases and we love our helper. i trust her to take care of my son. i agree with what carang has said....obviously, nothing is like mommy/daddy care, but if you cannot trust a helper who is living with you, then you should not have a helper at all. we feel like being able to afford a helper here (we've never had one) is a luxury as it allows us to spend more quality time with our son and with eachother. while i would never condone sharing of the same spoon as our son and drinks, she has made our lives so much easier.

To fault those who have them and who treat them like another member of the family, is ludicrious in ignorant.
 
In my opinion it would best that everyone sticks to answering the original query or expressing their own experiences/ opinions instead of starting a heated discussion or condemning what others have written. It just leads to unpleasantness.
 
My hubby and I used to laugh at the idea of having a camera to 'monitor' the helper. We always quote some ancient Chinese master once said(to the effect): if you don't trust someone, don't employ them; if you have employed someone, trust them(用人不疑, 疑人不用). However, after being more experienced in the helper domain, now we keep an open mind.

Of course as someone already noted here, if a helper is bad, she can always do something bad not in front of the camera. So a good helper does not fear of having a camera installed. Like mine who said, Mam I want you to have a camera, because if some unfortunate accident happened, I want you to know how exactly it happened. It'll save me explaining to you in detail and you may not believe what I said...

I think it also makes a difference whether some employer or other family member is around the house all the time. If I go back to work, I honestly would feel more comforting to be able to see how they spend the day, especially wanting to know that everything is ok. Believe me I have high level of trust with my helper(she is better and more patient than me around my children). However, I'd like to gain even more confidence with the help of a camera.
 
about eating with the hands...yes, eating something like spaghetti bolognese would be gross... but as mentioned before pizza, chicken, sushi (sorry, i cannot manage that with chopsticks) etc is ok...


but again, back to the original question....
 
i love eating with hands so it is not an issue in my household. it is the other way around. my helper using the utensils and me - using my hands.

anyway, back to the original question. we thought long and hard about it and in the end, decided not too. we are counting our lucky stars we hired a great helper.
 
original question: we wouldn't have a camera from a 'surveillance' perspective, it might be nice to have a 'skype' set up so you can see/chat with your toddler from work on occasion though!

Our helper is an extension of my husband and I when we are not there - with regard to everything - discipline, what does and does not happen etc. Anything we do, I'm fine with them doing (they are as clean as we are!) for consistency and because I trust them and respect their judgement (even if sometimes we disagree on some aspects of child rearing from a cultural standpoint - a session of controlled crying nearly broke my helpers heart!).

That also extends to deciding when my toddler leaves somewhere - I don't want to raise a little 'HK Tyrant' that orders their helper/nanny around and makes demands that are instantly gratified..

to Slamdunk's other point re the education levels of DH's, I totally agree - my helpers are massively overqualified (to clean my house and nanny) - something I'm incredibly grateful for.
 
Hmmm... hope we are not slamming at cultures or educational differences in this thread.

My initial intention is to hear from the rest of you mummies on your thought regarding having cameras at home, not on how much bad things could happen when we are not around... (come on, let's not stress ourselves out unnecessarily please. I'm sure most mummies here have their hand full of list of things to do and worry about)

I'm happy with my helper but just alittle confused about her being too "motherly" in her own ways, which hey, perhaps ain't such a bad thing... suspicions, mystery or not, i guess i have to put in more time and effort in coaching my helper.. it's a 2 way thing, i did some reflection and i realize that i'm too easy going and my helper perhaps though she could improvise on my preference..

I'm going to have more initiative in taking part in things i wanted her to do, like mentioned from the other threads. i could start writing down what have baby been fed and what time and etc on a kitchen whiteboard and get her to help me follow up when i'm out.

Many thanks to you mummies insights. After much thought, i pretty much agreed on the neutral approach. Perhaps like LeahH idea, i could get my helper to video call me when baby is up and vice versa. I guess this 2 way approach could put my mind at rest and justify my helper's pride and respect.

Heeeee.
 
I'll start by saying that I know that I'm very fortunate, as my helper is amazing, and we actually consider her a part of the family.

I don't know how you could develop a trusting relationship with a helper if you use a camera.

I think you can tell how your helper treats your children when you aren't around, simply by the relationship they have with each other.
I see how my helper is with my children, and she genuniely loves them.
I'm sure that if she was mistreating them when I wasn't around I would know.
As it is, my 11 mths olds face lights up when he sees her, and happily stretches out his arms to go to her.
My 2.5 year old often wants a random hug from her, and includes her in his bedtime list of people he loves.
If my children seemed frightened of her, then I would suspect something was up.

I've had not so great helpers before, and my advice to people is if you have any reservations about your helper, find yourself one that you are comfortable with.
 
Radical Mum: I "made" my helper follow my parenting style so to speak. She loves taking care of the baby. So I would not let her handle the baby if she doesn't do it my way. Its easy to hand the baby to them when you are really tired or you really need 5 min break from a grumpy baby and they are a willing/ excited and very capable caretakers. It takes patience and a some extra effort. I would watch her bathe the baby, or play or put the baby to sleep or calm him down. Correct her then and there or take the baby if you feel its not the right way. For eg, Explain to her why you want your baby to learn to sleep without rocking. I have to say that watching her- even I have learnt a few things from her about baby care. She is so calm that the baby almost always manages to give her an ounce of a smile even when he is tired and cranky. I am really thankful for it.
 
Indian food should not be eaten with forks and knives. Takes away entire pleasure of eating it.

For those who find it yuck/ gross.... my grandfather taught me how to enjoy mangoes.... slurp the juice running down your hands because fingers are busy holding the fruit and you cannot waste a single drop!! I feel so sad for you guys.
 
If we ever come to hire a helper, it's because we'll trust her enough, and preferably when our son will be able to express himself. I guess that if he's not happy or anything happens he would tell us... then a camera wouldn't be useful anymore to know that she has to leave.
I think we have higher expectations with the helpers than for ourselves, things we do they should do it better, and things we don't they should do it anyway !
I agree with Suv, a lot of food has a much better taste eaten with fingers :)
 
Mmm, such a difficult question...I don't have a helper and won't ever have one. BUT if I entertained the idea of having one, I do actually think I would have a camera - if only so I could say at the end of the day that I did everything possible to protect my home - you know? I understand that there is a level of trust that you simply must have when you hire someone to help you with your children but I still think personally I would feel better knowing I had "extra eyes". I do think though that once your children are older, the way they act around your helper will be indicative enough of what kind of job they are doing. Before that though, before your child can speak and let you know, you need to protect them. Best of luck.
 
New to Geobaby and new to HK in general. Great to see so many opinions. Here's my 2 cents. When I hired my nanny in the US, I setup a 3 camera system before she started work. One in the living/play area and the other in the kids bedrooms. No hidden/spy cameras, just regular infrared cameras --so everything is out in the open. I explained to the nanny that the cameras were there to watch over my 3 kids (age 3 and newborn twins). The cameras served a dual purpose. First to watch the nanny and second to watch the kids as they slept or played.

The nanny turned out to be the most caring person and best person to take care of my kids. The kids loved her and she loved them. We were sad when she could not follow us to HK. After 2 years with us she was part of the family. She called us 10 times the first week we moved to HK. She even visited us in HK at her expense just to see the kids. Great person with a great heart.

So what did the camera catch? A caring nanny who did her job correctly. Was the camera system worth it? Yes, because it gave us peace of mind the first few months.

We eventually stopped using the cameras to watch the nanny because we developed trust. However, the cameras did not go to waste. During the night, we used the cameras to monitor our kids sleeping. We did not need to run to their rooms everytime they were fussing to see what was happening. We just looked at the monitor to see if they were safe. We even saw them standing in the crib for the first time via the cameras. We watched them try to walk along the crib railing. It is amazing what you could see them doing early in the morning.
 
Suv said:
Indian food should not be eaten with forks and knives. Takes away entire pleasure of eating it.

For those who find it yuck/ gross.... my grandfather taught me how to enjoy mangoes.... slurp the juice running down your hands because fingers are busy holding the fruit and you cannot waste a single drop!! I feel so sad for you guys.
Click to expand...

I think you're confusing the issue. What many of us find gross is not feeding ourselves with our own hands but our helper feeding our children with their own hands. I was in the playground yesterday and saw helpers feeding themselves with their own hands then and without washing their hands, feeding the children they were looking after. That is gross whatever anyone says. And I'm not talking about giving them a slice of fruit which is obviously ok, I'm talking about real, cooked food that there was no reason they couldn't have used a spoon to feed with.
 
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