Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 42.9%

  • No

    Votes: 11 31.4%

  • Maybe

    Votes: 9 25.7%

  • Done

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    35
  • Poll closed .
radicalmum

radicalmum

Registered User
Hi hi,

I wondering if there are others caught in the same 'to do or not to do" dilemma as well? Hoping to see if i could get some advices or insight here.

Firstly, i must admit. I'm alittle paranoid about leaving my little one at home with helper. I know this is my trust issues, not my helper. Spying was never my intention so i would inform her if i decided to install one. ( i'm working on what are the best excuses/reasons to tell her)

My helper may not be the greatest but have been happy with her so far. The only catch is, she sometimes don't follow our guidelines when it comes to handling baby.

She's a mother of a 2 years old and i know she misses her son. She tends to go overboard on imposing her own parenting preference on my baby. Initial i thought that was a positive thing as i feel much more reassured about her and my baby bonding.

Unfortunately, over a course of 7 months, i have some minor suspicions/ issues and is contemplating on installing home camera to promote "follow the guidelines please" and various others like seeing my baby whenever i wishes and home securities etc.

BUT, i'm in between my mind as i don't want the relationship and trust we have been working on to be damage or misunderstood. After all, for her to love my baby even thought she's out of the line is better than not.

Oh well.. dilemma.. dilemma.. dilemma... Hope to hear from the rest of you.

Thanks in advance.
 
I don`t have a helper, nor do I think I would ever want one, unless they were only cleaners. I also would not be able to trust anyone else to raise my child well, especially the way I would raise them.
I would put a camera in if you can. For sure. There was another thread on here about that (I think the one with the Malaysian nanny abusing the toddler) and a woman said that she had a camera but she told the helper, though I`m not sure what she said.
I mean, she has already not followed your guidelines for handling your baby? I think some other mothers would even fire her for that.
For me, I know that things could get awkward with the helper once the camera issue came up, but I would rather risk the awkwardness between me and a kind of stranger, than to put my own child at risk for anything.

Incidentally, I saw some young helpers with local kids in a McDonalds the other day, and one of them was not handling the little girl very nicely. I went up and told her off, hopefully humiliating her enough not to behave like that in public. But who knows what she does in the privacy of their own home with other people`s children. Know what I mean?
You can never be too safe. And I think as long as you are upfront and honest with her about installing a camera, then it is within your right. She should have nothing to fear if she is doing a good job.
 
Just like Shenzhennifer I would not trust anyone to take care of my daughter (Unless I was physically uncapable of doing so) after seeing how many helpers take care of children. In my daughter's playgroup I have seen a helper eating with the same spoon, from the same plate from which she was feeding the child. Even seen a helper pick up noodles from the floor and feeding another child at my friend's place. (BTW my friend thinks she is God sent.) Another yuck thing I see often is helper using her hands to feed the kids fruits/ rice. Just yesterday I saw in the apartment building playroom a little girl wanted to go back home but the helper didnt so she hid her shoes and told the girl to find them. The poor girl kept pleading she wanted to go home but helper wanted to chat with her friends. I have seen another helper spank a little boy at a play area more than once, I wonder if the poor parents knew or was it them who gave her permission to do so. The list goes on...... My point is even if the helper is wonderful in front of you, you never know what she does when you are not watching. I would not shy from installling a spy cam.
 
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After seeing the video clip, I just feel so upset about the little girl, one point everyone should know and what I have been reminded by many of my friends is never trust any helpers no matter how good they are in front of you. We know these young girls who come to HK to earn some money for their family or just find a better place to stay might not really like the job of taking care of young ones and they do not really have the patience, some like the video likes to vent their anger upon the young ones, so I am never going to leave my son alone under the care of the helper no matter how nice she appears in front of me. Either install a surveillane camera or have someone from your family to look after. This is for the safety of your precious ones who you don't want to see suffering in some of those notorious helpers (like from the video and many others)
 
I voted yes. As I mentioned in another thread, I will install one if I go back to work and let my helper know about it. I said to her that I need to know whether the kids are OK during the day. She said she understands.

I agree with the two ladies about some helpers doing nasty things to our little ones. Believe me it's very upsetting to know this. We as parents would never hit our kids under any circumstances. But they can because our kids are not theirs. Again it's down to luck whether we've got someone with a good heart and good work ethics.

Unfortunately for many families with two parents working and no help from either side of the familes, getting a helper to look after the kids is the only option. Back in Australia I was quite happy to put my kids in day care centre as they are many teachers working together. They need to follow the centre's/govement's rules and I believe no one would so blatantly punish any kids in front of so many eyes. In HK however, there is no such centres available for most people.

Also, as seen from my other poll, at least 70% of the employers are still quite happy with their helpers. I think it kind of proved that the majority of helpers are good. Yet still I'd like to install a computer cam just to be sure, because most of us are aware that we cannot trust them 100%.
 
"I have seen a helper eating with the same spoon, from the same plate from which she was feeding the child."

"Another yuck thing I see often is helper using her hands to feed the kids fruits/ rice."

"Just yesterday I saw in the apartment building playroom a little girl wanted to go back home but the helper didnt so she hid her shoes and told the girl to find them."

personally, i don't see anything wrong with ANY of these things. my helper takes care of my children very well. they absolutely love her.
1) using same spoon? don't have a problem with that. mine also shares drinks with the kids. so long as she's not sick, big deal.
2) feeding fruit with her hands? so long as she has washed her hands, why not? i do the same thing with my kids, why shouldn't my helper? not only that, but if you are out and about, it isn't always convenient to carry a fork.
3) hiding shoes? sounds like something i would do... make a game out of it. you nor your helper should give in to every thing that the child wants all the time. hiding the shoes and making a game out of it is a good idea, i think. of course, if it was done maliciously, that's a different story.

every person/family has different ideas on what is acceptable and what is not. i guess i wouldn't make a good helper for geomum, but that doesn't mean that i would be abusive.

i don't have a camera. if i ever got to the point that i thought i might need one, it would be time to get a new helper. i believe that i have to have trust and faith in my helper, by installing a camera i would not be showing that. if she ever gave me reason to doubt my faith in her, she would be gone.

if your helper is already not following your instructions, what good would a camera do? if she's not following your instructions and you are right there a camera will not make any difference. if you are unhappy with her current behaviour, you need to find a new helper. trust will not all of a sudden appear because you have a camera.

good luck with your decision.
 
In principle I agree with Carang that if you're thinking of getting a camera it's time to get a new helper. However, I don't think it's as simple as that.

I agree that you can never fully trust a helper to do things the way you want when you're not around. It's not even a question of the helper potentially abusing your child but simply not doing things the way you have asked her to. Most helpers have their own children and like any parent, they think 'their way' is the best way so though they might do things your way in front of you they will often revert to their way when you are not around.

I do believe installing a camera and telling your helper could actually be a good way to ensure they 1) stick to your way and 2) don't slack off or treat your child inappropriately fearing you may be watching. By 2) I mean anything from hitting (god forbid) or yelling at or teasing etc. Personally I wouldn't want my helper to hide my child's shoes so she can hang out with her helper friends longer. I'm paying for her to look after my child not to socialise. When my boss pays me to hang out with my mates I'll consider looking the other way when this happens :haha:

As for the helper feeding the child with the same spoon she is using, I'm also against this. It's just unnecessary. I would feel the same if it were my mother doing it. I wouldn't eat off the same spoon as my mother or my helper so I'm not going to make a little child who is incapable of saying or knowing to say no, do it.

Speaking of bad helper's, on the weekend my husband was shopping in Stanley and saw a helper smack and violently pull at a little girl's legs. He couldn't believe it. If she's capable of doing that in public what is she doing at home?

I found out last week that quite a few people in our building have cameras in their homes. One even has a camera in the helper's room which is completely insane and unfair. We don't have any and haven't considered getting any but I am home most of the time. I have however considered getting them in the past when we had a helper who really just needed to be fired. This we thankfully did.
 
I personally would not consider a camera. I dont think it would stop bad things happening, if the helper was that way inclined. There are sure to be places within the home that you cannot watch, or even see what goes on outside the house. If I felt uncertain about my helper then I definately would not leave my children with her, and I would look for someone else. If I was to return to work (which I am considering), then I would do my best to relieve the pressure on my helper that could lead to anger/frustration, for example longer hours at school, maybe a second helper, and also arrange playdates with others. The majority of helpers would not harm children. As for doing things the way you like them, then You need to find someone with methods/ways/common sense similiar to your own. Then at the same time give some flexibility. Someone caring for a child for long hours is bound to do things a little differently. I have learned afew things from my helper. I have also let people go who I know will not do things in a similar way to myself. Good luck however whatever you decide to do.
 
Ew - I would freak out if I saw my helper feeding my child with either the same spoon she is putting in her mouth or her hands. I think that is disgusting. Who knows where her hands have been before that, what germs she has? Sorry, but the helper is not family. We`re all talking about Swine flu now and there are people passing germs like this? Yuck.

Sorry off topic but I have been getting really annoyed at the amount of people in HK - STRANGERS - that feel it`s their right to touch my baby, particularly on his hands, which he then puts directly in his mouth (he`s at that age). If that`s not a way to keep spreading viruses, I don`t know what is.
 
like i said, different strokes for different folks. my helper has been with us for more than 4 years. i do not have a problem with it... doesn't make me wrong, just different.
 
If I do something, doesn't mean the helper can do that too. I don't feed my daughter with my hands except biscuits or toast etc. I sometimes do eat from the same spoon/ plate as my daughter since I AM HER MOTHER. If she is tired and wants to go home I don't trick her or play games with her so that I can chat with my friends, I take her home.
I would install a camera if/ when I hire a helper or if I am suspicious of her behaviour or if after being sure she has been treating my child badly and been warned about it I feel she is still continuing with her old ways.
Cara your helper seems to be "God sent" :)
 
and if i was told that my helper was mistreating my children, i don't think i would give a second chance...

and although my helper isn't perfect (i certainly don't expect her to be), i do thank my lucky stars everyday for having someone i can trust take care of my kids. also, something to consider, both hubby and i work different than "normal" hours. hubby is often home throughout the day. i am home early and some days, i start late. that may explain a lot.
 
my colleague just sent me a video clip of helper abusing a child, dont' know where she got it from, but it definitely makes me very , very angry with the helper.. really want to.. &^&^%&^^%^$$%$$#$#!!!!!
don't know how to post the video clip here, though..
if u want to see or help me post, please pm me.
thanks
 
btw,, i would never want a helper, if i really do need one,, then i must have a surveillance camera at home. true, you can't stop abuse.. if there is.. having a camera.. but knowing is always better than not knowing..
u know, u can stop it asap, and poor child suffered once, if you dont know, it may happen over and over again.
 
we don't have a camera, we have no plans to install one, but it we were, we would tell the helper that we were going to.
 
If you "think" your helper is not doing as you want or abusing your child, you should just terminate her employment. 1) I think there is usually no smoke without fire and 2) even if there is no real fire, the trust is gone already and you need to trust her to look after your child. Installing a camera in these circumstances would just show her you do not trust her and you will still wonder what she is doing in the areas where you cannot see.

As for helpers who are abusive, I think most of the time, you can tell from the way your kids react round them (apart from newborns and very very young babies). My children loved our previous helper (fired her cos she had a physical fight with the other helper and nothing to do with the way she looked after our kids) and you could see how happy and smiley they were when they saw her.

For feeding fruit with fingers, my helpers do that at home sometimes and I think it's ok, cos I do it too as it's easier and I trust them that their hands are clean. The licking of spoons I am wary of cos they may have picked up viruses which is nothing to an adult and they may not even be aware, but may be more serious for young kids. Afterall, a lot of helpers gather en masse during sat/sun in close proximity to each other and share food, it's the easiest way to pass illness around.
 
I would let my helper feed my kid the way I'd feed her myself. Meaning giving her a piece of fruit with my hands, yes; sharing a spoon, no.

I saw the horrific "helper abuses child" video. OMG, OMG, OMG. Before watching the video, I'd have said, no to installing a camera in a heartbeat. Now, I think it depends on many factors, some difficult to pin down.

Personally, I won't install a camera because I'm a stay-at-home-mom. If I can't trust my helper to baby-sit my kid for a few hours, I should look for a new helper (or baby-sitter for that matter).
 
Thank you ladies for sharing.

I must raise that my suspicious are not of helper abusing baby. I still manage to muster up some trust and faith that she's not heavy handling or being careless with baby.

Also, every person differs, so things like lifestyle and habit preference is subjective and i don't judge any of those. Whatever we are comfortable with, hands, spoons, fork and all....

The some of the issues i have are more like:/-

- after explaining to her why i prefer baby to be place in bed and encouraged to sleep on her own but both my husband and myself catch her thrice carrying/rocking the baby to sleep when i'm very sure baby don't have the habit out of that. I'm very sure because baby sleeps with me in the night so that my helper can have ample rest. And since she started this carrying baby to sleep, my baby now wakes up twice in the night not to feed but to be carried!...

This, i don't want to over-react and i could live with reminding her over and over until she gets what i wanted to achieve in the end.


- Another mystery is: i've taught her what are the things i would like baby to be fed but i realized that these 3 days of out handling house moving stuff, baby's food ingredients didn't move much but her formula and rice cereal did. This is the one thing i'm suspicious. Did she do up the meals the way i wanted it or she kept things easy?

I did ask her, she told me she did but she adds very little meat and vegetable as baby didn't like. I explained to her that is not a good thing as baby needs her share of nutrition irregardless she likes it or not. Baby only decide how quantity much she wants to eat but i decide what she eats.

This, as much as i tried to reason out in my mind, i'm still suspicious. Whatever it is, i'm re-planning my trips out in-between her feeds for now.
 
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