Would loan money to your helper?

Would you lend your helper money to pay for an operation for her mother?

  • Yes, I would but have not been asked

    Votes: 9 19.1%
  • No, I wouldnt and I have not been asked

    Votes: 22 46.8%
  • Yes, I would and have done in the past

    Votes: 16 34.0%

  • Total voters
    47

mel_g20

Registered User
A simple question... if you had a good helper you trusted, and she asked to borrow money to pay for an operation for her mother who is sick, would you? Or have you?
 
In general I would say yes, although I guess it depends on the amount of the loan. From time to time, our helper has asked for advances on her salary from time to time, which we are fine with. The most we have advanced is 2 months' salary - and that was for her mom's illness.
 
I have lent my helper money on several occasions for family emergencies. I'd rather she borrows from us than a 3d party. She has gotten in trouble with the money lenders and has learnt her lesson.
 
Yes, but not more than her monthly salary (HKD4,000). She pays me back HKD500 each month. For some reason, as soon as she is about to pay off her 'loan,' she'd have another emergency. Just a coincidence or bad financial management? I have no idea.
 
Yes, twice in 8 years. The first was for medical expenses for her daughter, which I gave her as a gift (it wasn't much money), although she did offer to repay it.

The second was for her son's wedding and by my standards was a large amount of money. I save an extra 10% of her salary each month into an interest bearing account, sort like a retirement bonus when she stops working for us (will also cover long service leave easily). I took the wedding funds out of this and explained to her what I'd done and why it didn't need to be repaid.
 
(That's a great idea, jane01 --about putting aside 10% into an interest-bearing account.)

Yes, both times for emergencies in the family --in the form of salary advances.
 
We have lent her money many times no problem. but our helper has been with us more than 14 years. Generally when she travels back home or when she needs for her daughter as her daughter has polio. She is also very clever as a lot of helpers take loans from 3rd party and these 3rd parties ask for guarantee of another helper and when the original borrower doesnt pay they chase the guarantor.
 
I think everyone I knows has a helper whose 'mother' or 'father' has needed an operation at one time or another. I really think it depends on your helper. Our first one, who we fired after 8 months of putting up with really bad work asked for a loan of $8k. I said no, that we categorically did not loan to helpers. If our current one asked I would probably do it but if I had even a whiff that she was lying to me about the reason for it I would say no. I would much rather her tell me the truth, no matter what the story than feed me lies. Our first helper told me at the interview that her father was dead. 5 months later he made a miraculous recovery and she needed to borry money for his hospital bills!

Our new helper has a bone lazy husband and 5 children to support. We pay her a good amount of money (4.5/month) and give her bonuses quite often to help. We also just paid for her sister in law to come across and helped her find an employer. Now hopefully the sister in law will help support her bum brother so our helper has one less mouth to feed!

I think a lot depends on the amount of money, the time frame to pay it back and whether you really, really trust them.
 
I would lend her the money and I would believe her 100%. I trust my helper absolutely as frankly otherwise I would not let my son out of the door with her. So I would feel the need to back up that trust by believing her and lending her the money in her time of need.

Having said that, I would also talk about the fact that I think it is not a good idea to have an outstanding loan between us as it eventually can create difficulties in the relationship - which is the reality.
 
I would lend her the money and I would believe her 100%. I trust my helper absolutely as frankly otherwise I would not let my son out of the door with her. QUOTE]

That sounds quite self righteous or did I misinterpret? I think it's naive to think you can trust anyone 100% who comes from a completely different culture to our own, with a different economic reality and where people's lives are not valued as much as they are in more well off countries. What's to say your helper isn't embarrassed to tell you the real reason why she needs money (whatever that is)?

Actually, i don't know anyone of any nationality who is 100% honest, myself included. Doesn't make us bad people.
 
Having said that, I would also talk about the fact that I think it is not a good idea to have an outstanding loan between us as it eventually can create difficulties in the relationship - which is the reality.

Hi snagito - I have been wondering about this. I'm not comfortable with my helper taking a loan from us but I figure that it is the better of the two devils. I don't want finance companies chasing her down and I'd want to get clued in, at the very least, if she's having dire financial problems. Lending her money when she needs it for emergencies helps me understand her situation better and in turn, I can be prepared and also help her, if needed.

So far, our relationship hasn't changed (yet) although I find that she gets lazier and more absent-minded these days but I've been told that this happens sometimes and I just have to deal with it.

Thus, I'm interested to know, specifically, what kind of difficulties that can be created from this relationship. I hope that me, lending her money is not making her more absent-minded and lazier.
 
It depends on how much money. I have given advances on salary of a few thousand to most of my helpers, but my current helper needed to borrow $35K to repay a loan. We said no as she was new and we weren't sure whether she would be sticking around long enough for us to get repayment by instalments from her monthly salary if we repaid the loan for her.
 
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Thanks for all of your honest replies. I respect and trust my helper, but then still cannot be 100% sure that the money is for what she says it is for, or that I will get it all back. But saying that I will give her the benefit of the doubt and probably lend her the money.

I agree culturally we are in different positions from our helpers, and I personally cannot completely understand how it feels to live so far from home, family and children, and what the pressure of putting food into those mouths must feel like. Saying that I have to believe that the majority of people are good and honest, and hope this is the right thing to do.
 
Portia, wow a $35 k loan. That's some cheek even asking for it. It's a ton of cash by any standards let alone for a new helper. I completely understand saying no.

Sage, this is probably a horrible thing to say but our first helper got wind that we were going to fire her so she came up with a story about needing money for her sick father (who she had already told us was dead...). We figured it was her way of ensuring we wouldn't fire her. i.e we'd want our money back and keep her on as long as it took.

Needless to say we didn't give her the loan and did fire her a month later for unrelated matters.

I have found that of the three helpers we've had in 18 months (yeah not much good at hiring!) the first two got lazier the more generous we were- figured we were easy touchs. The third is the only one who doesn't take the extras we give her for granted or as a sign she can slack off but rather as an indication that we are happy with her current level of work. We are very happy to have found her and were always surprised by the two previous employee's who reacted in the exact opposite way to what we had intended when we gave the gifts and bonuses!
 
Aussiegal, why yes. How strange. Her laziness and absent-mindedness started after I increased her salary. I decided to increase her salary after three months of hiring her as I was happy with her. But then, things went downhill from there... particularly in the loan department.

Yes, I get the part about ensuring that we wouldn't fire her. Which is why I gave her only a month's salary. She wanted about HKD10,000. Once she's repaid her current loan, I have no doubt that she'd be expecting another loan. In my helper's case, I think it's just pure bad fiscal management. She has the latest iPod and a very snazzy cellphone so, I don't think she's in dire straits where money is concerned. I think she just doesn't plan for emergencies and/or impulse purchases.
 
It depends on how much money. I have given advances on salary of a few thousand to most of my helpers, but my current helper needed to borrow $35K to repay a loan. We said no as she was new and we weren't sure whether she would be sticking around long enough for us to get repayment by instalments from her monthly salary if we repaid the loan for her.

That`s funny, nearly her whole year`s salary - that`s like asking our boss at home for a loan of a half million dollars.
 
We had the same request...father in hospital, etc. and we asked that she show us a copy of the hospital documents first. It's easy...a diagnosis, an in-patient form or anything like that will do. After a few days, she said the prob was solved and she didn't need the money anymore (ta-daaa!). If she solved the prob through a loan shark, she'd be fired on the spot, which she knows as we stipulated that in the rules we set from day one.

So far, she has asked for half a month, one month etc. on one or two occasions and we did agree to that but said no more in future.
 
My former cleaner asked for a bit of money one day as she said her son had been scalded by hot water before she came and they didn`t want to take him to the public hospital bc the wait was too long and so needed to money for a private doctor. I actually didn`t have the money to lend her at that time so I refused her (and felt guilty about it later). I never heard from her again after that.
I wouldn`t lend money to my helper (if I had one), sob story or not. I`m not a bank. The only thing I might do would be to advance her wages a bit, but that would mean she wouldn`t get salary at all for that time period, so she would have to work out her personal finances herself.
 
I've lent money to our helpers several times, to send home in emergencies and before their trips home. Their families all have their hands out for money as soon as they arrive.

We haven't done more than $10k for one loan, they know we couldn't afford to do more than that and wouldn't ask.

I trust them and if they say it's an 'emergency' then that's sufficient detail - I don't want or need more information. They are sisters and support a large number of people back in the Philippines - if they say they need it then I am very sure they do.

I'm not a bank, but they don't have access to actual banking/legitimate financial services so better that it's me than some of the unscrupulous loan sharks operating here.
 
Why don't they have access to actual banking and legitimate services? (I'm not being snarky, I genuinely don't know the situation)

C.
 
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