Worried Mamma

F

Fazna

New member
hi,
My to be three years old next mnth daughter doesnt listen when told not to do things. Shes a very actice child and loves to help me. But there are times when Im too busy or in a hurry to do cooking she wants to be with me . I dont want to hurt her but telling her that there are things that she do not have to touch or do she doesnt listen.
And also i have a 11 mnth bay daughter. My elder one hits her, pushes her and snatches the things that she takes. I have tried telling her but she is very stubborn. Sometimes I yell at her and sometimes i hit her (not so hard) in her bum. She cries when I do that. NAd i get sad too.
Im Really worried. How can i take care of my two little angels without making a difference between the two of them. The two of them are really loves me a lot. And they too get jealous.



worried mamma
 
hi!
i have a 2 year old baby. she is beautiful. but i am a single mum and i am finding it hard to leave her when i have to go to work. she really doesn't handle being left with my helper very well... and i have found that she is starting to throw tantrums more and more. i am having difficulties in taking care of her as well as myself... i dont even remember the last time i had a manicure! just the other day, we were in the mall and i had to change my tampon and she literally threw a fit. i dont know what to do!
 
I got the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for the Toddler" by Tracy Hogg to help deal with my spirited toddler. It helped both of us.
 
I also have nearly 3 year old and 14 month old daughters at home and before the older one would snatch toys or push the younger. Apart from those incidences, she is very loving towards her younger sister. I think at nearly 3, they already understand they should not do something when you tell them not to, they just do not understand why.

I just kept telling her that her sis will get hurt and be in pain and cry (she understands the pain concept) when she pushes. I also stood her in front of her sis and showed her how to ask her sis nicely if she wanted something. Luckily nearly 1 year olds will give you whatever she has if she thinks it's a game, so we also play the game where we will pass a ball (or some other toy) to one another. Sometimes if baby sis will not cooperate, I just kept 2 toys going, like swapping one in her hand with another. This usually stops the problem of your little one screaming too when her toy is given away.

I know it sounds simple, but it worked for us. Now my older one will go up to her sis and say "Mui mui (baby sis), that's not yours, please give to Gar Tse (big sis)". Or she will take another toy to her sis and say "take this, mui mui, this is yours" and attempt to swap it. Obviously, I still need to supervise when neither wants to back down sometimes, but at least there are no immediate explosion.

Also, do you spend a special time when all 3 of you play? Does not have to be long time, just play something that all 3 of you can laugh together. That way, your older one will hopefully think that it's a fun thing to play and share with her sibling.
 
ME TOO. any suggestions would really help me.
my daughter clings to me like crazy and just the other day she threw another tantrum in the mall and i'm really struggling as a single mum. how do you cope with everything???
 
I've found the book "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Adele Faber very helpful. My two generally get along very well with and are quite sweet with each other. I think partly the key is to be able to have one-on-one time with each one (not easy when there doesn't seem to be enough time to begin with!). Another thing that we've found that really helps is that we try to, we can, involve #1 when we do things with #2 and vice versa -e.g. get our son to show his little sister how to do something and point out when she imitates something that he has done -- to show that he is somehow an "influencer" and that gives him a sense of pride and "ownership" as a big brother / get the little one to hand the older one things that he would need for whatever "project" that he might be working on (nothing complicated).

Good luck.
 
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