Working parents and what time toddlers go to sleep

B

bbvv

Registered User
Just out of interest, how do working parents deal with the time your preschool toddlers go to sleep? I don?t see my son when I leave for work and when I leave work on time at 6pm it?s normally around 7.15pm when I get home. I have around 1.5hr with my son before I tuck him to sleep. He needs to get up around 7.15am to get ready for school ? he is 25mths.

Sometimes I work overtime and don?t come home until around 9 to 9.30pm - only to see my son sleeping. Part-time work is not possible at my office and currently I have no intention of moving to another job because I enjoy it.

I hear stay-at-home mums getting their babies/toddlers to sleep around 7.30pm and that?s ok for them as they see them during the day.
 
I work too. One or two nights a week I don't get home in time to see my kids, so I just get to see them for 1 hour in the morning.

My kids both sleep by 8pm usually.

I also enjoy my job and make the weekends count.
 
When my children were little ones we followed the Chinese system of a long nap in the afternoon and staying up late. They would go to bed around 10:00 pm to 11:00 pm. This meant that I would get to see them for at least four hours in the evening and also meant that my babysitter got a long break in the afternoon. And because they were used to this it meant that I got a long break at the weekends. All my children would sleep in the pushchair so this long nap at the weekends didn't stop us doing anything. Remember that putting children to bed early is a very western idea (mainly British and any culture that has been affected by Britain). Asian and Mediterranean countries have children around much later in the evening.

One of the things I like about living in Hong Kong is that it is very international and you meet people from all countries and cultures. This means that you can pick and choose what works in your family and not worry that others are doing it differenly.

Because my children were always around in the evening it made my husband and I rethink our romance. We'd choose to go out for a special lunch or breakfast. There is something very decadent about going out for breakfast.

Best wishes,
Barb
 
hi barbwong_130, how did your children cope when they had to wake up early to school. If mine didn't sleep before 9pm, he will get fussy around 11am when he is still at preschool and the teachers has to distract him with toys to calm him down. His preschool day starts at 8.30am and ends at 12noon, he has lunch at home and after about an hour he naps for around 2hrs.

Normally on Fridays and Saturdays we let him stay up later and he can then have a lie-in in the mornings and on Sundays, he goes to bed before 9pm. We do make the most of our weekends with our children. My younger one is 5mths so we are not worried about her yet.
 
When I worked in an office (I have just started working from home - part time at present but I think it will increase), I would also see my children for only 1-1.5 hours each night plus breakfast (which could be anything up to 2 hours - depending on when the baby woke!). My husband was always at work before the kids woke so he would only see them for that 1-1.5 hours at night and then on Sunday as he worked on Saturdays too!

We tried to have the kids stay awake past 7.30 - to about 9pm so we could spend more time with them as a family but they could not change their waking habits (6-7am) so they could not stay up.

We would talk about it a bit on how we could change it but we both liked work and our lifestyle (ie where we lived) so we made do.

Can you move closer to your office so you do not have to commute?
 
My hubby's business is in the New Territories and moving out closer to where I work (HK Island) would be impossible. Besides we live with the children's grandma who looks after them every now and again and moving out will make travelling inconvenient for her as she is 71yr old.
 
I live about a 1 hour door to door commute from my workplace - live in DB and work in Central.

My girls wake anywhere from 6am to 7am. I leave for work around 7.15'ish. I try to leave work at 5.30-6, so am home to put them to bed. Frankly, I think I'm the only one in my entire (large) organisation that leaves this early, particularly in a professional role. My girls go to bed around 7-730'ish.

All up, on work days I only see them for an hour or so and I hate it. I work part-time. It was 4 days/week and I have recently cut back to 3. My workplace is not at all supportive of part time and it was a big struggle. It is just a job now, I'm certainly not progressing up the career path which I think is a shame as I think I have a lot to offer in my reduced hours.

Late nights don't work for my children - they still get up at the same time in the morning, they are just super grumpy. And my eldest just cannot sleep during the day. We have been on overnight long flights and she still won't sleep the next day.

You just have to find a balance that works for your family. There is no right and wrong way and I think every working parent struggles with the same issues you are facing. Good luck.
 
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