Working Mum Dilemma

L

louisouis

Registered User
Hi everyone, wonder if any working mums can share their experiences... I am experiencing terrible guilt for not spending time with my baby. I am always exhausted when i get home, and he is normally grouchy and sleepy when i have the time to be with him....How do you cope?
 
Hi There,

I empathise with your situation as I am a single working mother. I had to return back to work just about full time when my husband and I seperated a year ago.

There's a feeling of sadness every time your walk out the door in the morning.

What I can say, is that you (and I) are being good role models for our children. We are independant and using our potential and that has to be inspiring for young ones growing up.

I'm making it a point to plan a fun activity or outing every weekend and at least once during the week, so no matter how tired I am, that's the one thing my daughter looks forward to and it stays with her during the week. Just seeing the smile on her face helps ease me guilt.

The one thing you'be probably heard from a thousand people is probably true; make time for yourself. When you do, you'll feel more relaxed around your child.

Best :)

Anne
 
I also found it hard to spend "quality" time with our baby during the work week even though I usually can get home at a fairly reasonable hour (6:30 pm). As you say, by then he's quite grumpy and not very responsive. But even though it's less fun, I still try to be with him (usually just holding him and talking/walking around the house - as he is too tired to want to play) just to clock in some face time.

I find that in the early morning (I'm bfing, so I wake up at 6 a.m. to nurse him) he's usually more responsive and in a better mood, so whenever I can, I'll try to play with him then. (But I usually take my cue from him as sometimes he'll want to go back to sleep afterwards, in which case I'll crawl back into bed myself!)
 
Dear AnneB and Peainpod,

Thank you very much for sharing, I will definitely try your suggestions. Your kind insights are very much appreciated.

Dear mummymoo,

Thanks, I have already looked at all the relevant threads.
 
Dear all
it's definitely tiring working and trying to be there for your baby at the same time. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one feeling as it this is almost impossible a feat to work full time with a career and be a mom to the baby at home
 
I have to say that I really enjoy working and my guilt was borne more from society pressure than anything else. As a result, for a long time I had to be "super mum" and do a 10 hour day at work, come home and do all the housework, food planning and prep and educate baby (and play)! I have to say that moving to Hong Kong was a dream for me as I got the house help I needed which made me a happier person and I got home to a clean house, a happy feed and bathed baby and all I had to do was the fun stuff of reading and putting to bed and then getting up to them during the night.

I have now decided to work from home and we will see how that goes in terms of spending quality time with my girls.
 
if you are feeling guilty, then you might want to switch careers. i worked full-time (for myself) teaching english privately. i was feeling terrible as i wasn't getting home until well after the kids were in bed.

i opened my own playgroup, have been VERY busy, and am able to take my kids to work with me. I LOVE my new business, and i look back and wonder why i didn't do it earlier!
 
I think Carang has got the right idea. If you find yourself struggling a lot, be it with guilt, lack of time for your child, it's worth rethinking your career, especially in the first few years of their life.

I understand that not everyone can, for financial reasons but if you don't need to work to support you and your family why miss out on those precious years when our kids love us unconditionally?! Plenty of time to work when they start to know better. :haha:

I run my own business, working from home 3 days a week and going into the office the remaining 2. It's perfect. Absolutely no guilt.
 
I understand that not everyone can, for financial reasons but if you don't need to work to support you and your family why miss out on those precious years when our kids love us unconditionally?!
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Totally agree with aussiegal. I thought I would give it a try (i.e. continue working after the birth of my son), but it was not working out. I HATED being just a weekend mom and I HATED being "disturbed" by clients and the office during my precious weekends (nature of the job), so I quit.

Now I run my own business and work from home most days. No regrets at all. I am very lucky to have a husband who supports what I do and with this set-up, I get to spend time with both my kids and get to work my schedule around theirs. I'm happy to be doing something I love, happy that it's something that allows me time with my kids.
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Some women can successfully balance a full-time career with motherhood --I sincerely say hats off to them. That doesn't make SAHM or WAHM any less admirable. Whatever works for you and your family, I say. :) If you are really struggling (with guilt), you need to review your options and hopefully find the right balance. Good luck.
 
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