Working mom and guilt

[spockey]

Hi Capital
I understand. My family and I are in the midst of thinking whether we should throw in the towel as far as HK is concerned and head back home. It's not an easy society to raise a family. The family values here are very different from home (Oz, where we are from).
I haven't been able to cope with the guilt even though it's been more than 3 months since we've handed our son over to the DH.
I feel like i'm missing out a lot of his life.
Congratulations to you on your decision! :yeah2

 

[oh mommy]

I was rasied by a single mother of three and by seeing her worked so hard during the day has helped me to realise how much she love us all ! A lot of my happiest childhood memories come from the quality time we spent in the weekend like a day out to the zoo or a play date with my mom. We missed her during the weekday rountine but guess what, I love my working mom just as much as any full-time mom.

I am now a working mom and I would like to give my kids the same happy memory - that every minute we spend is quality time. My helper looks after my boy during the day and we're there during the evening and the whole weekends. I don't feel too auilty cos I know by earning extra $ can go a long way for providing my kids the best education and family holiday.

 

[AnneB]

Thanks 'Oh Mommy'. You're post just eased my guilt. I'm a single mother with a 3 year old and trying to stay sane!

 

[mummymoo]

A few of my ex-colleagues said as much as they envy my current full-time mom position, they cannot afford to do so themselves. I feel sorry for them and for their kids. They are trapped by their own lifestyles.

What Zee wrote really resonates. I think that it is very easy to become trapped into a lifestyle, especially in Hong Kong. An economist article said that HK people were by far the most brand conscious in the world....and I guess that is falling into marketing's pitch....if I recall correctly, something like 30-40% of HK people own something from Gucci!

I think about the work/stay at home tension all the time, and for me part time work would be most ideal, but again the work place is not crazy about the idea, and career advancement takes a hit. It was a much more supportive environment for part time work in Australia (but then again they don't have affordable domestic helpers), bith structurally and attitudinally/culturally. I want a career for me, but I also want to be there for my little one and my husband, and there just aren't the hours in the day to be all things to all people, so therein lies the tension and the choices you must make.

With regards to money, there will never be enough, so my philosophy is, is to work out where you want your life to take you, and then that determimes the working hours for both mum and dad, and then let that determine the lifestyle. Not the other way around.....lifestyle drives the working hours which drives where your life is headed.

There is no clear nor easy answer. I still haven't sorted it all out in my own mind. Reminds me of economic trade-off theory.