Working Mamas completing master degrees with little ones underfoot
- Thread starter thanka2
- Start date
I started my doctorate a few years ago - at the beginning I was pregnant with #1 and then a couple years later had baby #2, both at the same time as a full time job. Now with baby #3 coming along - I have quit my job to focus on the babies.
I must say the degree, full time work and having kids is manageable. That is, time management is the key. Most of the classes are on evenings and homework can be done when the kids are in bed. Weekends I didn't do much, as it was family time, but having said that I took opportunity of all her naps and such to work. With baby #2 it was pretty much the same time, must say that it was a bit more challenging as #1 was getting older (2 years) and her demands were higher...no full day school, so had to arrange different activities for her within her schedule and then (at that time) my mom was around so she could really help me out - your older one is 5 so that is an "easier" age cause they will have more things to do on their "own" if you know what I mean. With #3 coming along, there is no way I can hold down all three things - full time, study and mom....especially since my 3 are (will be- #3 due August) going to below the age of 3...so I gave up my job to focus on kids and doctorate - get that out of the way!
I truly believe that you will be able to do it - like I said time management is the key and seeing that your older kid is at full day school already I'm assuming that bed times are regular so you will have your own personal time in the evening to complete your work for the degree. Your young one is only 3mths old which means that once she sleeps through the night (if she is not already) the evenings will be for your personal use too. You can do it!
You will feel guilty at first, but remember it's only a short time in the big picture and the kids, as long as they are under good care then you have nothing to worry about. I'm assuming the Masters degree is only 2 years part time...if so, time goes by even faster! Good luck !
I must say the degree, full time work and having kids is manageable. That is, time management is the key. Most of the classes are on evenings and homework can be done when the kids are in bed. Weekends I didn't do much, as it was family time, but having said that I took opportunity of all her naps and such to work. With baby #2 it was pretty much the same time, must say that it was a bit more challenging as #1 was getting older (2 years) and her demands were higher...no full day school, so had to arrange different activities for her within her schedule and then (at that time) my mom was around so she could really help me out - your older one is 5 so that is an "easier" age cause they will have more things to do on their "own" if you know what I mean. With #3 coming along, there is no way I can hold down all three things - full time, study and mom....especially since my 3 are (will be- #3 due August) going to below the age of 3...so I gave up my job to focus on kids and doctorate - get that out of the way!
I truly believe that you will be able to do it - like I said time management is the key and seeing that your older kid is at full day school already I'm assuming that bed times are regular so you will have your own personal time in the evening to complete your work for the degree. Your young one is only 3mths old which means that once she sleeps through the night (if she is not already) the evenings will be for your personal use too. You can do it!
You will feel guilty at first, but remember it's only a short time in the big picture and the kids, as long as they are under good care then you have nothing to worry about. I'm assuming the Masters degree is only 2 years part time...if so, time goes by even faster! Good luck !TheQuasimother
Registered User
Thanka2, I did it while working full time at a pretty full on job.
(1) Make sure your children are on a sleep routine. Mine are sleeping by 7-8 p.m. every night. Those precious 2-3 hours until you go to bed are the only times you'll feel vicilised enough to get through your readings. I'm not a morning person so getting up at the crack of dawn didn't work. I did this Mon-Thurs. Gave myself Fri nights off.
(2) Every Saturday and/or Sunday, get your husband to take the kids out in the afternoon/morning for about 2-3 hours to get some work done. When it got busy for me, it was both days. NEVER feel guilty about it.
(3) Readings, get them done whenever you can at work e.g. eat lunch while you read, on the train, on the bus. Get some done everyday! If you are doing it with a HK university, not to worry about it as they are far more relaxed in expectations than any other English speaking country. I've seen my colleagues get their work done at work!
(4) I wrote my papers while at work too during free periods. I teach so there's some time.
It requires planning and constantly telling yourself (REMINDING yourself) that you should not feel guilty about doing what is necessary for your career so that you can provide a better life for your kids. And, one last important thing,
(5) Find a support network of women friends who work full-time, study etc. They are going to be your lifeline. I found that meeting other women in my shoes (English speaking foreigners in HK) has helped me get through the guilt. Nobody understands it better. I'll be round the corner from you soon. So happy to put a pot of tea on for you anytime.
In about 3-6 months I will most probably be in the same boat. I'll be on my 3rd Masters. Different this time as there are 2 kids but I know it's quite easily done as long as there's teamwork at home and support.
(6) ALWAYS find time for yourself (without husband/kids) to breathe when the work/study life gets too much.
Good Luck! It's an awesome feeling once you actually accomplished it. You think to yourself. WOW! I actually managed to do it and feel after that you can pretty much do anything!
(1) Make sure your children are on a sleep routine. Mine are sleeping by 7-8 p.m. every night. Those precious 2-3 hours until you go to bed are the only times you'll feel vicilised enough to get through your readings. I'm not a morning person so getting up at the crack of dawn didn't work. I did this Mon-Thurs. Gave myself Fri nights off.
(2) Every Saturday and/or Sunday, get your husband to take the kids out in the afternoon/morning for about 2-3 hours to get some work done. When it got busy for me, it was both days. NEVER feel guilty about it.
(3) Readings, get them done whenever you can at work e.g. eat lunch while you read, on the train, on the bus. Get some done everyday! If you are doing it with a HK university, not to worry about it as they are far more relaxed in expectations than any other English speaking country. I've seen my colleagues get their work done at work!
(4) I wrote my papers while at work too during free periods. I teach so there's some time.
It requires planning and constantly telling yourself (REMINDING yourself) that you should not feel guilty about doing what is necessary for your career so that you can provide a better life for your kids. And, one last important thing,
(5) Find a support network of women friends who work full-time, study etc. They are going to be your lifeline. I found that meeting other women in my shoes (English speaking foreigners in HK) has helped me get through the guilt. Nobody understands it better. I'll be round the corner from you soon. So happy to put a pot of tea on for you anytime.
In about 3-6 months I will most probably be in the same boat. I'll be on my 3rd Masters. Different this time as there are 2 kids but I know it's quite easily done as long as there's teamwork at home and support.
(6) ALWAYS find time for yourself (without husband/kids) to breathe when the work/study life gets too much.
Good Luck! It's an awesome feeling once you actually accomplished it. You think to yourself. WOW! I actually managed to do it and feel after that you can pretty much do anything!
I started my doctorate a few years ago - at the beginning I was pregnant with #1 and then a couple years later had baby #2, both at the same time as a full time job. Now with baby #3 coming along - I have quit my job to focus on the babies.
I must say the degree, full time work and having kids is manageable. That is, time management is the key. Most of the classes are on evenings and homework can be done when the kids are in bed. Weekends I didn't do much, as it was family time, but having said that I took opportunity of all her naps and such to work. With baby #2 it was pretty much the same time, must say that it was a bit more challenging as #1 was getting older (2 years) and her demands were higher...no full day school, so had to arrange different activities for her within her schedule and then (at that time) my mom was around so she could really help me out - your older one is 5 so that is an "easier" age cause they will have more things to do on their "own" if you know what I mean. With #3 coming along, there is no way I can hold down all three things - full time, study and mom....especially since my 3 are (will be- #3 due August) going to below the age of 3...so I gave up my job to focus on kids and doctorate - get that out of the way!
I truly believe that you will be able to do it - like I said time management is the key and seeing that your older kid is at full day school already I'm assuming that bed times are regular so you will have your own personal time in the evening to complete your work for the degree. Your young one is only 3mths old which means that once she sleeps through the night (if she is not already) the evenings will be for your personal use too. You can do it!
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I know you're doing a doctorate which is totally different but could you give me an estimate of how many hours you were realistically able to dedicate to your study during the week with working FT and having two kids?
Actually, my oldest isn't 5 yet. He's only 3. He's in school half-days in the morning, takes a nap in the afternoon and then we have him in sports classes at least 2 days of the week in the later afternoon/evenings. We have a FT domestic helper who lives with us which is a huge help.
The issue is that my husband is going to be studying FT beginning in September--it's only about 8 weeks but it's very intensive so he'll be away from the house a lot. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter and hope to continue so that's another thing--pumping, breastfeeding at home--all that--plus study.
I'm not too worried about the guilt thing but thanks for the encouragement in case it sneaks up on me.
Thank God that my 3-year-old has a good sleep routine and my 3-month-old is a dream baby who sleeps through the night at least 10-12 hours every night (of course with feedings in between but she doesn't even really wake up for those--just stirs in her sleep a bit). I'm not a morning person either so I won't be getting up at sunrise to do anything.
I am so blessed that my husband's parents take my son on the weekends anyway. He goes to their house on Friday evening and then after we have our family dinner together on Sunday he comes back home so that is a HUGE help. The thing is that I actually work 1/2 days on Saturday as well so I'll have to see how that factors in. Will have to have our domestic helper spend more time with the baby on Saturday afternoon so I can focus on study then.
That's a very good tip! Will have to remember that. Nope, not studying at HKU. I decided for a distance program with an on-site practicum in the end. It seems to suit my needs better as I live so far out of the city that even going to HKU for night classes is a major undertaking--getting back here before public transport shuts down can be a problem sometimes too.
That's also a good tip. I think I can find time at work to work on papers as well.
This is really how I feel. Yes, they are young but it would better now for me to get a higher degree--better pay, more job options and stability and I'd better do it before I lose the ambition and while I have the opportunity. I think it can only benefit my family in the long-run, right?
Aw, thanks. Are you moving out here? Yes, having someone to lean on is a big thing, I think!
Third masters degree?!
Are you a glutton for punishment or what? Either that or you're just incredibly intelligent and motivated. (Probably the latter!) Had better invest in some more massage packages!
Sounds like my type of thing--maybe I'm also a glutton for punishment!
I know you're doing a doctorate which is totally different but could you give me an estimate of how many hours you were realistically able to dedicate to your study during the week with working FT and having two kids?
i've been able to do 3-4hours of work daily. Most of it is after they are both in bed and after dinner - say from 9-12mn / 1am sometimes 2am. I sneak in a nap during the day when they are off at school / play groups...it is really tough doing work during the day I must say cause I get distracted. My younger one (1yr old) naps and so sometimes I get in an extra hour or so.
Actually, my oldest isn't 5 yet. He's only 3. He's in school half-days in the morning, takes a nap in the afternoon and then we have him in sports classes at least 2 days of the week in the later afternoon/evenings. We have a FT domestic helper who lives with us which is a huge help.
Yes - we are incrediblely lucky to have them with our family too! They take care of the meals - but I must say, I only breastfed for 3mths...and after that I mixed so that I could have more time for my studies.
The issue is that my husband is going to be studying FT beginning in September--it's only about 8 weeks but it's very intensive so he'll be away from the house a lot. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter and hope to continue so that's another thing--pumping, breastfeeding at home--all that--plus study.
Perhaps you could do the "reading" part of your assignments during the day and the "writing" part of your assignments when the house is quiet (either like me when they are asleep or when they are at school - it's surprising how much work can actually be done if you are really determined and focused).
I'm not too worried about the guilt thing but thanks for the encouragement in case it sneaks up on me.[/QUOTE]
Good luck with everything!
i've been able to do 3-4hours of work daily. Most of it is after they are both in bed and after dinner - say from 9-12mn / 1am sometimes 2am. I sneak in a nap during the day when they are off at school / play groups...it is really tough doing work during the day I must say cause I get distracted. My younger one (1yr old) naps and so sometimes I get in an extra hour or so.
Actually, my oldest isn't 5 yet. He's only 3. He's in school half-days in the morning, takes a nap in the afternoon and then we have him in sports classes at least 2 days of the week in the later afternoon/evenings. We have a FT domestic helper who lives with us which is a huge help.
Yes - we are incrediblely lucky to have them with our family too! They take care of the meals - but I must say, I only breastfed for 3mths...and after that I mixed so that I could have more time for my studies.
The issue is that my husband is going to be studying FT beginning in September--it's only about 8 weeks but it's very intensive so he'll be away from the house a lot. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter and hope to continue so that's another thing--pumping, breastfeeding at home--all that--plus study.
Perhaps you could do the "reading" part of your assignments during the day and the "writing" part of your assignments when the house is quiet (either like me when they are asleep or when they are at school - it's surprising how much work can actually be done if you are really determined and focused).
I'm not too worried about the guilt thing but thanks for the encouragement in case it sneaks up on me.
[/QUOTE]Good luck with everything!
TheQuasimother
Registered User
I am currently negotiating terms with the landlord. If he agrees, we will be round the corner.
Third masters degree?!
I would like to think the latter but really, I think the former. LOL! I'm a stress junkie.
You can do this! Here for a good wine, whine or whinge if you need!