When Does Breastfeeding Stop "Sucking" ?

[thanka2]

Pun Intended.

Anyway...

Breastfeeding my second child who is two-weeks-old today. Breastfeeding with the first was a complete nightmare start-to-finish (which was about six months). There were a lot of factors that played into this--one of which was the personality of my first child. The personality of the second child really seems to be a lot different--especially in the fact that she is a lot more mellow and tolerant.

I've told myself that this time I'm giving it eight weeks and if at that point I feel that the breastfeeding situation isn't working itself out then I'm just going to go with formula because it definitely is not worth the stress and discomfort. I almost lost my mind over breastfeeding the first go around and in hindsight wish I had gone to formula feeding sooner.

My question is for those who have breastfed long-term (at least 6 months). At what point could you say that you felt comfortable with breastfeeding--meaning no more cracked, sore nipples; no more engorgement or infection problems--basically that you could breastfeed without feeling discomfort. I'm really curious to know.

Also, thought this website was interesting.

 

[banane76]

I think it took me about a month into it...my baby had trouble with latching and I got Hulda from Annerley to come in straight away to help me and with some perseverance, we finally got it! I did about 7.5 months of breastfeeding and stopped because I had to when I got pregnant again and had to be on some medications. By that time, I enjoyed the time together with my baby girl and I missed it more than she did. I'm expecting again any day now though so will see how this time goes. Good luck and I'm sure you'll be better at it this time.

 

[carey]

This is a good thread. I would really like to hear from other's expereince.

I don't have answer for it because breastfeeding did not work out for my first and I went exclusively pumping for 7 month. We are expecting our second in less than one month time. I have been reading a lot about bfing again although I know no amount of reading will prepare me for what is to come.

I am just hoping that my second would be mellower. Good luck with your effort thanka2.

 

[carang]

guess i was really lucky. it all came naturally to both of my babies and to myself. although, i will say that i had a HUGE milk supply that was not shy of making itself known... my dogs would whimper and i would have a let down! showering became a very difficult task as the warm water would cause a let down, then when i had to dry myself, i had to do it very carefully as i "leaked" everywhere...

to be honest, it was quite funny when i would latch either of my babies as the milk would come so fast and furious, my kids would come off the breast and get the milk in the nose, in their hair, heck... the milk would squirt across the room!! (not joking! milk got EVERYWHERE!)

 

[pixelelf]

with my first born, he was breastfed till 2.5 years old. but we had many problems throughout. latching, inverted nipple, infection, biting, mastisis, freq night wakings... everything looking back i wonder how i did it really.

with my 2nd baby, it's been really good. no big problems except too much milk as usual and a gassy baby. she's 4 months now and finally the gas is well coped
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[nicolejoy]

For me, the first time it took about 4-6 weeks for the initial discomfort etc to decrease. After that it wasn't always EASY and I had minor mastitis a couple of times and thrush really badly once which nearly led to me weaning her right there and then... but we kept it up for 15 months and overall, I would describe the overall experience as "easy with some rough patches"

Second time around, I was exclusively pumping from day 1 and the whole experience was completely different - but still difficult probably for the first 3-4 weeks. I wasn't really expecting to get the whole sore nipple thing all over again, I though I'd toughened up by then! But it was still sore and cracked etc at first. In a lot of ways though, this time around has been both easier and harder than the first time. I think being more experienced, I know when I get blocked ducts and I clear them RIGHT away so I don't have those issues. But on the downside, pumping takes a lot more time because you have to do that on TOP of feeding the baby. It also took a lot of hard work in the first few months to establish my supply. My daughter is now 8 months old and is still drinking 100% breastmilk. I'm only pumping twice a day to supply all her needs (and then some!) But it was hard work to be able to get to this stage...

I applaud you for giving it a go again, even though you had a bad experience last time! Many women that I know didn't even ATTEMPT it if it didn't work first time, so I think you're brave to try again I think that if you stick it out for eight weeks and it hasn't started to improve by then, you've already given your little one the benefit of 8 weeks of breastmilk and it may be better for her AND you long term to wean then... but good on you for giving it a go!!

 

[zyxwv]

Had similar experience with #1. Lasted almost 7 months but it was miserable - mastitis that didn't respond to antibiotics, resulting abscess and surgery, and after that it was an exhausting mix of pumping, attempting to direct feed and topping up with formula.

This time around, I vowed that I would go right to exclusive pumping if direct feeding was as much of a challenge (though from Nicolejoy's post, that isn't exactly a walk in the park either).

Miraculously, it has been pretty easy and we are at 5 mos and 3 weeks. Latching was painful at first but thankfully, no bleeding. On the recommendation of a friend who was still breastfeeding at almost 2 years, I used the Medela breast shields for the first few weeks and used the Lansinoh gel religiously before and after every feed - now I rarely use it.

I have had two minor bouts of mastitis. The first was @1 month and I went immediately to the OB the morning I got it and it went away quickly. My lactation consultant thought the breast shields could be a contributor so I stopped using them at this time. (for what it's worth, the friend who recommended them never had mastitis and also has the same lactation consultant as me). I just had another minor bout a couple of weeks ago. This was a big surprise to me and OB, but I went on antibiotics immediately and it went away again very quickly.

I haven't pumped at all and that may present it's own challenges if I truly need to have someone else give my daughter a bottle. So far, the scheduling hassles have been worth not having to juggle pumping time on top of everything else. More importantly, I think that consistently direct feeding is what has made it work well for me this time.

Good luck! Apologies for long post!
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[banane76]

Just get help as soon as you need, is all I can say. I pumped and breastfed. It's a lot of work, but I found it was worth it for my baby. It's not for everyone and no mother should be guilted into it. It was my choice to be able to breastfeed even though it took lots of work and help from a lactation consultant but I'm so glad I was able to do it because I know some moms aren't able to for whatever reason. It doesn't help that the laws here only give moms 10 weeks in total for mat leave which isn't very encouraging of moms to breastfeed.

 

[thanka2]

Good to hear everyone's experience. Thanks for sharing.

See, with my first child, I really did get help--from the very beginning--I saw a lactation consultant at least twice a week for six weeks straight in the beginning. Stayed in touch with the lactation consultant. Inquired with LLL. I bought a high-quality breast pump. I used breast shields. I should buy stock in Lansinoh because I went through a lot of that stuff too. Baby and I were treated for thrush but don't think that was actually the problem because it didn't improve things. I used soothies, ice packs, heat packs, cabbage leaves, gentian violet, c-nipple cream (the REALLY EXPENSIVE all-purpose nipple cream--it's about $200 USD for a prescription!) and a vast array of other traditional and home remedies as well as supplements and diet changes. NOTHING made it better. I ended up pumping a lot and direct feeding at nighttime. Baby's latch was not the problem.

I've just decided that my mental health is a very worthwhile resource that my family and I actually need to keep a priority so if it's a toss-up between my own health and some benefits my baby may get from breastmilk, I have to choose the former because it's simply the better choice overall for my family--I have people who depend on me being happy and healthy--my husband, son and baby so I've got 5 1/2 more weeks left for this to all get worked out or it's formula for us. Praise God that formula is actually an option nowadays as 100 years ago we would have been up a creek without a paddle!

 

[Shenzhennifer]

First one took 6-8 weeks to get established and the first 4 were awful. The same problems started with the second one but it took less time to mellow out more. She's 2 months now and though isn't perfect at breastfeeding, she seems to be thriving so I kinda just stick her on and hope for the best at this point. I feed on demand so there's a lot of just sticking her on during the day and letting her figure it out
I'm going to breastfeed until she self weans like with her brother. I hate bottles and formula. Pumping is a huge chore too. Breastfeeding is just too easy for us.

 

[littlesunshine2]

I recall three weeks of horror and pain, to the point that my mum (who never bf any of her four kids) told me to give it up and start on formula. That was the biggest motivator, to proof to her that I could do. The next couple of weeks were hard but at around 16 weeks my dd rolled on her side and we both could happily lie down side by side; dd would drink, I would sleep. from that point it was easy. I bf her for nearly 21 months. I'm now pregnant again and hope that I'll have a similar experience with the second one.

 

[southside852]

I bfed my first for 4 months and it was the longest 4 months of my life. i can honestly said i dreaded doing it every day for 4 months. my milk also was delayed coming in b/c i was so stressed about it. it took a week after my son was born to have him latch on properly. i was at the hospital every day working with their lactation consultant. the entire time i bfed i was running on low battery and was so stressed about every feed. plus my first had reflux so we supplemented with formula. the day stopped nursing my first, felt like a huge weight had been lifted for both of us! it felt great!

i just finished nursing my 2nd after almost 6 months. i am actually so proud of myself for keeping with it this time. i didn't supplement with formula this time around and pumped 80% of the time and nursed directly 3 times a day. it was soooooo much easier for me the 2nd time around. i think i was just more relaxed and more confident in my parenting abilities. i felt like i knew how to nurse right from the start and i wasn't stressed.

i think for the majority of mothers, breastfeeding is really hard and requires perseverance and the belief that you can do it. No one tells you how hard it is and I applaud those who breastfeed for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year. It's all really amazing. No mother should feel guilty about not breastfeeding - it's not for everyone and some medically just can't.

 

[thanka2]

the day stopped nursing my first, felt like a huge weight had been lifted for both of us! it felt great!

Totally the same feeling!

It's all really amazing. No mother should feel guilty about not breastfeeding - it's not for everyone and some medically just can't.

And in my case, I'm the mother who also "mentally" couldn't do it.

 

[Biggie]

It was difficult with my first for the first 4-6 weeks. I also had low supply. Then I became more relaxed about supplementing with formula and baby was on half bf half formula.
Second baby is easier (3 mth old now). He latch on from day 1, only a bit of cracking nipple during first week. But still take me 6-8 week to establish supply. I think it's a combination of baby being better eater, and me being more experienced.
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[thanka2]

Good Article

 

[southside852]

I am also sadden when I hear stories of mother's who tell me other mothers look at them as if they are crazy for not breastfeeding or midwives who give them a look of disappointment when they decide to switch fully to formula or when they go to support groups for new moms and everyone is breastfeeding, but them. You should not be made to feel horrible for not breastfeeding during a time that is so overwhelming to begin with....Bringing a child into this world is a feat in itself. If not breastfeeding means you'll be a better mom, then so be it!

The bottom line is that no one knows your actual story for not breastfeeding whether it's medical, mental or it's just too hard. Tons of babies are formula-fed and are doing just fine .

 

[taysty]

Thank you southside852! What you said makes my day! I hope everyone or generally public thinks like you really.
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[Koan]

It took about 7 weeks. The first few weeks were truly horrible. I cried all day long and had toe curling pain the whole time he nursed, which was of course about 18 hours a day LOL! We had all the common problems, latch issues, engorgement, fatigue, baby blues, etc. It sucked. I desperately wanted to quit but knew that if I could get through the beginning it WOULD get better. Why else do people nurse for so long if it's that dreadful? My mother nursed me until I was 2.5 and always talked about it so happily so I knew it couldn't stay sucky forever.

And it didn't. This will pass and it will get better. You may not ever love it, but it won't hurt forever, it won't be hard work forever. And maybe, just maybe, you'll love it too!

Let me know if you need anything, thanka2.

 

[thanka2]

It took about 7 weeks. The first few weeks were truly horrible. I cried all day long and had toe curling pain the whole time he nursed, which was of course about 18 hours a day LOL! We had all the common problems, latch issues, engorgement, fatigue, baby blues, etc. It sucked. I desperately wanted to quit but knew that if I could get through the beginning it WOULD get better. Why else do people nurse for so long if it's that dreadful? My mother nursed me until I was 2.5 and always talked about it so happily so I knew it couldn't stay sucky forever.

And it didn't. This will pass and it will get better. You may not ever love it, but it won't hurt forever, it won't be hard work forever. And maybe, just maybe, you'll love it too!

Let me know if you need anything, thanka2.

But my experience is that it doesn't pass and it doesn't get better and all the expert advice and consultation doesn't help either (in my case, I mean--I know plenty of women who have been helped a lot by experts in this area). I mean, I put up with it and still had that toe-curling pain and discomfort for SIX MONTHS and I still kept with it because I told myself every day that it would get better and I kept asking for help and going to lactation consultants and doctors and we tried everything (probably things that most breastfeeding moms aren't even aware of) and it just never got better. So, I think I'm just one of those cases where breastfeeding might not be the best option.

The thing is that people who do nurse long-term are able to get over the physical problems within a reasonable amount of time (unless they're like me--stubborn and I guess a glutton for punishment in some ways as well). That's why I've given myself 8 weeks--it's a reasonable amount of time--and after that I have to go back to work full-time. From my past experience--stress isn't very conducive as well to breastfeeding/pumping so if the situation is still not working out I can't see myself stressing at work about it on top of the day-to-day stress of work. And especially not with an older child to take care of the same time. There is only so much one person can give before they really start to go crazy.

 

[nicolejoy]

You know with my 2nd, I was unable to nurse directly - for one, she was in NICU on a feeding tube for four months so she lost all her reflexes, even teaching her to drink from a special bottle which requires no sucking action was a huge chore! And for two, she has a cleft palate so she has very little suction as it is, definitely not enough to nurse. I made the decision to pump for her - and still I've had some people ask me "Why aren't you NURSING her!?!?!" (not really as a question, more as an accusation!!) - I can't believe the audacity of some people when they don't even KNOW the situation. I would have done ANYTHING to be able to nurse my 2nd daughter and I have made a HUGE commitment with pumping, but there are still people out there who want to make you feel guilty about it. Ignore them all, I say