What's wrong with me?

H

Hunter

Registered User
It's a shame to start this post. Yet I really need a vent to release my stress.

I've been out of job for a year by now. The current financial tsunami and the coming of the swine flu make my heart shiver to ever think about the future. I am so scared and worried. I need a job to sustain a better life for my son. He is a smart kid, and as a mother, my heart breaks that I can not give him the good things in life. Guilt and fear are killing me everyday. I am a marketing professional with good language skills. I am a very capable person. I really have no idea why getting a job can be this tough.

I really need a marketing job to sustain life and dignity.
 
Hi Hunter,
You wrote that you are worried that you can't give your son "the good things in life". If you are giving your baby lots of love, cuddles and attention then he is certainly getting the good things in life already and he is a very luckly little baby!

I am a working mum and I feel guilty that I don't spend as much time with my son as a non working mum! I think that when you have a baby the doctor secretly inserts a "guilty chip" into your brain to make you feel bad whatever you do...

Regarding the job market - it's really tough at the moment and you might just have to wait until things turn around. Not positive I know but true..
 
hey - don't worry! i just found out that my contract is not being renewed....so, i'll be out of a job in about 6 weeks time! worried...yes, sad....yes, and like you i really want to get a job back so that i can provide for my kid. Like you I'm anxious, but I've done all I can do...send my CVs to different companies....my fate is not in my own hands, in a sense, but, that's life. i am now at the stage where i am looking forward to spending more time with my daughter...i'll probably be spending less on myself so that my daughter can go to her classes, etc. but hey, that's worth it! Stay positive! I'm trying to too! And no...don't be ashamed! Writing things down and sharing them with people is the BEST form of therapy! After which you can move forward and enjoy the extra time you have with your kid!
 
Well, it is certainly a gift from God to have our son. I love him with all my heart and soul. He is the one who has kept me going to the positive direction when most of the time I tend to drift downstream.

Yes, I can have more time to spend with my boy. I can give him tons of love and tender. He is a very happy and smart child. I sometimes really thank God for that. But because he is so smart, I feel guilty that I may hamper his future by the lack of resources to nurture him, such as going to a better school, taking more interest classes, getting good but expensive education materials, etc.

My case is different. We need dual income to keep things rolling in the family. I have done everything I can to get a job. As Leslie, I am sending my CV to different companies, but sadly, no reply. :(

keep my fingers crossed.
 
In this market you need to branch out. Marketing roles are one of the first to go so it might be unlikely you will find a job in such a role in the near future. What else can you do? Where else can you apply your skills?
 
Hunter. My positive thoughts go out to you. I can only hope that things pick up soon and you will get snapped up!
 
Hi Hunter,
Right now it's a tough time for almost everyone. Many have lost their jobs; those who are staying either have no payrise/bonus or suffering from a paycut...For those who are trying to go back to the work force like myself it's even tougher, because many multi-national coys are either having hiring freeze(don't think it's been lifted despite some speculations that it should be around Apr-May), or they are being super selective in terms of recruitment---almost feel like they want the perfect match for their requirements. I've been to a few second interviews but still waiting for ANY outcome...

Have you tried to talk to a recruitment agency to represent you? They can bring job opportunities to you(often pretty decent ones as they tend to deal with big companies). Most companies who interviewed me complained about me not speaking Cantonese. Yet you have very good language skills needed for your job. Just keep trying. NEVER give up trying. As others suggested, the economy will turn around. It's just a matter of time. Stay positive.

You will be able to give your son nice things sooner or later. I don't want to try to convince you what you are giving your son now(love, tender and care) is better than any material things...(but it's true). He doesn't need too many 'good' things now since he's still very young. You will get a good job later, then you can shower him with whatever you want him to have.

GOOD LUCK with your job hunting!
 
as others have said, it is not the "things" that you give a child that matters, it's the time, the love, the commitment that a child will remember as they get older. chances are your child will not remember that book that cost you $300 or the class that he took when he was 2 years old rather he will remember the time you took to read to him every night, all the times you blew bubbles while he sat in the bathtub, the times that he "helped" you cook dinner, the quiet times sitting and watching tv together, how you used to catch him when he came down the slide... or my own personal memory of my mum....when my brother or i were sick to our stomachs, sitting in front of the toilet, my mum would sit on the side of the tub and rub our backs. my brother and i recently discussed this memory (we both have the same memory) and we agreed that to this day we this is what we miss MOST from our childhood!!!
 
ps.... just to clarify... it's not the being sick we miss most, rather our mum rubbing our backs...just in case that wasn't clear! LOL!
 
Carang, I agree with you totally. In fact, I found my kids get bored of any 'expensive' toys fairly easily; a piece of wooden/plastic bowl or spoon will keep them happy for longer...
 
very true, carang. my favorite memory from childhood also from playing in the park with my dad on th weekend & mommy rubbing my back when i had very bad rash.

i agree that the best in life need not be expensive. but true, too Hunter, we want to provide "the best" to our kids, which a lot of the time, cost quite a bit. but it's "the best" in our point of view, not in the child's. we're lucky to be in HK< when we have coupons for kindergartens fees & free education (i don't know if you qualify, though), and public playrooms & parks & playgrounds that are free.

the economy is bad, I think you're not alone. most of us has to cut down now. but perhaps you can try to find other jobs other than marketing. maybe freelance writing?
 
thanks for the heart-warming sharings. I feel very much better now. Thanks to Geobaby.com for such a nice platform.

I agree with all of you that the love and tender of a mother is the most unforgettable momery of a child. When I am thinking positively, I really cherish the time being a full time mommy. The close bonding between my boy and I is undeniably priceless. Today, when I peel the skin of a pear for him, he stood next to me and gently said, "mommy, be careful, don't cut your fingers, remember!" and he said the same thing when I stood on a chair to reach something high above, but of course asked me not to fall. gosh! my heart melt with joy when I heard that. I am really proud of my boy, sorry to keep bragging about him :).

When I mentioned the good things in life, I didn't mean to get him all expensive things, yeah, maybe some educational materials which are too expensive to afford. but to enroll him into different classes needs a certain amount of monthly spending, and this is now being difficult. Right now it is the right age to develop his interests and skills, and at this age, they pick up things so quickly. but without the resources to further nurture him, he may end up being less competitive among his peers. as a mommy, i will have to take full responsibility for that.

I am very fine to be a freelance writer, in fact it can be my dream job. but just that I don't have the channels and connections.
 
hunter, where in hk do you live? i run a playgroup and although we are pretty much full, i may be able to fit your boy in (at a discount...but don't tell anyone!)
 
Hunter, dont know if this is your cup of tea or if youve applied already but Invest HK is looking for a marketing professional. If you havent already done so, you may want to take a look at their website. Best of luck!
 
I'm not illiterate, by the way. I just have a problem with my pc so can't always get the apostrophes in!!!! :)
 
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