What is wrong with people here?
- Thread starter JoyousBaby
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missprincepessa
Registered User
I have noticed this alot in Hong Kong. People are not cultured to look out for other people in crowds..it's awful but true. But, it happens EVERYWHERE. I was pregnant in Sydney and soooooo many times no one would give me a seat on the bus or the train...or even huff and puff at me as i waddled towards them as if i was in their way!!! One day 2 young school girls were sitting on the disabled/pregnant seat on a bus and i asked really nicely for them to move. Instead of moving, one just slightly moved over but didnt leave a seat for me. So i sat on her. I was really heavy too, so it would have hurt. I find in life you just have to bite back. For instance, the other day i had a trolley full of groceries and a child, and my very pregnant belly trying to get in a lift full of people who could easily have taken the escalator but chose to ride the lift instead. I of course could not take the escalator with a trolley. My only choice was to push the trolley in and squeeze in around them..even if it meant squished toes. You have to be tough to get what you need in this city.
So very, very true. Most disturbing is those working in the food service industry--I rarely see them wash their hands--they come in their uniform and leave without washing--I've been tempted a few times to go talk to their boss. Eeek.
erina320
Registered User
I have to say, I am on the opposite end of the spectrum here. I live in Tung Chung as well and I find that more often than not people are falling over themselves to help me with the doors into Citygate when I have the stroller. Granted it's a double stroller and maybe they think I can't manage by myself, but I have it down to an art form getting through the doors by myself and sometimes they actually end up hindering me rather than helping me. Still I find the people around TC to be very polite and helpful, with the occasional jerk of course, but you get that everywhere.
My pet peeve when I have the stroller... what is up with young, able-bodied adults using the elevator to go up one floor when the escalator would be much faster for them? I can't understand why they'll wait forever for a lift with elderly people, wheelchairs and strollers to go up ONE FLOOR!
Agree with Carang though, they walk so slow and meandering that sometimes I think they're falling asleep!
My pet peeve when I have the stroller... what is up with young, able-bodied adults using the elevator to go up one floor when the escalator would be much faster for them? I can't understand why they'll wait forever for a lift with elderly people, wheelchairs and strollers to go up ONE FLOOR!
Agree with Carang though, they walk so slow and meandering that sometimes I think they're falling asleep!
People here should stop freaking about touching the door nobs, elevator button ect and worry about the hygiene of the food they eat! Many people eat at renown 'street' restaurants or grotty looking restaurants with gusto (with staff who don't wash their hands and marginal dish washing facilities - I have even seen them washing out of huge plastic tubs not connected to a drain or tap) yet can't stand the thought of touching a door knob 'forcing' them to squeeze in front of a pregnant lady with a stroller and toddler - sure that makes sense!!?!?!?!?!?
I'm with Licorice and Erina here. Sometimes I get rude people -- I got really angry at two teens who pushed in front of me and the baby pram at Kowloon Station, then yelled insults at me when I asked them to wait in line. And people are in that very strange state of being both very in a rush and walking very slow.
But I'd say that 80% of the time, people are nice. Or, at least they are not mean-spirited. I got offered MTR seats when I was pregnant. If I wasn't, I'd ask nicely, and then I'd get a seat. People generally hold doors open when they see me with the baby. In fact, people often stop to coo or chat with her.
And I see it with others, too. Today, on the Tung Chung line at Olympic station, I saw some people get up to give a seat to an old lady with a cane.
I'm not laying blame, but it could also be your own behavior. My Western husband can be quite brisk -- and when people DON'T open the door or make room in the lift for the stroller, he will loudly complain about them, which just makes them mad, and then everyone is rude. (We had an unfortunate argument with a Chinese auntie type over getting in to an MTR elevator).
I also have two Western lady friends who are quite snooty to HK cabbies, always lecturing them about their manners, complaining about traffic and the city -- and they say they always get rude drivers. But I rarely get rude drivers. So I wonder if it's a two-way street.
I can be quite sarcastic personally. But I hold the sarcasm in check in public. Trust me. It just doesn't work here.
It could also be because I'm a Cantonese speaking Chinese person. I have no idea.
But I dislike these threads where it just sounds like a bunch of expats complaining about how "those people" are so rude.
My whole wonderful family are Chinese, and they always give way to babies, the pregnant and the elderly.
But I'd say that 80% of the time, people are nice. Or, at least they are not mean-spirited. I got offered MTR seats when I was pregnant. If I wasn't, I'd ask nicely, and then I'd get a seat. People generally hold doors open when they see me with the baby. In fact, people often stop to coo or chat with her.
And I see it with others, too. Today, on the Tung Chung line at Olympic station, I saw some people get up to give a seat to an old lady with a cane.
I'm not laying blame, but it could also be your own behavior. My Western husband can be quite brisk -- and when people DON'T open the door or make room in the lift for the stroller, he will loudly complain about them, which just makes them mad, and then everyone is rude. (We had an unfortunate argument with a Chinese auntie type over getting in to an MTR elevator).
I also have two Western lady friends who are quite snooty to HK cabbies, always lecturing them about their manners, complaining about traffic and the city -- and they say they always get rude drivers. But I rarely get rude drivers. So I wonder if it's a two-way street.
I can be quite sarcastic personally. But I hold the sarcasm in check in public. Trust me. It just doesn't work here.
It could also be because I'm a Cantonese speaking Chinese person. I have no idea.
But I dislike these threads where it just sounds like a bunch of expats complaining about how "those people" are so rude.
My whole wonderful family are Chinese, and they always give way to babies, the pregnant and the elderly.
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I've never really encountered any problems with rudeness here. The able bodied people in the elevators annoy me sometimes but apart from that it is fine. When I have been on the bus on my own with two kids and buggy, people have carried the buggy off the bus for me, held doors open, stopped to chat to the kids etc. Bus drivers have told me which stop to get off when I have not been sure, taxi drivers who don't understand me just phone the office and I speak to them in english to work out where we are going!
When I was pregnant I never had trouble getting a seat. When I was 8 months pregnant I was on the MTR from central to TST. At that stage in my pregnancy, sitting on those seats was really uncomfortable so I preferred to stand. When I got on MTR a local man who was carrying a huge bag offered me his seat but I declined. At Admiralty a woman got on, saw me standing, took out her phone to call a friend (she was american). She started shouting at the top of her voice that a heavily pregnant woman was being forced to stand while this man would not offer his seat. She didn't bother to ask me if I had been offered one, just made a fool of herself and the poor man who had offered the seat. I calmly explained this to her before getting off the train. The poor man will probably never sit on the train again.... he seemed mortified.
When I was pregnant I never had trouble getting a seat. When I was 8 months pregnant I was on the MTR from central to TST. At that stage in my pregnancy, sitting on those seats was really uncomfortable so I preferred to stand. When I got on MTR a local man who was carrying a huge bag offered me his seat but I declined. At Admiralty a woman got on, saw me standing, took out her phone to call a friend (she was american). She started shouting at the top of her voice that a heavily pregnant woman was being forced to stand while this man would not offer his seat. She didn't bother to ask me if I had been offered one, just made a fool of herself and the poor man who had offered the seat. I calmly explained this to her before getting off the train. The poor man will probably never sit on the train again.... he seemed mortified.
Would also like to add that I don't think that it's anything to do with being an only child. All the families in our building have 2 kids or more, and a lot of them are rude brats - but there are a few who are polite and friendly.
My son is also an only child (not through our choice) and he has also had manners drummed into him, is willing to share and is a considerate playmate. Friends have even commented on it. It's a shame it seems to be so unique (that it gets commented on) for Western or Asian only children.
My son is also an only child (not through our choice) and he has also had manners drummed into him, is willing to share and is a considerate playmate. Friends have even commented on it. It's a shame it seems to be so unique (that it gets commented on) for Western or Asian only children.
I also sometimes gets help from people here, like when I was carrying baby and stroller up some stairs, getting off a bus etc. Most mini bus and taxi drivers are also quite patient with us. But again, I never "expect" help so when I get help it's a nice surprise. I believe that no one has any obligation to help you. And I usually avoid rush hours that helps too.
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I think Biggie said it best. HK is a big city, where there are huge crowds of people in a rush. It's not that they are out to be rude, but it's a fast-placed metropolis of 7 million.
If you go around presuming or demanding that everyone is going to help you, you are bound to be disappointed.
If you go around your business, and are pleased and appreciative when people DO help you, that makes life easier.
If you arrive here with stereotypes about what "those locals" are like -- if you keeping reinforcing to yourself that everyone here is a rude awful person, then you will probably see the worst in people.
If you go around presuming or demanding that everyone is going to help you, you are bound to be disappointed.
If you go around your business, and are pleased and appreciative when people DO help you, that makes life easier.
If you arrive here with stereotypes about what "those locals" are like -- if you keeping reinforcing to yourself that everyone here is a rude awful person, then you will probably see the worst in people.
I think it depends a lot on where you live in Hong Kong. My parents-in-law live in Shau Kei Wan. It's a slower, more laid-back part of Hong Kong. One of my older Chinese co-workers told me that he considers it "old Hong Kong" and people are much more polite there than where we live in the Western New Territories. I have a friend who is moving from Tin Shui Wai to Tai Po and was really amazed at the difference in vibe and attitude between people in TSW and TP when they were house hunting. She felt that TP was a much more friendly place than TSW. So, there are definitely different feelings between communities in Hong Kong. I've run into a lot of dangerous taxi drivers in our area but when we get really good ones--ones that drive slowly and cautiously we always tip them generously and let them know the reason why. We want to encourage the behavior we want to see and we know that many of the taxi drivers serve the same area for a long time out here. I think that sometimes it's important to hold people to account for their behavior--especially those who are responsible for our safety (drivers) and I have reported dangerous drivers in the past.
I don't know. if I'm out and about on my own, then no, I don't expect special treatment, BUT I do think it is a sign of a progressive and compassionate society if people routinely help the aged, disabled or those struggling with children.....being a massive metropolis is no excuse for apathy.
Gracey by your own account when you are out with hubby you encounter self fishiness but it bothers him but not you. The fact that you don't expect help and if it happens you're pleasantly surprised doesn't make the behavior right, you've just lowered your own expectations and so you don't get annoyed when people don't help. Still that does not make a person who sees another person struggling Either through not reaching out and helping or grasping an opportunity to push by them correct.
Also I made the point that expats can sometimes display the same or worse behavior.
Gracey by your own account when you are out with hubby you encounter self fishiness but it bothers him but not you. The fact that you don't expect help and if it happens you're pleasantly surprised doesn't make the behavior right, you've just lowered your own expectations and so you don't get annoyed when people don't help. Still that does not make a person who sees another person struggling Either through not reaching out and helping or grasping an opportunity to push by them correct.
Also I made the point that expats can sometimes display the same or worse behavior.
I think also the majority of posters on this forum have found much to love about Hong Kong, irrespective of whatever stereotypes they arrived with, however the complete apathy of the people here towards the aged, disabled and people with children is not one of them. I think as a society we should EXPECT help for this group and not just think of it as a nice bonus when and if it happens.
Reading the last post I think some of this could be attributed to cultural difference. Lots of Chinese doesn't like to be "helped". You read stories about elderly who would rather pick cans and bottles than be on welfare. And I have seen old ladies refusing to accept help to carry or move things because they can do so themselves. Help is sometimes interpreted as "pity" by some people.
Just another angle to consider...
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Just another angle to consider...
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I really don't think that those people who are walking with canes or using wheelchairs mind if people just let them get on the lift in front of them. I don't think it's a matter of "I don't want people to take pity on me." Because the lift is designed for their use first and foremost and others' second. I've rarely seen a person (any person, old, young, pregnant, disabled, able-bodied) put up too much of a fight when offered a seat on the MTR--some of the older people will refuse but usually it's because they're getting off at the next stop. They might "fake refuse" to be polite if you insist a little bit they will certainly sit down with a smile. Everyone likes to be catered for--especially those who really should be catered for. Why else would there be courtesy seats marked in bright red with a yellow smiley-face on the MTR? Common courtesy is not "charity"--in the same way that we know to say "dou jie" or "mmgoy" in the right circumstances we should also know how to treat those around us.
JoyousBaby
Registered User
Yes agree with thanka.. Just the other day I was at the elevator there was this old man in his wheelchair with a helper and a lady with pram, with whole family in toll.. After looking at that I was expecting to take the 2nd or 3rd lift. When the elevator arrived, the lady n whole family rushed in and poor old man n his helper stood there helplessly. I looked at my husband in disbelief.
There came another family of 4 and was telling myself if these people gonna rush thru us n that old man I'm going to tell them off. The moment elevator arrived my husband rushed to the door n quickly waved to the helper to get the old man in and while he was doing that I used the pram to block the crowd from rushing in.
I feel disgusted, why do we need to even fight over elevators? told my husband, in order to stay happy I rather stay indoor he says I'm just being exaggerating!
In fact I'm happy with everything just not people so insensitive.
There came another family of 4 and was telling myself if these people gonna rush thru us n that old man I'm going to tell them off. The moment elevator arrived my husband rushed to the door n quickly waved to the helper to get the old man in and while he was doing that I used the pram to block the crowd from rushing in.
I feel disgusted, why do we need to even fight over elevators? told my husband, in order to stay happy I rather stay indoor he says I'm just being exaggerating!
In fact I'm happy with everything just not people so insensitive.