Weight Gain / Unsupportive Husband

S

Sunbun

Registered User
I have recently entered my second trimester. I am already slightly over weight and very worried about weight gain during pregnancy. I'm doing my best to eat nutritiously however I tend to grab quick and easy things to eat (microwavable or packaged) when I'm having my starving/nauseus moments. I get really panicky because I know that if I don't put something in my mouth NOW then I'm going to throw up! From what I've read, overweight women should only gain between 15-25 pounds and so far I've only gained a few.

My husband has not been very supportive in this area and does not understand why I don't snack on carrot sticks when I'm hungry!! We've had several conversations with people lately (we've just told our news to everyone) and many of our friends who've been pregnant have shared funny stories of cravings and the need for sweets. Also, I have pointed out some websites for my husband to look at, however he JUST DOES NOT ACCEPT that I need to eat more and don't feel well with just carrots in my stomach!!

Has anyone else had these problems with their partner?? How can I educate him into being supportive?

Any advice welcome!
 
When I was pregnant and craved for food, I had ginger candy, soda crackers and milk based drink. I controlled my weight gain quite well until one month before my delivery when I felt really hungry and started eating a lot more. People are saying microwave food causes cancer so better avoid it. Keep in stock of healthier food and snacks so you have them handy.

As for educating an supportive husband, don't expect he will change and become more understanding. My husband is very unsupportive when it comes to work and helper issues. This ends up with us comparing with the other husbands and wives we've seen, which doesn't solve the problem. Better seek support with moms of similar backgrounds,or a specialised mom-support group, only moms understand and can give you advice. In your case, you may ask your husband to go with you to your doctor or gyn and ask for his/her advice on nutrition and weight gaining. :gl:
 
Sunbun,

Remind your husband you are eating for two! Rather than focus on how much you're eating perhaps you can convince him to go for walks with you and help you stay fit during your pregnancy? You have to eat, but remember to eat healthy. A woman I met, worked till the very end of her pregnancy and had very little energy at the end of the day to cook dinner. She ate fast food quite often and her baby was borh with a number of eating and developmental problems. I'm no expert so I don't know if its related, but if you can, avoid Macdonalds and Burger King when pregnant.

Rani
 
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Have you told him how you feel?

Let him know you feel very unsupported by him; that when he makes adverse comments about how you are eating while pregnant, it hurts you. Let him know that it is hard enough to have your body going through all these changes without him telling you to eat %$!! carrots. Maybe ask him to help out by lovingly preparing you healthy and delicious meals and snacks, making a positive contribution to your health and the health of bb2b?

I think Ranis suggestion about walks and time spent togther is also good.

I hope things improve.
 
I didn't have an unsupportive husband when I was pregnant, although he jokingly commented on my weight gain from time to time. But I did have an unsupportive gyne who said I am far to fat everytime I saw him. Honestly, who cares what they think, I felt good eating when I wanted to, craved for funny food which I laughed about with my friends, felt satisfying that me and my baby inside are both healthy...who cares what they think. As long as you and your baby are healthy, they can think all they want.
 
my hubby was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO supportive when i was preggers.....

some of the doctors that i saw though continually made comments about how fat i was...(i went through the public system).... what was surprising was that i had such awful morning sickness that i lost over 20 lbs and was only 4.5 lbs heavier when i gave birth at 37 weeks than when i got pregnant!

it got to the point that a more senior doctor told me that if i ever get pregnant again and the same thing starts to happen then i should ask to speak to a senior doctor and explain the situation... they will either (a) admit me to hospital to feed me via IV or (b) give me medication so that i can eat!
 
Congratulation for your pregnancy. I love being pregnant. Sad to hear about unsuppportive husband. Don't be sad you should enjoy your pregnancy. I was gained more than I expected when I was pregnant (I dunno in lbs but almost 19 kg) and I was HUGE never imagined in my life I will be that big. I was craved with French Toast (I've even made it by myself) and like sweets too. My husband was OK with my weight gain eventho asked me how I will lost it later :burnout:

But those my preggo weight gone 5 months after given birth and back to my weight before preggo (I do exclusively do BF) and do some hiking as my exercise. So always see the brightside..... :flower:

Don't be sad. enjoy your time and eat as you want when you need to but also doing some exercises (I love walked around when I was preggo) I even asked my husband to nag me if I was lazy :bounce:

Take care. Maya
 
I'd just ignore him!

I gained 16 kgs while pregnant thanks to a donut fetish!

Your body is going to be using copious amounts of energy to create this little wonder - it is busy trying to make another human being and you simply can not survive on carrot sticks alone!

In the first half of your pregancy you will feel like you look "fat" but soon that lovely belly will be more obvious and I'm sure your husband will be very proud.

Oh and congratulations!
 
hi there,

congratulations! The first trimester and even 2nd if you are still ill is the most stressful time I found - your body is still adjusting to having another being, you don't look preggers (hence no sympathy from people around) and your hormones are all over the place, if you are experiencing morning sickness it's really the icing on the cake! All I can say is go easy on yourself - while we may all have great aspirations of eating healthy/exercising and being that perfect pregnant mother-to-be, the reality is sometimes it's just too darn hard so if eating heaps of carby cookies/snacks/sweets keep the nausea at bay and make you feel better, go to it!!!!! The whole weight thing is there to scare mothers-to-be from going too overboard so don't worry about it - I have had many a slim GF balloon to like 60-65 pounds over their pre-pregnancy weight and all delivered healthy babies and eventually got their figures back too (I put on almost 50 pounds delivered a healthy baby and am skinnier now than pre-pregnancy). At the end of the day it's whatever makes you feel good about yourself cos a happy pregnant woman = a happy baby. When you do start feeling better (mostly by week 16-18) you can start thinking about eating more nutriciously. I had severe morning sickness until week 18 (was on medication to keep water and food down) and lived on whatever would stay down - ribena, cheesecake (I had one sara lee cake every night after dinner),local sweet desserts and needed to eat non-stop to get that metallic taste out of my mouth.

In terms of getting hubby less opinionated and more understanding, it's hard to do the lecture thing as men will NEVER understand the physical/mental/emotional rollercoaster you and your body are going through so no point talking yourself blue in the face. My husband was very into the whole pregnancy and doing it right so he read the books (faster than me I might add) and comprehensive books like "What to Expect when you are expecting" was very comprehensive and insightful. Maybe you can both get a copy and read it together.

Good luck and above all do enjoy yourself, being pregnant is a wonderful thing and I hope you get to enjoy it as much as possible!
 
Hi

I think that with these things, the more you insist, the more he will try to 'control' you eating, suspecting that you have no control yourself.
It is hard to lose weight after pregnancy and you dont have to eat for two -this is an old wives tale.
I would explain to him that you are keeping your eye on your weight and trying to moderate your intake without going hypo! and you will soon see him reassuring you and letting off the tight leash! Very best of luck, I found in later pregnancy your hormones/nausea settle down your stomach feels weighty and youdont feel like eating so much. My weight was gained in the first few months.
Best of luck
LA:burnout:
 
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