Weaning from Breastfeeding

N

nanzbier

Registered User
Was wondering if anyone can give any good tips on how to wean in the most "gentle" way? My daughter is 14 months now and I am down to about 2 feeds (once in morning and once at night) per day. I barely have any milk left....so I believe she's probably comfort sucking. Someone suggested to go on a vacation for a few days, but I think that might be too traumatic for her....and myself! =) Any other suggestions?
 
Ideas for gentle weaning:
* Drop one feed at a time rather than both at once. Decide which one is most convenient for you and/or your baby is more attached do and keep that one for a while longer.
* If you want to drop the morning feed, try distraction with other exciting activities or objects or food.
* If you want to drop the evening feed, try to introduce other nighttime calming signals such as bedtime routine, comfort object, music, "key words" (last idea from Elizabeth Pantley's no-cry sleep solution) - alongside the breastfeeding before you withdraw that.
* Consider why you want to wean now... is it because you think she is getting so little milk, it is of little nutrional value anymore? You might be surprised how much she is getting - I thought the same as you before I dropped my last feed, so I was surprised at how engorged my breasts got when I stopped. And there are still nutrional benefits in even a small amount of milk, because the nutrients apparently get more concentrated the less you feed. It is still a major protection against illness at a time when your child is being exposed to the world and its germs more and more. And is comfort sucking necessarily a bad thing? You may miss that ability to instantly calm your baby when it's gone. Are other people suggesting it's about time you should wean? Do it when it feels right for you and your baby... and if you only breastfeed at home then nobody else will see it.

When I was down to two feeds like you, when my baby was about 16 months old, it was my baby who dropped the wake-up feed because she was far too excited to sit still when she woke up in the morning. Baby-led weaning is the kindest of all! Two months later I decided to drop the bedtime feed to give myself more flexibility at work, and she hardly noticed because there were lots of other things going on in her bedtime routine.
 
thanks so much for all your information! i'd love to make it a baby-led weaning. i'm just not sure if she'll ever stop! i also think dropping the morning feed first would be a good start. i'd like to keep the evening feed until she's ready to drop that. I"m just wondering when she'd like to wean....I'm getting alot of pressure from people saying "you dont have enough milk" or "you are STILL Bfeeding....don't you think its TIME to stop" or worse yet "ewwww!!" I also think its about time to wean but would like to do it gradually. Some people say I should just make the decision and totally stop. But sometimes when she sees me, she just wants to suck for maybe 1-2 minutes and then continue to play. She can do this 2-3 times a day.
 
The behaviour you mentioned of wanting just a couple of minutes milk and then running off to play is very common with toddlers who are still breastfeeding. We often call it ?touching base? and it is a great way of giving reassurance to a child as they start to independently explore the world. In fact there is research which shows that children who wean late are actually more independent, not less independent ? they think the reason for this is because of the reassurance they get as toddlers.

One approach to weaning is called ?don?t offer ? don?t refuse?. This is exactly as it sounds ? the mother doesn?t take the initiative to breastfeed but then doesn?t stop the baby when he is asking for it. This way you know that you aren?t feeding more than the child wants and also that you aren?t stopping too soon either.

I would recommend the following books:

1. Mothering your Nursing Toddler, Norma Jane Bumgarner
Practical, reassuring, informative, and supportive book for the mother of a nursing toddler. Emphasizes meeting child's needs. Discusses importance of breastfeeding relationship, natural weaning, temporary changes in lifestyle, society's expectations vs. child's and family's needs.

2. Nursing Mothers Guide to Weaning, Kathleen Huggins & Linda Ziedrich
Explores all aspects of weaning beginning with an historical survey of weaning practices and ending with weaning a child over three and life after weaning. Discusses reasons for weaning as well as reasons to delay weaning; offers practical and helpful advice that respects the needs and feelings of both mother and child.

3. How Weaning Happens, LLLI
This book includes the personal experiences of mothers who have weaned in a variety of ways. It covers the kinds of questions parents have about natural weaning, explains how weaning can be accomplished at various ages, what to do if weaning is necessary for medical reasons, how to handle pressure from others, how mothers feel about weaning, and what to do if weaning isn't going well. Above all, it reassures parents that weaning is a natural developmental process.

The normal age for weaning worldwide is between two and four years ? so please don?t feel the pressure to stop if you are otherwise happy to continue. If, however, you are beginning to have negative feeling about your breastfeeding relationship the above books (especially Nursing Mothers Guide to Weaning) will be able to give you some ideas of how to stop.

LLL in Hong Kong has this book for sale and also available to members in the library. If you are interested in this book please contact either:
Sarah ? 2548-7636 in Mid-levels or
Maggie ? 2817-7475 in Happy Valley
or [email protected]

For meeting details please check out our web site at www.lllhk.org

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
i read books no.2 & 3 when i was planning to wean, baby was 15mths, in April (i was also down to 2 feeds/day). they really helped cos you know you're not alone, especially when there are SOO many people telling you all these discouraging things about nursing your toddler. i find the the not offer, not refuse method very good. i don't think you should disappear on a trip. i'm sure your baby has been wih you all the time since the day she was born, if suddenly you disappear maybe she'll feel insecure.

but ask yourself this before you wean her - why do you want to wean? is it because what everybody else says? or because YOU want to. don't bother to wean if it's becasue of other people. bfeding is a thing between just YOU & your baby (maybe your hubby, but it's nobody else's business) i weaned my baby because everybody said i should, and i was planning a trip that i had to go to in July. baby finally weaned herself in May. but i decided to bring her with me to the trip cos i just can't leave her, i'd miss her too much. now i regret weaning her. i was already mix feeding her & she was getting much of her milk from formula. but i miss that closeness & all those nice things that came w/ bfeeding. if i will have another baby, i think i'll just let her self wean.
 
I just started feeding solids to my baby 2 weeks ago. I am still feeding him only 1 solid meal a day which is mid-morning. Everyone has been telling me to introduce the second solid meal but I am reluctant to. I sometimes feel guilty for not doing it but I am just afraid that he might not nurse as much and my milk supply might run out and I would be forced to stop bf completely. I am a little unclear on how to combine solids with bf. Can I feed him 2 solid meals a day and bf as usual or will I have to cut down on my bf. He will be 6 months next week. I want to continue to bf until he self weans and I still feed him when he wakes up at night but I am quite happy to do so coz I am away at work all day and it is my chance to bond with him. My mom thinks if don't drop the mid-night feeds I will have trouble later on but I really don't want to stop. Am I being selfish?
 
Thanks for all the supportive information! I would like to try to go down to one feed (night time) per day. But she does like to "touch base" with me and then go off to play...and I don't feel that I should refuse her either. I definitely would like to purchase book #2 and #3. Is there anyway that I can order this online or pay via paypal? I am in China.......
 
Dear Usfret,

Once solids have started, your milk will still be the *primary* source of calories, fats, vitamins, minerals, and hydration for your baby. Solids are meant to *complement* his breast milk intake in the first year. Breastfeeding first before offering solids will help to ensure that your milk supply continues to be adequate and that baby gets the milk that he needs for optimum development as he learns to eat other foods. You can confidently follow your baby's cues as to "when" and "how much" nutritious solid food he would like to eat in a day, and your body will regulate its production of milk dependent upon baby's new demands (again, so long as you nurse first, offer solids second).

Some babies, usually older than six months, refuse solids in "mushy" form. They prefer to hold off eating solids until they can finger-feed themselves, and many do just fine on all of the same foods that the rest of the family is eating. Some babies in very allergic families will actually "self-protect" themselves from allergens by refusing solids until eight or nine months old. In those babies, if their iron level and weight gain is normal for their age, there should be no concern.

After the age of one, long after solids have become a regular part of a baby's diet, your milk will still be the perfect milk for him.

You might be interested in the following web page:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBsolids.html

I wouldn?t worry about the night feeds if you are happy with them. It is actually good for babies to wake up and have night feeds. This is usually something that mothers don?t want to hear but it is true! It is estimated that toddlers will get one third of their calories at night if allowed to feed. And remember that your breast milk is the best food your child will ever have in the whole of his life ? don?t be in a hurry to stop giving it. You are not being selfish ? in fact you are being the opposite ? loving and giving.

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
Hi Sarah,

Thanks for the advice. I have been feeding solids first and breastfeeding second because if I breastfeed first he is too full and he refuses solids but is perefctly happy to breastfeed if I do it the other way round. Is there any way I can regulate how much he breastfeeds so that he will still eat some solids?
 
If he is still happy on just milk why not wait a while for solids?
After all it isn?t a stage of his life that he will miss if he starts next month instead of this month.

Have you tried finger foods? Most babies seem happy to eat finger foods even when they aren?t interested in mushy food. I think they like the independence of them.

So long as you are still breastfeeding and allowing your baby to have milk feeds often it is unlikely that you will have a problem with your milk supply. Your body is expecting for your baby to start solids around six months and so easily copes with it. It is estimated that once your milk supply is established it takes 42 days (that is 6 weeks) for you to lose your milk after the last breastfeed.

Best wishes,
SARAH
 
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