Want to divorce

[Hunter]

It's really embarrassing for me to raise this issue here, but I really need some wisdom to guide me.

Ok, now at this stage, I really really really want to divorce. I don't want to even talk to him. It's purely due to the character difference, and I can not communicate with this guy even though we've been together for over a century. Even a tiny little thing can turn out to be a huge fight, and I am really sick of it. Well, it is a mismatch from the beginning. I've never loved this guy. It is a shame to tell you, but I have never said I love you to this guy.

but the thing is, I am a full time mother, and I have no financial ability to raise my child on my own. so, my only concern is the money, which is quite important as well.

What should I do?

 

[joyofliving]

Hunter, I have sent you a PM.

 

[HK2008]

Hi Hunter,
It's a very tough question no doubt. You probably have given it a lot of thought, but I noticed you posted this around mid-night when often emotions go down to a low point. I'm not gonna persuade you that you cared/even loved this guy enough to have married him and had a child together. But the fact that you've been unemployed for a while and judged by your previous posts, you are quite a career-oriented woman---this could play a part in how you handle your relationships. Of course it takes a VERY understanding husband(close to a saint level I'd say) to be the only breadwinner and coming home after a stressful day to happily interact with you and the kid; and take away your worries/sorrows/doubts etc; and often take you out for a romantic dinner followed by a movie(which are what we women like to see in our hubbies)...Especially if money is such a concern.

I've a few friends who're single moms. I often say to myself how lucky I am compared to them---they look after a few young kids alone while trying to keep up a full-time job in order to bring home the bacon. I'm however in no way encouraging anybody to get stuck in a dead marriage. Just merely pointing out that it's gonna be a hard job and you need to be prepared for it. Do you have your own family that you can reply upon? If they are not in HK, are you able to take your child to stay with them for a while before you make any decisions? It might shed some new light to your situation once you are in a more relaxed environment.

Remember nothing indicates better how strong a marital relation is than how a couple cope with hardship/hard times together...Good luck with your decision and hope you'd feel better soon enough.

 

[akachan]

You married a man you don't love and now you only care about the money? I'm not surprised that every little thing turns into a fight--not exactly a relationship based on honesty.

If what you said is true, get divorced as soon as possible. It sounds like you would be doing him a favor as much as yourself. Many single mothers make ends meet everyday and their kids are no less loved. Just make sure that the father stays in the child's life and never use the child as leverage for bargaining/fighting.

Good luck. To both of you.