Vacation with Toddler and baby - more work than staying home?

B

Biggie

Registered User
I would like to ask those who have taken two small kids/baby on vacation to share their experience.

We have a 5mth old and a 28 mth old. With just one kid, we used to go to Phuket every few months. There's a condo we can stay, with a kitchen, pool, and close to the beach. Some nights, we can get a baby sitter to watch our boy and we can go out (we've known her for many years and can trust her completely, but she has a day job and a young daughter so can only baby sit certain nights). Even then, it was more work for me while we are "on vacation" than staying at home, without our helper. My husband can play and swim with our boy but not really good at "caring" for him, like feeding, putting to sleep, getting dressed etc.

Now, we have another baby and we are thinking of going to Phuket for a week in the summer. On one hand, I like the idea of going away and my boy loves seeing new things and it was a good chance for him to bond with Daddy. On the other hand, I can't imagine how we can handle the two of them with no or little help. Things like preparing some meals (at least breakfast/cutting fruit), putting the two to nap and to bed, bathing each of them etc etc.

My older boy could be clingy to me sometimes, and Daddy is not very good at soothing the 5mth old -- plus I'm still breastfeeding.

How did you handle a toddler and a baby on vacation? Taking the helper is an option but accommodation is an issue and we will also need to find boarding house for our dog....or we can just stay home all summer....
 
If u can then take ur helper lots of people with small kids travel with helpers so they can go out at night, have a break in a different place
 
I know what you mean about vacations being more work with kids, especially if you are used to having a helper at home. We have done both - taken our helper on shorter, more local trips especially within Asia (where you don't usually run into any visa issues, at least with a Filipina passport) and also done lots of trips without helper. Both have their good points and sometimes it's nice for you to have an extended break from each other.

I think what it comes down to is 1. Cost - do you mind forking out the extra on accommodation, flights & food to have someone to help you? We always get our helper a separate room for privacy purposes. It may mean you have to upgrade your existing accommodations if space is an issue, or rent an extra room nearby. 2. Do the benefits of having a family holiday alone outweigh the benefits of having help? I've always enjoyed the time away, even with the extra work that it entails. That said, I am about to have baby number two so I may change my tune a little! Also my husband can look after our son by himself no problems.

Or, try a short break close by i.e. at one of the Macau resorts for a night or two, as see how that goes. We are going to try one of the new hotels at the Galaxy resort this summer as we will have a newborn soon and don't want to travel. I know it's not thailand but maybe check that out.
 
We have a four month old and a 26 month old and have now been away with them twice. We love going away with them but it is a lot of work. For me it is worth it because I really like the family time away from all the day to day stuff. We don't take our helper. I am also used to taking care of both kids on my own though because helper doesn't work on weekends or evenings.
 
biggie, what you are describing is how most of the world deals with "parenthood", bathing, preparing meals, entertaining the kids. you can do it without a helper, people all over the world do it. yes, it is hard work. yes, it can be tiring, but it is worth it. and if you have the opportunity to do it while on holiday, you're very lucky indeed. the great thing about that age is that they still nap, so if you are tired, then take a nap yourself!

can i trade you places? my helper left last december, i opened a new playgroup centre, run my first one plus we also have a dog boarding business.... all of this without any household help. (hubby does have someone to help him with the dogs, though).

good luck and have fun!
 
we have a 6 month old and a 3 year old. when we go on vacation or helper-less, we try to do the "hard" things "easy". "hard" things being, feeding, bathing and sleeping routines. these are our major tantrum triggers.

feeding. we pack or buy milk, loaf of bread and cream cheese and "cut free" fruits. "cut free" fruits like bananas, kiwis, strawberries, grapes. saves loads of time. when our older kid refuses food or meals, we just make a sandwich with milk and fruits. it's a no brainer meal prep, that even the dad can do it. for baby, she nurses wherever we go in the ergo. now that she's on solids, i just bring avocado/ banana and cereals whenever we go out.

bathing and sleeping. my husband is pretty good at taking bath and dressing our older child. then he gets to read with his dad while i bathe and nurse the younger one. we have worked out some magic between husband and i. he loves listening to stories, gets to have an extra story read by my husband + a dr seuss story downloaded on my husband's phone.(that's the magic, only with dad, he gets to have that application on his phone) that helps to give me some time with baby. when baby is asleep, i'd take over from my husband if our child is still awake.

nap time, if baby doesnt sleep, dad takes her out to walk while i read to our older child and put him to sleep. sometimes he requests for his dad to do it. so we swap around. sometimes, we just hang out in the room together. with the baby lying beside me with her toys while our older child and husband cuddle to sleep. and if all cant sleep after 30mins, we just get up and go out! baby always ends up sleeping in the ergo!

with these areas covered, we just kick back relax and enjoy!
 
People all over the world vacation without a helper!
If you're on vacation, and don't have anything to do but relax and care for your children, I don't think a helper is necessary. Though, if you have the extra money, you can of course bring her along to make it easier.
Have you talked to your husband about pitching in? Honestly, cutting up a piece of fruit or dressing a 5-year-old shouldn't be very hard for anyone.
 
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Agree, people all over the world vacation without a helper AND believe it or not, people all over the world have 2, 3 or even 4 kids and no helper at all and they manage just fine.
Having kids is a "package deal". Feeding them, bathing them, changing their nappies, dressing them, playing with them, etc. is all part of the deal, whether you're on a vacation or not. Also, I don't see why the dad is not helping out, after all, you're on a family vacation. Plus, it's a great opportunity for him to spend some quality time with the kids.
We don't have a helper, but even if we had one, I would never ever take her on vacation with us!
 
It is definitely more work than staying at home. Yes, everyone else in the world can do it, but the reality is that travelling with children is more work than staying put. Children can get sick when travelling, be jetlagged (as can adults), have difficulty sleeping in new environments, etc. There are plenty of ways to enjoy some holiday time locally. If you get out early enough in the morning or late afternoon, it's actually not too hot and you can escape back home within a couple of hours if the children get too fussy. Oh, and airfare is getting more expensive, not less. Now that we have three, we're staying put for the summer, too. We just visited the Hong Kong Wetlands Park, which had a surprising amount of things to do with little kids in indoor spaces. We can swap ideas on what to do over the summer!
 
We don't call it holidaying or vacationing - we call it "parenting in a different location"! ;-)
Yes, it can be more tiring than staying put, but it's still enjoyable being in a new environment. We have 3 little boys (5, 3, 10mths) and they are haaaard work. None of them are good sleepers. The two eldest are picky eaters.
We try to make things easier by staying in hotels, or villas that have hotel facilities (eg, room service). But looking after kids while on holiday (and at home) is called 'real life'.

If you need more help, tell your husband to step up his game.
Or give in and take your helper.
Do what works best for you!
 
Are you going on vacation for yourself or for your kids?
If you are going for yourself, then why not leave the kids at home. When our kids were at that age, we *never* took them on vacation. Its a waste of money taking kids of that age as they dont understand, appreciate nor will they even remember it.

When we wanted to have a family vacation with our young kids, we stayed in Hong Kong. Renting a holiday home in one of the islands can be done very reasonably. Bring along a helper and all the necessities and you can have a relaxing time without all the hassles. The kids wont know (nor care about) the difference between Phuket or PengChau. Give them a bit of sand, some sea and/or nice pool and they are happy as clams.

I've never understood the desire of parents bringing 1-3 year old kids to far off places. Where is the enjoyment and relaxation?

HC
 
Wouldn't you consider going to a place like the Club Med ? It's a great place in Phuket, just close to the shopping streets and to the beach, and both your kids are old enough to go to the mini and baby club. Don't have to leave them all day long, but half a day sometimes to get some real rest ! and kids loooove it, they have friends to play with, lots of games...
 
Thanks for the suggestions and tips. I'd try them out. Taking a shorter break at Macau as a test run is also a great idea.
We go to Phuket cos we have a place to stay (though might try clubmed one time if they actually have kids club we can drop off at such young age), and we can meet relatives and friends there.
Daddy did help when we are on vacation, and he wanted to help. Just that sometimes, our older boy is just cranky and only wants mommy. And Daddy really isn't that good regarding soothing baby.
Good point re whether vacation is for us or for the kids. I think it's both. We enjoy having time away from home and a change of scenery, while my older boy certainly enjoys going to new places and seeing new things, and younger one has no choice but to come along =)

On the point that all the hassle are just part of "parenthood", it's true but we have the means and opportunity to get help here (some people in other part of the world also have other forms of help, like daycare, nannies, cleaners) and I am not sure if I would do this if I cannot get any help. It's probably a controversial topic, best leave for another thread!
 
sorry, i wasn't being mean or nasty in my post. i was merely pointing out that people all over the world "vacation" with their kids and no help. it might be a good time for daddy to 'become good at soothing the baby'? he can't get good at it if he doesn't get practice and vacationing without a helper is the best way to get practice.

i'm sorry if i caused offence, it wasn't intended. it might actually feel good to take care of them yourself, without outside help. a feeling of accomplishment if you know what i mean?

i took my son to bangkok last year for 11 days, just the two of us. granted it wasn't the holiday i would have had without him, but we had a great time. we were both in bed early most nights (except when we went to the night safari) and up early (his hours, not mine!) but i was able to have ladies from the spa come to our room so that i could still indulge in the foot/body massages in the evening when he was getting ready to sleep (i did it EVERY NIGHT!). I didn't get to do the shopping i would have done if i was with hubby or friends, but i did get to read my book while he played at FUNARIUM (indoor playground). we didn't go out to fancy restaurants, but i did get to order in with foodbyphone (different meal every night!).

so, what i'm trying to say is that while it's not the same as before you had young kids, that doesn't make it bad. can be tiring, yes, but it can still be greatly enjoyable.

good luck!
 
We have taken our 2 children away regularly, both from birth (they are now 2 and 3).

For us, we love being a family and going away together, even when our daughter was 18 months (with attitude) and a newborn. A vacation for us is all about family. But we do try to keep things simple (especially when they were younger). For example, short plane flights, direct flights only, minimal time differences (if any), we often stay in one place (like a resort) where there are pools, play rooms, activities, and restaurants/room service.

Admitedly, I have a very hands on husband/daddy who is often pushing me out the door to the day spa so he can have one on one time with the kids - he loves it. My husbands work hours means he only sees his children for 5 minutes in the morning and they are in bed before he gets home, so he loves being able to do bath time with them, enjoy meals together, and just bond.

I look back on photos today and love seeing my daughter paddling in the sand bar at the pool in Sanya, my son rolling in the grass in Kota Kinabalu, and lying on banana lounges on the beaches in Thailand. The joys and smiles of the kids, even at such a young age, makes it a wonderful experience for us all. Make sure you do kid friendly activities too like going to zoos, or playing a sport or activity in the resort, go to local markets etc.

My husband and I also try and have some down time too. Admittedly not together but we take it in turns to do our own thing while the other looks after the two kids. Whether it be a massage or facial in the day spa, or my husband loves scuba diving, it also allow us to have some time out too.

For us, the hardest part is often we are all sleeping in the same room, if not, then still in close proximity. And as our kids are often light sleepers we are often limited to what we can do in the evenings. So we try and get rooms with a balacony or outdoor area so we can at least sit outside, enjoy some wine, and adult time.

It will be as hard or as easy as you make it. Go, enjoy your family time, and relax. If it doesn't work, leave it a little more time before you try again. They get easier as they get older.

Oh, and don't listen to howardcoombes, he/she is clearly not very family orientated. I get plenty of enjoyment and relaxation, much more than if I was to just dump them back at home like they were the family dog.
 
We always take our kids with us on holiday, with no helper. It is harder than staying at home with them, but otherwise we would stay home all the time. I think it is good for the kids to experience different things/ places/ routines (even if they won't remember it later - we lived in Shanghai for the first 4 years of my daughters life - she won't remember it, but that doesn't mean it won't have influenced her as a person.) But we don't stay in expensive hotels anymore, we go for the serviced apartment option (trying to find cheaper ones) because we would prefer to stay somewhere less posh with with a space we can sit once the kids are asleep. We did the hotel room with balcony once, which also worked fine, but the weather wasn't good and we did feel a bit cooped up! As others have said, you can do it, or not do it, it totally depends on what you think is important, and how you cope. Try it once, maybe somewhere not too far for a long weekend - if you have a miserable time then don't do it again for a year or two. It gets easier as the kids get older.
 
Yes, we've done vacationing with both too - with and without helper. We just got back from Chiang Mai without my helper and just with my 7 month year old and 3 year old. It was tiring and exhausting, but loved it. We love time away from Singapore/HK and being just a family. Sure, that means once of has to be in the room when napping happens or our bedtimes are earlier, but it's all part of it. It's no surprise. We know how it will be. We also try and get a suite of like mentioned above, a room with a balcony. Personally, we never leave our kids with anyone else except with us or our helper when we travel @ Asia - no kids club, babysitters etc....

We also do love bringing our helper - this means we can have the best of both worlds. My helper can be in the room during naps and bedtime and my hubby and i can go to the spa, shopping or have a nice quiet dinner not at 6pm. there are pros and cons for both. i sometimes find bringing my helper more stress b/c there's another person with you - we have to get a connecting room, thinking about her meals etc....other times, it's great when we want to go out at night.
 
Personally, like I mentioned above, would never trust a resort/hotel babysitting service. Many times, they use staff that is off duty etc....We just would never risk it. If that means, we have to eat dinner in the hotel room or at 5:30pm then so be it.
 
I would, but put the kids to bed myself before I go out (after they have met the babysitter and know she is there) and make sure the hotel has my mobile number. If I was on holiday where my mobile didn't work then I probably wouldn't do it. I probably would only do it once a week on holiday, but it is nice to have a night out with my husband every now and then!
 
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