unsalted butter and yelling husband

solidstars

solidstars

Registered User
my husband spent the last 10 minutes yelling at me about my putting unsalted butter into my 1yrs 2 mths old baby's pasta that I was cooking.

He says I'm poisoning my baby and that it's slow poison and his organs will fail.

He also adds that his mother has been displeased with the food I have been giving baby (porridge with carrot/peas/corn sometimes beef/chicken, shell pasta with carrot/peas/corn/cheese/ cheese snacks/baby biscuits). He says they prefer FRESH congee with FRESH ingredients as opposed to my frozen peas/carrot/corn and that his mother will probably eventually start saying something to me.

Sorry to vent, I just need your thoughts as opposed to listening to him yelling. I told him I'll ask online whether 'unsalted butter' is a problem considering all my baby recipe books have them. As I'm typing this my husband is still yelling at me over my shoulder.

I even showed him my books and he says it's because they are foreign babies and his is not.

Your thoughts would be most welcomed...

ps. My baby did not take up solids very well at 6 mths until just very recently. So I have been trying something new all the time until recently, one time I did perhaps lose my judgement and tried frozen dumplings (i saw somewhere online that a mom tried this and the baby loved it). Anyways that was when he was a week before 1 years old and he didn't like it anyways and did not eat it. My husband brought this up with our doctor and both the husband/doctor said cooked frozen dumplings are not good for babies and my husband has used this as ammunition ever since about me 'poisoning baby'. I already said sorry about the dumplings but I mentioned to him that he is also most welcomed to try to cook new stuff and feed baby, but he hasn't done it once, only his mother...
 
first off, tell your husband that YOU have been doing a LOT of research and that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with a small amount of unsalted butter. there is also ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with using frozen veg once in a while. YOUR CHILD WILL NOT DIE from a tiny amount of butter once per day for goodness sake!

as for congee.... YUCK!

tell your husband that your child is now over 1 year of age and is ABLE TO EAT EVERYTHING AN ADULT EATS, just in smaller quantities & pieces.

things such as:
pizza
hamburger
sandwiches
proper chinese food (not just congee)
salad
chicken
fish
etc

are ALL ok!

ps> children NEED a lot of fat in their diet! whole-fat milk, a little butter etc. they are NOT mini-adults yet and their dietary needs are different to adults(children need a lot of carbs & fat). their ability to eat, though is that of little adults.
 
Gosh!
:grouphug: to you.
I was fuming as I read your post. :mad:

Unless you're using organic sources from very reliable sources.
I'm not talking about cheaper alternatives from some local farms... I've seen organic vegetable farms in HK next to a freeway, car dump, electronic waste dump... etc. How can vegetables imported from China - found at the local markets be better than frozen vegetables??? It's been proven that frozen vegetables actually retain better nutrition than the ones we get at the market! (Not for all) Unsalted butter does not poison children! If anything it's margarine that i wouldn't use for kids.

We've used both local organic and imported organic... It just isn't the same! Even the frozen organic spinach/peas/corn tastes better than what I get at the market! We used to grow our own tomatoes, strawberries, eggplant... in our own backyard and are just not some wannabe holier than thou organic consumers!

Sometimes local mothers/mothers-in-law/husbands who make such crazy statements need to be ignored! Unless of course, he/mother in law is willing to foot the bill for reliable organic produce. I think both of them needs a little re-education and pointed to the realities of fresh produce from China/HK.
 
forgot to say that both of my kids LOVE frozen dumplings! it's not like they eat them every meal, every day for goodness sake!
 
sorry that you're facing this situation with your hubby. if it makes him feel better, tell him that i add normal salt to my bub's food.:redface:
 
i was just thinking... it sounds to me like your MIL is Chinese. i can TOTALLY and COMPLETELY sympathise with you.

my MIL is Chinese, too. i REALLY wish they would realise that their parenting days are over (or should deal with their CHILDREN) AND NOT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN!

YOU are the mother. YOU should be able to decide what/how/when you take care of/feed your child!!! IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS!!!

it's your husband's job to TALK to you, to BACK you & to HELP you...not to berate you over something his mother told him... sounds to me like he's the one that needs to grow up. (speaking from experience)
 
"... i REALLY wish they would realise that their parenting days are over (or should deal with their CHILDREN) AND NOT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN!"

Carang... That just cracked me up! Perfect statement though!
 
You have my sympathies. Er, am I missing something, why should unsalted butter be a problem and surely using salted butter would be more of an issue (too much salt in the diet etc)? And what's the matter with frozen food: it's far better to use frozen than old fresh veggies or canned veggies (or no veggies at all!). There's no scientific/nutritional basis to those comments at all....feel so sorry for you. (and my babies are not/were not 'foreign' babies but they seem to have survived ok)
 
So sorry to hear this!!! On occasion, when I make Annabel Karmel recipes, I will use butter in the cooking for my son too! This was before he turned one year old....I don't think he had any problems with it. I think once *gasp* I might have put in salted butter as I didn't have any unsalted at home. My pediatrician has told us that we can start putting a little bit of salt into our son's food (now 14 months). Plus, we actually do let our son try the food we eat both at home and when we are out. Though when he eats at home, we still cook separate food for him where we don't really put salt - on occasion, I have put some salt in to see if it helps his eating.
 
Tell your husband to get a grip and quit being a mommy's boy. May your boy grow to over 6 feet tall and bench 300 pounds, but he won't do it eating congee all the time.
And don't worry about your MIL; she's also probably convinced her little boy shold have married somebody else. Somebody more like a local.
The statement about foreign babies being different from local babies in terms of what they can eat is pure ignorance and smacks of a few less pleasant things.
If he is so worried about the slow poisoning of your child through food, what is he doing to move you out of the air pollution?

PS. Our boys eat salted butter straight from the stick (not in massive amounts) and they are both well-above average height and well-below average weight.
 
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I heard on TV that fresh veggies which are frozen right after picking have more nutritional content than the ones that take days to reach the supermarket shelves after being picked from the farms. I don't think HK farms produce real Organic veggies and fruits because of the high pollution level here. Those who disagree with me please read what does it take for a farm to be categorized as Organic Farm.
I used butter, cheese in my daughter's food, used frozen pees and corn all the time.
 
geomum said:
I heard on TV that fresh veggies which are frozen right after picking have more nutritional content than the ones that take days to reach the supermarket shelves after being picked from the farms.
Click to expand...

Yup, I have read the same thing!!
 
Unsalted butter is absolutely fine! Toddlers need these essential fats in their diet for growth & brain development. My 14 month old has toast and butter for breakfast virtually every day! If you google "butter in babies diet" you will find a wealth of information - maybe you should show to hubby? Good luck.
 
I think the one with the problem is your husband, and not your MIL. She would not know what your are feeding your baby, unless someone told her. Mostly seems that your hubby is obsessed with all news about child obesity, fat, trans fat, etc.

And not all chinese MIL is that "healthy". I know my mom wouldn't care less about what to feed a baby.... I think I wouldn't care too much either... At the end, I grew up drinking full fat milk, eating cakes, cookies, butter, and all sort of salty and fat food...
 
i really feel sorry for you - my MIL is the same (and I'm Chinese)...luckily my hubby is great and has no problem with what I feed our daughter...he always says that "a mother would't kill her own child!"

Butter / small amounts of fat are in fact very good for the children under the age of 2 ("chinese" people don't believe this) as it helps to develop the brain...my daughter has some every day in some form or another, and it is completely fine!

as for frozen veggies, I ALWAYS use them when I am making steamed egg for my daughter - they're sweet and to be honest, I don't want to stand by the sink shelling peas for her dinner all the time

Congee is good - once in a while - we'll have a pot of plain congee once in a while and add the meat / vegetable to it when we give it to her, but by 1 my daughter was eating EVERYTHING that we were eating (just in smaller proportions) - my MIL would be concerned about the MSG!!! How much is she really eating?
 
Sorry to hear that! I hope he reads all of the above comments to see that he is the one that is wrong and NOT you :)
 
He says butter is bad for baby/fattening...

I am going to print out all your comments (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) which made me feel loads better, and show him...

I have nothing against my MIL, we may not see on the same level and although we may not agree on some things I am okay with her overall, it's really my husband that I'm having problems with... Especially his choice of words sometimes...

when i was pregnant (last trimester) we were at a hotel buffet and I ate 3 slices of salmon sashimi and he said i killed his son and that i was poisoning his son and all sorts of mean words, resulting in argument lasting over a week. In the end he promised not to say things like that and I promised not to eat sashimi/seafood whilst pregnant...
 
what does your husband think japanese women eat when they are pregnant for goodness sake???

although, it is something i would be careful about...i saw something that said if you use wasabi, it kills 90% of the bacteria on the fish which is why japanese rarely get sick from it...

as for hubby:

BUTTER WILL NOT KILL THE CHILD! NOR WILL IT MAKE THE CHILD FAT!

a growing body's nutrient requirements are VERY different to an adult. even so, a tiny amount of butter WHEN COOKING is not going to make a person fat!

perhaps hubby needs to do a little reading up on nutrition for children???
 
at times like these, i look at the positive side as in "awww my hubby cares so much about our bubba!" coz i'd rather have a hubby who cares than not. :tongue:

married life gets more complicated after the arrival of a lil one but most of us will get through the thick and thin! :smile:

~have a great weekend~
:grouphug:
 
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