TTC, depressed, feel like giving up

I absolutely know how you feel. This is my 15th month of TTC, and hubby resists to have any tests done. I had mine done and everything is normal. I've started to take some folic acid and still keeping my fingers crossed. My cycles are very irregular, like 25 days for one cycle, then the next becomes 45 days! Anyway, have faith. Hope we'll share good news here soon!
 
I can't imagine what it is like to be ttc but i will say it's a shame that more men don't seem to realise that they are just as likely the cause of infertility as their partners are. It's awful to hear stories of women feeling guilty for not falling pregnant and it makes it all the worse if the suffering turned out to be for nothing. ka_ying your husband should have the tests done. It's not fair on you to go through so much yourself when you might not be the 'problem' so to speak.
Bozo, I'm glad your husband did the test and I can understand why you feel some relief. I don't think you need to feel guilty for it. Although no one is to blame when couples struggle to have children it always seems like the woman suffers the most and is assumed to have the problems. I know a few couples who are TTC and thankfully the men are all as committed as their partners. They eat well, exercise, some who were smokers stopped. It's a team effort as it should be. Good luck guys.
 
Thanks for your words of support! Just to give you an update on my situation (in case it helps anyone else), hubby has been told he's got varicoceles so the little fellas are getting too hot. Surgery is a possibility but it seems to be controversial and there's no guarantee of success in improving sperm count, motility and pregnancy rates. I went to see a fertility specialist who said that given my age and that the count isn't extremely low we stand a good chance with IUI (about 20% chance in each cycle which isn't that much less than natural conception for couples without problems). We're going to try that in a couple of months.... after a holiday! we'll give that a go for 6 tries, then hubby will try surgery... and then we'll go on to IVF if all else fails.

I honestly think it was the waiting around, the uncertainty of what was happening etc that was driving me mad when I first started this thread. Now we know there's a problem, I'm not expecting anything to happen without intervention so I don't get stressed about it.

Having a plan of action makes me feel a lot more positive, although it did take me a while to come to terms with the fact that we are unlikely to be able to conceive naturally. We're both working out, eating healthily and I'm doing acupuncture to boost my chances. I'm just hoping the meds aren't going to mess me up too much (natural cycle IUI hasn't been offered to us.... I think because of the sperm count and motility).

Ka_Ying - Aussiegal has a very good point about your husband. it must be very frustrating and depressing to have this disappointment every month with no answers or any feeling of progression towards your goal. I think a lot of men are actually a bit afraid of what the results are going to be because if there does turn out to be a problem, they may feel less of a man. I bet a lot of men resist having vasectomies for this reason. I'm sure as far as you're concerned the fears he may be having are nonsense and irrational.... but since when are emotions rational?! Perhaps try speaking to him so you can explain how this is affecting you and with your understanding and support he might change his mind....
 
Don't delay!

After 8 months of trying you should be pregnant, or there is a problem. Go right away to a fertility specialist, not just an OB/GYN. I delayed for 2 YEARS, and what a big mistake. By the time we identified the problem, we only had time for one child, my husband's sperm count is now too low. They will give you the basic tests, and this will either identify the problem or give you the confidence to know that you just need more time! BTW, IVF is only the last resort. Many babies come by way of IUI.
 
TTC - other options

Interesting thread for me to read bc it brings back soo many memories of the pain, anguish and heartbreak during our TTC years. I feel for you all. We are blessed with a beautiful healthy 3 year old daughter but we really wanted more children so started trying about a year after DD was born. DH immediately had his sperm tested and all was fine and I went through various tests and followed the book recommended earlier on in this thread "taking charge of your fertility" - great book and really helps you to understand your body and how it all works. I eventually started clomid but aftrer a few months decided it was not for me - just could not deal with the side effects. Anyway to make a long story a bit shorter - we soon realized that what we wanted most was to bring another child into our family and for us it did not have to be our biological child - so we made the decision to follow the path of international adopion.
After much research, lots and lots and lots of paperwork, homestudies, background checks etc. our dossier was finally logged in to China Center of Adoption Affairs in April 2007 - now the long wait begins but at least we do know that somewhere out there on the mainland there is a child waiting for us who will someday join our family.
I share our story not to convince anyone about adoption because it is not for everyone- but thanfully for us it was the right choice. I share this more to offer a little bit of hope and strength from someone that has been there - hang in there Bozo and others - Baby dust to you all!!
 
Hi MayC,
Don't lose hope. I think a lot of women are going through the same thing and it is a warming and comfortable feeling knowing that we are not alone.

Hubby and I have been trying for baby # 2 since October last year and I just got my period last Saturday. That makes it 9 months of TTC, yet I keep my hopes up. Resting in the knowledge that it took almost a year for my son who is now turning 4 to be conceived. So I will keep trying, hubby is coming back from NY tomorrow night and brings with him a fertility monitor gadget (Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor), have heard great and exciting things about this gadget and hopefully I am able to tell a good story about it as well.

Pray and keep hoping.
Mickeymom
 
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