Hello! I've been on several flights to US and back so I hope I can offer some extra info.
1) Baby is completely bottle fed. Is there a way around having to carry tons of baby bottles?
If you don't want to carry tons of bottles, have you thought about the bottles where you can use the baggies for milk? I'm not sure of the name but I can get you more info if you need it.
2) Can I carry bottled water on board?
As previously stated... HK side seems more flexible. The US side on the other seems quite rigid. We flew back this July/Aug and I had difficulties with items I had purchased in the airport. It seemed really unusual to me but they made us dump everything. So in that case... if you need a certain type of water you might be able to fight but the plane does have bottled water that they can give you. Though technically you are supposed to be allowed to bring milk for a baby.
3) Continental told me I have to request a bassinette at the airport, which is starting to freak me out a little. Is this typical?
I've always had to request special things like this at the airport. It's no fun but if that's what you want... do it and make sure you give yourself enough time so the seats aren't filled up. Bassinettes never worked for my daughter but I at least had the extra leg room. Ask for a seat next to an empty seat. Always helpful!
4) Any other tips and advice, like using baby carrier, or dealing with jet lag, or how to best pack so as to not lug around my whole household....
Now I've never been via Newark (I'm always Chicago/Atlanta first) but I've always had to pick up my luggage and take it through customs at the first stop in the US. I don't know if you're traveling alone but I always was and it's not easy to have a ton of carryon's on top of pushing luggage around. If you are comfortable carrying your child in a carrier (around airports) I would suggest doing that over a stroller simply because of what I mentioned above.
The children never seem to need all that you pack so just keep that in mind. I don't know when you leave but you could even do a diaper count one day so you don't have to overpack even on those. And even for yourself... for me I've never been able to read/etc when traveling with kids because when she's asleep, I sleep and when she's up so am I entertaining her. Maybe your child will be totally different and you'd have more freedom but I rarely pack anything for myself these days.
Bring extra clothes for yourself and her just in case.
Do not be afraid to ask for anything on the plane. They may be grumpy but it's their job to help you.
Don't get stressed if your child cries. Most people will understand and those that don't... will some day.
Let your daughter suck on something while take off and landing.. it helps her ears.
Jet lag.... I don't really think there's anything you can do for her age. for our first flight (daughter was 2 months) we put on pj's when she should be sleeping and actually I still do that. It doesn't always work but if they're used to a routine it might help. You can try keeping them up but it might wear you out more than anything. Just sleep when she does and eventually it will go back to being normal... ask for help when you arrive for in the middle of the night play times.
Leave room in your suitcase (or bring an extra) for all the special things you want to bring back and trust me if this is the first time people are meeting her... you'll have lots to bring back.
And finally... HAVE A GrEAT TIME!!!!! The trip won't be as bad as you think it will be.