Transitioning from accompanied to drop-off

S

southside852

Registered User
My son will be starting nursery this fall - drop off (tear, tear). He will 2 1/2 yrs old and up until then, he will have only done accompanied classes with me. I am wondering how parents transition their child into a drop-off class. Do you stay with them the first day few days and just lesson your time with them each day? Do you give them a pep talk and just do it like in one shot - drop off then leave? We also have a helper, should I have her wait around the first few days to make sure he doesn't have a total melt down or just let the head teacher deal with him.....

Would love to hear your experiences / techniques that have worked for you!

Thanks!
 
My daughter is at Woodlands Pokfulam and went to being dropped off from 2 years and 2 months. My daughter is quite independent, but can also sometimes be clingy, so I wasn't sure how she would handle it but I chatted to her about it before we left for her first day at school and told her that mummy wouldn't be coming into class today and she was going to be a big girl and go on her own. She was fine and I actually think she preferred being in class on her own as opposed to mummy hanging over her shoulder. I hang around for 15 minutes after and arrived around 15 minutes before the end of class.

I know it can be daunting both for mum and toddler, but the teachers are very good at dealing with separation anxiety. My daughter had a few other children in her class who were very upset and they gradually adapted over the weeks to the change, with the help of the teachers.

Good luck to you both!
 
My son started this week. I've been explaining to him like 3 days before he would be on his own during classroom, with his friends (2 other kids were from his former classroom), the teatcher (who was the same as usual), that the schedule would be the same, and how to behave...
The first day all the caregivers stayed with the kids before the classroom started in the little playroom which is used like a waiting room, then the teatcher came to pick them up. We just had a good bye kiss and the kids went to the classroom. Some of the caregivers stayed in the reception room for the 2 hours, I just left after 30 mn to do some grocery shopping and came back 15 mn before.
The second time I left after 5 mn and came back 15 mn before.
No cry, no drama... it went even better than I thought !!
 
Just about your last question, the teatchers asked us not to come and have a look at the classroom in case the kids saw us. During the second day a little girl started to cry and cry, but the teatcher dealt with her and after 15 mn everything was fine....
 
Our son did his accompanied classed with me so when he started alone school, my husband started to drop him. Before going to the alone class I had accompanied my son to that class for him to see and familiarize himself with the new environment, But once he was suppose to go alone we just left him and left because if we stayed he would cry. He cried 1st day 85 mins out of 90 mins , 2nd day 30 mins and 3rd day he was all fine. We did tell him that all his friends are moving into the new class .

Best of luck
 
My son, on the other hand, screamed every morning for 3 weeks. He cried so much on 3 occasions that he vomited all over me and him! Ew. I would wait outside for 5 mins or so and the teachers assistant would come out and tell me he was fine and happily playing. I'd then ring up after an hour to make sure he was still ok. The problem when he changed to drop off was that there were a lot of children transitioning at the same time and they all set each other off.
He always had a big smile and a cuddle for me when I picked him up.
 
What helped with mine was me pointing at the clock in his classroom and letting him know that when both hands are pointing to 12, I would be just outside his classroom waiting for him. Also, for the first month or so, I would have a small treat for him when I go pick him up from school (stickers, a small toy, etc.)

All the best.
 
as a teacher, i would say this:

please just drop off your child as quickly as possible. like ripping off a band-aid/plaster.... it's painful for you both, for about 2-5 minutes. of course there are occasionally children that cry longer, but honestly, most are quite easily distracted and happily playing within 5 minutes. the longer you drag it out, the more crying the teacher has to deal with.

just the other day, i had a mum try to drag it out. her son is just over 3. i picked him up, and said nicely to the mum, 'we'll see you in 1.5 hours. bye!'

the boy cried for the first half of the "hello song", while sitting on my knee, by the second verse he'd stopped crying and sat on his cushion singing along with the rest of us.

in 15 years of teaching, there is only ONE child that i can remember that was not like this! every other child is happily taking part in minutes, if dealt with "properly" by mum.

the problem is that the kids KNOW when/how to upset mum. they are master manipulators by the tender age of 2! they know that if they cry and make a fuss, mummy will stay longer...

good luck! it is truly harder for you than it is for him. i've seen it from a teacher's point of view and a mother's...
 
Once a teacher told me: don't give your kid the wrong idea that, if you just want to, you can stay and play with her.
Because that's not true.

I have never been in the class with my daughter.
We just started day one leaving her ther for one hour and the two and then half a day.
The first days I spied her crying for 10 seconds (believe me!) when I dropped her off and then stopping as soon as she was sure I was gone.

And she had never been without me before the nursery.

I agree with Cara: they are manipulators.

Jus to give an example: my husband is the weak one, he's the one who would stay longer if she asks...well he's not allowed to bring her to school; whenever he does that it's a tragedy!
 
Hi,

My dgtr is also almost 2 1/2, however, she's been in the nursery for almost 1 year. I still recalled her first few days were nightmares to both of us, she cried terribly and terribly, whereas, I can do nothing but to pamper her. Honestly, the staffs there recommended me to just leave at once as our kids will probably stop crying in an unfamiliar environment where there are other kids. But, I chose to accompany her for the first few weeks, however, weeks extended to almost 3 mths time, which now she understands the rythm and accepts it fine every morning! Try to be on their side, how will you feel at this age in a totally unfamiliar environment, isn't it normal to have fear???? that's why i stayed beside her...:gl:
 
My eldest was 20 months when we sent him to his first playgroup in Singapore, which was 4 hours a day, five days a week. The nursery had a policy where the parents could only pick-up/drop-off - absolutely no hanging around! He bounded in happily the first two days, excited to play with new toys and new children. After that, he realized that we were missing until we came to pick him up, so there was a little fussing and anxiety expressed for another three days, but it took only a few minutes to allay. He's never had any problems since and look forward to school happily every day. I think it's tougher if the school doesn't have a consistent policy for all its students - allowing some parents to stay if they want. Can you imagine how confused the children must be? Even the children adjusting well must wonder why their parents didn't stay when other children's parents did. I would recommend finding a school with a consistent policy - either one that compels all the parents to stay for the same duration or one that prohibits them from staying at all.
 
dany, i'm sorry, but as a playgroup teacher THE BEST THING you could have done is to leave when asked.

teachers KNOW how to handle children when they are upset. it's THEIR job to take care of it. i can tell you that you probably caused more problems by staying than if you'd just dropped her off as requested.

of course the children sometimes feel scared, but it's NOT your job to comfort them once you are into the school. that's the teacher's job.

i can guarantee that your daughter would have settled MUCH faster if you'd allowed her the opportunity to do so.

(caps for emphasis only, not intended as yelling ;) )
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top