Toddler refusing to eat

B

bbvv

Registered User
I have a 21mth old toddler whose eating habit has changed since 2 months ago. I cook new food for him and he takes a few spoonfuls and turns his head when we want to feed him more. For him to eat we have to distract him with things to do which I know is incorrect. He used to drink 8oz (220ml) but recently only half of that.

The only fruit he eats is banana and I hide all his vegetables in his meals. He is on the small size so I don't want him to miss out on his meals.

Is this just a phase as he used to be a very good eater and drinker. Any advice will be appreciated.
 
Lots of children seem to go through this phase. I remember someone saying to me that it's their way of asserting their independence. That maybe as well, but as a parent it can be very frustrating.

My husband and I ended up deciding that they would eat when they were hungry, and in fact, as humans we are meant to be grazers and not sit down to three huge meals a day; so toddlers are just following what they have been programmed to do through evolution, rather than what we have been programmed to do through society. As an adult you know that when you're not very hungry it can be hard to eat; toddlers are exactly the same, they just can't verbalise it and say 'I'm not hungry right now.'

Please don't feel there is a correct way to feed your child. If distractions work and get more food into them then carry on. That's you ultimate aim. My theory is, they won't need those distractions when they're sixteen. The techniques you use now, are exactly that, just for now, to get you through this phase.

You might want to try giving him little and often. So cook him his normal food and when he gives up after a few mouthfuls, take it away, carry on with what you were doing and come back to it in say half an hour, or less if you can. It can be time consuming, but I believe that your son is going through a phase, so you won't have to do it for long.

What you want to avoid is making meal times into a battle zone, so when he refuses, be very matter of fact, take the food away and try again later.

Hiding vegetables is not unusual, there are several books out there, with authors making a fortune, on how to hide veggies in kids food.

There may also be a reason for his food refusal, I know if mine were coming down with something or they had some teeth coming through then they would go off there food. Whatever the reason, I'm sure it's a phase.

Good luck!
 
I have a son in 15-mth, he started to refuse milk from his 5th month and never get back to the track that other baby does. I think the 220ml that your baby drank is in a meal, not a day. I have never came across other babies worsen than my son's situation, so you need not to be too worry. My son on average take only 10 - 13oz daily, plus 2 solid food (rice, not congee). Overall he is not a great eater, but he is doing fine, active and healthy even though his percentile is always at the bottom of the growth chart. As long as there is no drastic drop, doctor said it will be fine.

There is a chinese tradiitional practice that we can consider using rice water to mix the milk, so I used the boiled red rice water to mix the milk for feeding him and it seems working well so far recently. Red rice has more minerals and make him more filling. So, we also give him red rice water for drinking to replace for plain water too. Dietitian said to us giving juice is better than plain water, because it contains sugar while plain water has no nutritient value.
 
cyuen...why is he having 2 meals not 3? is there a reason for that?

to the OP, i second completely what jools says. she is usually spot on with her advice.
 
We used to feed him 3 solid in terms of cereal when he was 8-10mth old. Now he don't like cereal anymore, so we feed him milk as the 1st meal of the day, after a while yogurt (6 tbsp) in morning and sometimes egg custard in the afternoon.
 
maybe you should try to liven up your offerings.

my girl (also 15 months) eats everything we eat: pizza, curry, beef stew, thai noodles, mac & cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, fish n chips, as well as all the chinese food that we eat (hubby is chinese).

why not try some dry cereal (cheerios or something like it) or fruit for breakfast? or a cheese sandwich cut into little pieces that he can feed himself? or yoghurt? or eggs? or a little cooked ham cut up to feed himself? or sausages cut up to feed himself?

for lunch try some mac & cheese. this he can feed himself. it makes a mess but it isn't too bad. you can also buy some of the frozen mixed veg. add a little water and cook in the microwave for less than a minute (until it is warm, not hot), then drain the water and serve to the baby? he can feed himself with the small pieces. or you can make some home-made chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc.

buy some cookie cutters and cut the sandwiches or slices of cheese with them. or cut them into long strips.


i had one picky eater and one that eats anything and everything we put in front of her.
 
My 2 year old has been a picky eater from day dot but lately it has gotten worse. I'm trying to cut as many snacks between meals as I can and have cut his two bottles right down in size. It seems to be working as the last few days he has eaten better. He still needs to be distracted to eat but I'll do whatever it takes to get food into him because when he is hungry he's not very nice to be around :) Just like me actually, if i'm hungry stand clear!
 
cyuen2020 I agree with Carang, you really need to liven up your offerings and introduce a proper diet to your 15 month old. Toddlers need to get adequate vitamins and minerals to grow up strong and healthy physically and mentally. Their brains are still growing and developing and they need fish etc.

A 15 month old should also have learnt to chew by now but i don't see how it can happen if you don't feed him lumpy food.

If he's not interested in cereal it's probably because he is craving real food.

I've also read that often a child/toddler needs to see a food 10 times before they eat it. It has often turned out to be the case for us.
 
bbw,

is your toddler eating with you? I know that some toddlers tend to eat more if they eat together with the adults.

AnpanBaby
 
It was suggested to us to give our DS a spoon and fork long before he would be able to use it, also provide food of which he can feed himself.

After 12 months apparently they have a tendency to want to assert some of their own control so we gave our DS choices. (Only a couple as not to overdo him.)

We found this really helped and soon we learnt what foods he preferred, its good not to be fixed in your interpretation of what they like and don't like as this may (and often will) change.

They need to know what to expect, routine, consistency and sharing.

He learns only from example; what do you eat, how do you eat, when do you eat?

Good luck, remember he will never starve if you are offering him good food. This too will be a phase of him testing you (and perhaps himself.)

You are doing a great job.
 
MY toddler eats the same foods that we eat, at the table with the rest of the family. He never did eat purees, but pretty much went straight to table foods, assuming it was soft enough small enough.

Assuming your child is healthy, I wouldn't really worry too much about a lack of interest in food. His growht is slower in toddlerhood, than in infancy, combined with the want of independance, children can drive parents batty. The way I approach it, is my child is offered the same food as everyone else. I don't make anythign special for one child or the other if they don't like what is served. I give a little of everything and some days he eats a lot, more than I would think possible, other days he hardly eats anything. Yesterday, after during morning snack he ate 4 bowls of cereal!! I couldn't belive it! If there is a particular favorite he eats a lot more of that and skips the rest. I give 3 meals/day and 2 snacks. some foods I found my children were given many many many times before they liked it, but overall they eat pretty much everything, even things I cann't stand and would never ever eat (tripe, tendons, organs, durian, etc.) My husband likes those things, so even though I hate them, I try to not make a big deal out of things I think are gross, as it really is a cultural thing, and if you grow up liking it, whose is to say it isn;'t tasty. On the other hand, my sisters children who aren't really exposed to very many foods, especially "different" foods, are so so picky!!. They won't even eat rice!!!

I'll add, the one problem my toddler does have is he doesn't really like meat very much, he will chew it up, then spit it out, so I do give him a multivitamin for the iron and the vit D in it.
 
not to mention that a child has over 10,000 tastebuds, while and adult has only 3,000. this is why something you hated as a child, you may very well love as an adult.
 
Thanks for the advice.
We do offer him different foods as suggested. We know the importance of variety. The 2x solid food that I mentioned is referring to chicken/ pork/ fish with rice & veggi during the week for lunch and dinner. Yoghurt and egg custard are snack only.

He tried frozen mixed veggi but he likes pak choy more. For cheese and egg, he liked it before but now no more. So, my son is changing taste everyweek and hard to predict. Luckily, he can finish half of an avacado everyday lately (mixed with yoghurt).
 
Thanks for your advice. Comforting to hear that I am not the only mother who's experiencing this.

My son does eat with us at our table and although we still have to distract him, he likes prodding our adult food and taste them at the same time. The reason why we separate our food to his is because we have salt in our food. Actually what is a safe age for toddler to have salt in their food? Just worried that too much will put a strain on their kidneys.

As for meat I have given him diced meat but he puts them in his mouth, sucks out the juice and spits them out hence have to hide the meat (cut in a food processor) in his food.

Any advice on how I can encourage him to eat different varieties of fruit - he used to love them when pureed but don't now except for bananas.
 
It's best to not use salt when cooking food and to add it afterwards. That way you can give your toddler unsalted food. They don't need it anyway, things taste good to them without it.

My son has weeks when he likes fruit and weeks when he doesn't. He used to eat a banana a day and now won't touch them. He is loving watermelon however. He also eats strawberries with a tiny bit of sugar. I generally just cut fruit up into tiny pieces and leave it in a bowl so that he can help himself when he is playing. He eats more fruit this way than if i turned it into a proper eating session at the table.
 
I agree with aussiegal...there are some days when my son will devour bowls of strawberries and others when he won't touch them! The same with other fruits too.

The older he gets the pickier he seems to get, but I think some of it is him testing the control (and power) he has, and some of it is him asserting his right to eat what he wants, when he wants.

I think we get so conditioned into the idea that our babies are putting on weight and growing properly that we forget that they are the best judges of when and how much they want to eat. Forcing children to eat (if they are otherwise growing well) only creates exhausting battles.....letting children listen to their bodies telling them when they are hungry and full is the best thing (espec. when we live in an age when obesity levels are at all time highs).

Our son eats the same as us, and has done since he was just over a year old. We also don't add salt when cooking, but add it afterwards, so he's not exposed to too much salt.
And now he is more likely to reject something because it doesn't have enough flavour, rather than th other way round.
 
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