Toddler and newborn rivalry

[louisouis]

I have just returned home with my newborn, during my pregnancy, I have 'prepped' my 2.5 yr old with the "I am a big brother" story and constantly talked to him about his new status as a big brother etc etc. My elder son reacted well to my pregnancy and will touch and point to my stomach and say that that is his little brother is in my stomach... And all seems well, until I actually came back from the hospital. (We also gave my elder son gifts at the hospital saying that they are from his younger brother.) The child became a different child overnight, before he may be cheeky but now he is a tantrum divo!! Everything is a cause for great distress, all sorts of behavioral problems have become more evident e.g. throwing things, ignoring people when addressed. He usually loves to get out of the house to go to the library or the park but now he only wants to stay at home and watch dvds.... Should I discipline him or should I let him get his way while he get accustomedto his younger brother... Help Help Help

 

[lesliefu]

I am in a similar situation but (touch wood) my daughter only had tantrums for about a week or so (the new born is 2mths now)...I wouldn't discipline him, but what I did (and might work for you) is to involve the older sibling in everything you do...from changing diapers (he can get the new diaper), to feeding the baby (get the baby), to taking a bath (they bathe together now). Also, try to give some individual time to your older sibling so that he doesn't feel like mommy has deserted him for the 2nd baby....when the 2nd one is asleep I spend the time with my older one....normally it is about 2-3hours / day, just playing, reading a book or just being there whilst she plays and I read the newspaper. One other thing I try to do (as much as possible) is to keep her routines the same...I ALWAYS eat with my older daughter, and now I do that do...though she can eat by herself, I think it's an important time for us to "catch up" and really bond.

It's a handful I know - some days it really doesn't work as planned, but I don't worry too much about it...at least now she won't hit her baby sister, instead it's all kisses (sometimes bites when she gets real excited!) Good luck!

 

[Frenchy]

Same situation here, I have a 2.8 yo son, and a 7 weeks old little girl. My son has always been very nice with his little sister, talks to her, kisses her etc... sometimes so much that I have to take him away ! but with me it has been a different story. He has started to make a lot of stupid things, throwing his toys, making a lot of noise, waking her up on purpose... The first month was pretty hard for everyone as I was tired, so I was trying to discipline him and it just got worse. Now I just, like Lesliefu, spend my time with him playing when my daughter is sleeping, reading stories, playdoh, puzzles etc... and I get him involved with all the things I do at home, cleaning, tidying up, changing the baby. But on all I've talked to him, telling him that I understood it was a big change for him, but that I love them the same, and that he was unique.
It's getting better and better everyday.

 

[BabyG]

I am going through the same thing now. My toddler is 25 months and my newborn 8 days old. My toddler won't let me use my BF pillow for the baby. He has become a nightmare and hit me over the head with a book yesterday. This morning he hit me on the head with a brush! I really hope that its just a phase. I have tried including him in everything as well but he seems to want me all to himself.

 

[mariavh]

I'm going through the same thing too! My toddler is turning 2 this month and my newborn is 10 days old. The first couple of days at home were a nightmare, but now my toddler is starting to show an interest in the baby, which is great! However, we still have 1 (big) problem, and that's everytime my newborn cries, my toddler will cry even louder. Including at night! I read up on the internet that many toddlers have a fear of high-pitched baby cries, only it didn't really say what you can do about it or how long this phase lasts. Anyone been in the same situation? My husband and I are getting really frustrated and tired - not with the newborn but with our son!