nicolejoy
Registered User
I have a 14 month old who can pitch a royal fit!! If she wants something, she wants something NOW and will cry and scream and throw herself down. If she's given what she wants, she'll stop instantly. Some times it's no big deal to give her what she wants, but other times she needs to learn "no" (eg, standing up in the high chair). I find "discipline" is difficult as I'm not sure exactly how much she understands. I try not to give in to her every demand as I don't want to create a cycle of she demands, I say no, she pitches a fit and then I give in to her - but boy she is so stubborn!! My helper does give in to her and will do whatever it takes to stop her crying - but I do the majority of the child care. My husband gets really fed up with my daughter's "tantrums" and we've been trying to talk about how to deal with them.
This is my 2nd child so you would think that I wouldn't be so clueless, but my first daughter was a) much easier to calm WITHOUT giving in to her demands, and b) MUCH MUCH more communicative. My older daughter at the same age was probably already saying around 20+ words, my younger daughter is saying none. Actually, my younger daughter may possibly have some hearing loss and we're waiting on getting that assessed (I'm not 100% sure if she does or not - but she's definitely a far slower talker).
My current approach is, if she wants something and she starts to cry about it before I realise what it is she wants, I try to find out and give it to her. But if she's screaming about wanting something that she cannot have, I say no and distract her with something else (the problem is, she's onto me and usually rejects whatever I try to distract her with!!). I want her to learn that screaming isn't going to get her what she wants all the time...
I do think that the communication aspect is a big part of it - as she is unable to express what she wants as much as she'd like to. Since I know that hearing loss isn't completely unlikely, I've been trying to work on signing with her (although I'm not as consistent with that as I should be) - but to complicate things further, her fine motor skills are quite poor and many of the signs are physically impossible for her.
Are there any other tips? Anyone can relate?
This is my 2nd child so you would think that I wouldn't be so clueless, but my first daughter was a) much easier to calm WITHOUT giving in to her demands, and b) MUCH MUCH more communicative. My older daughter at the same age was probably already saying around 20+ words, my younger daughter is saying none. Actually, my younger daughter may possibly have some hearing loss and we're waiting on getting that assessed (I'm not 100% sure if she does or not - but she's definitely a far slower talker).
My current approach is, if she wants something and she starts to cry about it before I realise what it is she wants, I try to find out and give it to her. But if she's screaming about wanting something that she cannot have, I say no and distract her with something else (the problem is, she's onto me and usually rejects whatever I try to distract her with!!). I want her to learn that screaming isn't going to get her what she wants all the time...
I do think that the communication aspect is a big part of it - as she is unable to express what she wants as much as she'd like to. Since I know that hearing loss isn't completely unlikely, I've been trying to work on signing with her (although I'm not as consistent with that as I should be) - but to complicate things further, her fine motor skills are quite poor and many of the signs are physically impossible for her.
Are there any other tips? Anyone can relate?