Telling Your Family Back "Home"

A

American Girl

New member
I am 8 weeks pregnant and haven't told anyone back in the States (we are waiting until after the first trimester)
Did anyone have trouble telling your family back home that you are pregnant and planning to have the baby overseas? My husband and I both know that when and where we start OUR family is OUR decision but I am worried what first reactions may be when our families find out they won't get to share the experience with us (his family doesn't like to travel...let alone to the other side of the world, and my mom has some health issues that may make traveling difficult). I am really just worried that our family may not agree with our decision and it may ruin my first experience telling people I'm pregnant
 
Congratulations! You've already moved here, that was the difficult bit. Try to remember that any concerns that they do express come from a loving place however they're said. If they don't travel much, then they'll probably be genuinely curious about how things will work in a foreign country - it's not unusual for people who don't travel to picture the rest of the world as a scary, slightly backward place so you can say plenty to reassure them.

Having said that, you're pregnant and you and your DH are having a baby, that's your family now. Of course you'd like everyone to be super happy for you but if that doesn't happen straight away or the way you pictured it's really not such a big problem, they'll come around to the idea and you'll have lots more worries and hurdles ahead of you in the next 20 or so years (!), this will seem like the least of them!

Enjoy, it's an exciting (and slightly scary) time!
 
I found out I was pregnant three weeks after moving to hong kong and felt exactly the same as you. When I phoned my mum and dad to tell them, they were very happy for us but a bit concerned as my first pregnancy was a complicated one and they were worried that I would have the same issues again, but with no support network.

They did not "guilt" us about not seeing their grandchild while I was pregnant.... that came after she was born!!!

I am from quite a large tight knit family and it was difficult for me after my daughter was born because I wanted everybody to see her as soon as possible..... this is where Skype comes in handy!

I would suggest that you ensure your family has a computer and web cam and then it will be easier for them to deal with!

I did make the trip home when my daughter was 4 months old and it was lovely for everybody to see her for the first time. I have the added strain that my husbands family and my family live in different countries so when I head "home" with my children I have to travel a lot in order for both sets of family to see the grandchildren... sometimes I feel like I need a holiday when I get back!!!

There will be a lot of things that you will worry about during your pregnancy so please try not to let this be one of them. Enjoy your pregnancy!
 
my family was happy to hear that i was pregnant but they were worried that there will be no one close to help me with the baby as i was a first-time mum. throughout the pregnancy, they called me everyday to make sure we were doing ok. i emailed them almost everyday with the updates and how the check-ups were going and how bub was growing healthily, etc. constant communication is very important during this period.

when my due date was nearing, my sisters and brother "forced" my mum to fly to HK one last time to help me and the newborn. "forced" because mum has been here lots of times and she doesn't enjoy the tiny living spaces, pollution, humidity (i gave birth in june last year) and the language barrier. anyway, she came and that was a HUGE help to me!

maybe you can request your mum/sisters (if any)/close mummy friends to fly to HK to be with you?
 
My mum kept "complaining" about not having any grand-children, whilst almost all her close friends were already grand-mothers. So when we shared the good news with our families, both my parents as well as my in-laws were absolutely thrilled about it (it will be the first grand-child for both sides). They mentioned a couple of times that they weren't going to see their grand-child very often, but that doesn't stop them from being very excited and happy about the new addition to the family.
Skype (incl. a web cam) definitely helps a lot though. My parents regularly request to see my growing bump on the camera and we show them all the cute things we bought for the little one. Our baby will be born in about 2 months time and I'm sure we'll be using the skype camera a lot once he/she is finally here.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure your family will be very happy about the good news. Good luck with your pregnancy and all the best!
 
I am also just over 8 weeks pregnant (and having a terrible, terrible morning sickness all day and night) and we told our family and close friends in Australia when we found out at 5 weeks! and everyone's really happy for us.. although I know my mum really wishes I was back home so that she can spoil me.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck!
 
I think if you tell them with genuine excitement and happiness, they will be happy for you and hold back any negative thoughts (at least for your initial announcement). Since you are waiting, you can also have the hospital picked out and alleviate any immediate concerns from people who still view HK as more backward (I have come across a lot of people from back home who assume HK is filled with rickshaws and rice fields!!). Also, if you can travel during the second trimester, you could make a special trip home (or meet your family halfway somewhere, depending on where they are from). Ultimately, as other posters noted, it is a really good time to establish your new family, so welcome it as an opportunity! Also, as the mother of a 7 month old, I have to say that when the babies get beyond 3 months or so (when they start to smile and laugh), they are so much more fun, so make a special trip 'home' then if your family cannot see the new baby before that.
 
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