Hi all. My 8 month old has been going to bed pretty much tear free for about a month. Suddenly the last few nights he has screamed so much before going to bed. I tried to let him cry for 10 mins then visit him and pat him then walk out and repeat that but he screams at the top of his lungs like I have never heard him cry before. I have resorted to putting him into bed with me and lying with him until he is asleep or almost asleep then put him back in his bed. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice? I don't want him to develop a habit of needing me to be there when he falls asleep. I have just trained him from feeding to sleep and he was doing really well. No idea why the sudden change. Any ideas?
Strange sleep development
- Thread starter Lisainhk
- Start date
southside852
Registered User
If you continue to bring him into bed with you and watch him fall asleep him, it will definitely turn into a habit...it takes only about 2-3 days for a child then to expect it every time from you and then you're in even a bigger situation than before.
At 8 months - perhaps he's teething? Do you close the door? If so, perhaps leave the door open so he feels connected to you still even if you leave the room. We switched from closing the door to leaving it wide open for my 28 month year old and it's done wonders - - - he likes to feel connected to the family and now falls asleep in his big bed in less than 10 minutes with no crying.
I think what you were doing previously is a good strategy - going in to visit him in 10 min increments and patting him on the back. He is bound to get tired from all the crying.
We are personally pro-ferberizing so if he's not sick, checked his diaper etc... and everything seems alright - I would just let him cry it out. It worked for our son around the same age and took only about 2 nights for him to get the idea that no one was coming in....we left the door half open so we could always peek in and check on him.
At 8 months - perhaps he's teething? Do you close the door? If so, perhaps leave the door open so he feels connected to you still even if you leave the room. We switched from closing the door to leaving it wide open for my 28 month year old and it's done wonders - - - he likes to feel connected to the family and now falls asleep in his big bed in less than 10 minutes with no crying.
I think what you were doing previously is a good strategy - going in to visit him in 10 min increments and patting him on the back. He is bound to get tired from all the crying.
We are personally pro-ferberizing so if he's not sick, checked his diaper etc... and everything seems alright - I would just let him cry it out. It worked for our son around the same age and took only about 2 nights for him to get the idea that no one was coming in....we left the door half open so we could always peek in and check on him.
My 11month old is "trained" at 7 month to fall asleep by himself. He is quite good at doing it now. But every now and then he would scream and refuse to go to bed.
What we usually do then is to let him cry for a few minutes, then take him out of his bed and to the livingroom to play for a few more minutes with dim light and other adults out of his sight. We would try to put him down again after say about 10 minutes. If he cries again, we would repeat the same procedure.
It has been working for us. Well, the most it took was about 5 times before he stops fighting and go to sleep willingly.
Teething also bothered him a for a while. We know is teething pain:
When his scream seemed more painful.
when we take him out of his bed, we use " teething gel" to rub his gum, he seemed to like it.
When he is really tired but still cried hard and could not fall asleep.
Then we would give him a dose of painkiller for teething before putting him down again. It seemed to work so far too.
I hope this helps and your baby would pass through this phrase soon.
What we usually do then is to let him cry for a few minutes, then take him out of his bed and to the livingroom to play for a few more minutes with dim light and other adults out of his sight. We would try to put him down again after say about 10 minutes. If he cries again, we would repeat the same procedure.
It has been working for us. Well, the most it took was about 5 times before he stops fighting and go to sleep willingly.
Teething also bothered him a for a while. We know is teething pain:
When his scream seemed more painful.
when we take him out of his bed, we use " teething gel" to rub his gum, he seemed to like it.
When he is really tired but still cried hard and could not fall asleep.
Then we would give him a dose of painkiller for teething before putting him down again. It seemed to work so far too.
I hope this helps and your baby would pass through this phrase soon.
FutureHKmom
Registered User
Lisainhk - This is exactly what happened to us when my son was 6 or 7 months old! We gave in and had him fall asleep in our bed before moving him over to his bed. Then when he was 10 months old, we went to Sydney for a 2 week trip and because he didn't like the crib there, he ended up sleeping with us a lot - plus he was sick there and we wanted him to sleep with us so we could easily monitor his fever at night. Anyways, long story short now at 13 months I can't get him out of our bed at night! He still cries violently if we try to put him in his crib at bedtime and now even if we move him over to his crib after he falls asleep in our bed, he cries in the middle of the night and we move him back over to our bed (my husband and I both work and it's just much easier to put him in our for him to go straight back to sleep than stay up trying to comfort him to go back to sleep in his crib). Sigh....now we have a second baby coming so I need to think of a solution soon. Not really sure what to do- any thoughts out there on solving a problem that I helped created?
Oh no futurehkmom!! That's exactly what I'm afraid will happen with my boy if I start letting him sleep in my bed now! The night before last he had a screaming fit that lasted an hour because I wouldn't give in. And last night he went to bed without any fight at all. I was totally suspicious of that because it's never been that easy to put him to bed and sure enough he woke up 45 minutes later and it was another fight to get him to stay in his bed. Sigh!! My husband thinks it's easier to just let him stay in our bed but I know that it will turn into an even bigger drama later on so we are just going to have to stick at it. Last night he was protesting so much that he even pulled himself to stand in his bed and yell which I haven't seen him do before. Thanks for sharing your experience though! It spurs me on to continue the tough love. Good luck!
And thanks for the reply Carey! 
I'm pretty sure it isn't teething related. One thing I don't understand is why he doesn't fuss before his daytime naps but as soon as it comes to bedtime it's a big showdown?
And I'm a bit worried that if I let him come out to play after I have already put him to bed that he will think if he yells long enough he can come out and play. eek!!!
Babies are very unpredictable!
I'm pretty sure it isn't teething related. One thing I don't understand is why he doesn't fuss before his daytime naps but as soon as it comes to bedtime it's a big showdown?
And I'm a bit worried that if I let him come out to play after I have already put him to bed that he will think if he yells long enough he can come out and play. eek!!!
Babies are very unpredictable!
southside852
Registered User
Yep, Sazzy is right!
Also, for worst case sleeping scenarios :
The Baby Sleep Fairy
Baby Sleep Fairy - Home
She's amazing - better than Annerly's sleep consultants and most likely cheaper (we did Annerly's too). Our son was having major sleeping issues (basically napping his way through his nightime sleeps) that were not teething related a few months ago and we made a phone appt with the sleep fairy. She's American, based in Singapore and she chanaged my son's sleeping habits in about 4 nights. The first night was the hardest, but once you get through the first two nights -smooth sailing. He now sleeps from 8:30pm - 6:30am straight, with no wake-ups and in his big boy's bed
She's great on the phone - you explain your situation, baby's age, what you've done thus far etc....she assesses and gives you an action plan. What I liked about her is that she really listened to us as parents etc....
Also, for worst case sleeping scenarios :
The Baby Sleep Fairy
Baby Sleep Fairy - Home
She's amazing - better than Annerly's sleep consultants and most likely cheaper (we did Annerly's too). Our son was having major sleeping issues (basically napping his way through his nightime sleeps) that were not teething related a few months ago and we made a phone appt with the sleep fairy. She's American, based in Singapore and she chanaged my son's sleeping habits in about 4 nights. The first night was the hardest, but once you get through the first two nights -smooth sailing. He now sleeps from 8:30pm - 6:30am straight, with no wake-ups and in his big boy's bed
She's great on the phone - you explain your situation, baby's age, what you've done thus far etc....she assesses and gives you an action plan. What I liked about her is that she really listened to us as parents etc....
Hi Sazzy, Southside 852, would this nap be the early pm nap? Mine takes a short one in the am, and a longer one after lunch in the early afternoon. Thanks.
FutureHKmom
Registered User
Sazzy - for the dropping 2 naps to 1, you mean for a baby who is older than 1 year, right?
southside852
Registered User
yes, baby starts to drop his/her nap after 1....my son was late and dropped it around 15/16 months.
i think when we first transitioned the naps, we would see how long he could go before he go tired. this usually meant eating lunch at 11am instead of 12/12:30pm and then nap time was around 11:30/noon depending on what he was doing that morning. our son in the early stages would sleep for about 2.5 hours during nap time then bed at 7/7:30pm.
i think when we first transitioned the naps, we would see how long he could go before he go tired. this usually meant eating lunch at 11am instead of 12/12:30pm and then nap time was around 11:30/noon depending on what he was doing that morning. our son in the early stages would sleep for about 2.5 hours during nap time then bed at 7/7:30pm.
I'd really like to give the sleep fairy a try. Sounds good! Thanks for the link.
My son is 8 months old (almost). Does he really need to drop to 1 nap? I don't think he can handle it. He has 2 - 3 naps (one for 30 mins, one for an hour and one for 1.5 hours usually). I was kind of following this book called the NAPS plan which follows the babies sleeping patterns so I would put him to bed when I saw his sleepy signals. My friend's baby is 6 weeks older than Baylee and she sleeps 2 x 2hour naps and 12 hours at night so I'm kind of concerned about dropping to 1 nap when he already only sleeps 10 hours at night (not straight through) and has about 3 hours of naps all together.
My son is 8 months old (almost). Does he really need to drop to 1 nap? I don't think he can handle it. He has 2 - 3 naps (one for 30 mins, one for an hour and one for 1.5 hours usually). I was kind of following this book called the NAPS plan which follows the babies sleeping patterns so I would put him to bed when I saw his sleepy signals. My friend's baby is 6 weeks older than Baylee and she sleeps 2 x 2hour naps and 12 hours at night so I'm kind of concerned about dropping to 1 nap when he already only sleeps 10 hours at night (not straight through) and has about 3 hours of naps all together.
Hi Sazzy, 10+am, 2+pm, for a total of 2 hours a day.