Still unable to potty-train 3 yr. old.

E

e-mum

Registered User
I'm having a really hard time trying to potty-train my 3 yr. old son. I started training him around 2 yrs. old. Even now, he hates to go to toilet and will never tell me that he needs to wee-wee or poo-poo. It's always a big battle just to get him to the toilet.

Has anyone had this problem w/ their son and how did you deal w/ the situation?
 
everyone said go cold turkey was the sure way. find one week that he'll stay home. just let him wear his undershorts. when he pees, his legs will get wet. just change him without making a fuss, and tell him that's wee-wee. people say it takes 3 days of accidents for him to start telling you that he needs to go. he has to, if not he will always be interrupted to clean up. 3-yr olds hate to be interrupted.

at 3 he should be physically ready to hold his pee in to tell you. so if all goes well, he should start telling at day 2.

good luck!
 
For us stickers worked great. Each time he poos in the toilet he gets a sticker on a paper next to the toilet. Once we were sure about the poo we did what joannek suggests: just took off the nappy. There was a week with LOTS of laundry and then he got the idea. Try to stay relaxed, he'll soon get it. Good luck!
 
We went cold turkey. At 2y9m (so old enough) I told her the diapers were bye bye. We had several accidents that weekend and that was it. She had an occassional accident but less than once a month, now it's about once every 2 months (usually at night, and there is a lot going on). We combined cold turkey with stickers and m&m's. Number 2 took a little longer, but was also under control as soon as she turned 3.
 
We are in the throes of this right now. Does anyone know where to get one of those dolls that makes a wee in Hong Kong? I don't need it to be anatomically correct nor do I need it to cry or anything, I just want something to show my daughter how it goes pee pee. Anyone seen a (preferably not expensive) one around town?
 
I'm having the same problem with my son who'll be turning 3 soon. He's also needs to be toilet trained before starting kindy so I'll probably have to defer his start date now!!

I sort of left it late and never really introduced it earlier because he was so resistant to being near the toilet/potty, and all the books say don't force them.

So for the last few days, he's just been wearing underpants and there have been many accidents. At first, he would tell me he's having a wee during actually having one. Now he says wee before it comes but won't pee in the toilet/potty, so I think he doesn't want one and put his underpants back on, and he wets himself 5 mins later.

We've always left the door open when going ourselves, and lately he's taken an interest in flushing the toilet. So now, I've told him he can only flush it if he has a wee in there.

He's not interested in rewards (stickers) and doesn't actually like to eat sweets!!, so any other tips would be great.
 
well, no advice as my boy was virtually toilet trained(day time) before he was 2 (he did it himself, we only encouraged him a little).

but, we are about to start night training for the 3rd time!!! we are going to australia in october and i've told my son that they dont' sell "big boy nappies" there. also, we are renting a motorhome, so i've told him that the people will be VERY angry if he goes wee on his bed in the motorhome, so we are going to "practice" at home.

we've just bought some plastic to go under his sheets and i'm preparing for a big battle!

any words of wisdom???
 
Stickers, treats, no tempting worked with our 28 month old girl, she refused to sit on the potty. Nor did she feel peer pressure seeing her 9 month old sis weeing in the potty. Even tried the mummy weeing in the toilet in front of her and all I got was clapping and "clever mummy wee wee in the potty!". Was sure she was ready, so finally decided not to follow the books which said it should not be forced. Went cold turkey, 1st 3 days, screaming and crying for her nappy and rather wetting herself than in the potty. By the 4th day, she realised mummy has more patience than her and would not give in, and has weed and pooed in her potty since.

I never scolded her for wetting herself, just quietly explained that she was big girl now and no more nappies, and she is only getting wet and dirty cos she would not wee in the potty. I have since talked with other friends and those who went cold turkey all say it only took a few days of inconvenience and mess and their kids were toilet trained.
 
how is she at night?

i've just tried to wake my boy to take him to the toilet....him crying the ENTIRE time.

"i don't want to! i want to sleep! i don't want to wee wee!"
 
Strangely enough, she has not really wee-ed during sleep since she stopped using nappies during the day. I put nappies on her for sleep but they are dry when she wakes up. This morning was the only morning for the past few weeks that she has wee-ed into her nappy, and that was my fault, cos she woke up and came out of her room, but it was my fault cos I was still busy feeding baby sis so could not get her to the potty in time. Does you son wet himself if you do not wake him? My daughter does not really drink much for about 2 hours before bed ans we try to get her to wee before bedtime, so that maybe why she does not need to middle of the night.

I must say though, I find it quite cute when she is in a rush to wee 1st thing in the morning and then points at what she has done and say "Oooh, a very big one"
 
my son sleeps like a log... he doesn't wake up at all, even if he's wet, which is why i am waking him up to go. i'm hoping that he'll get used to getting up to do it and then do it naturally after a while.

the lollipop bribe seemed to work as he got up last night, twice to wee and didn't wet his bed. he also slept later (much) than he normally does... he usually wakes around 6 but this morning it wasn't until 7am! YEAH!
 
Andrea, (and anyone else that has gone cold turkey or has any advice...!) When you went cold turkey, did you buy regular knickers or those training pants?
Having a bit of a mad time with mine at the moment. Read all the books on potty training. Unfortunately the 'window' when she seemed just right for it, happened to coincide with 3 months of madness - me having another baby and moving home and country (a big no no in the books). Now we're in a nice routine, but toddler stubborness seems to have set in. She knows when she wants to go, but finds the nearest private space and does it in her nappy there. When we ask her to go to the potty, she screams something like 'no, I'm doing poo poo in the cupboard!!' and if there's a door nearby, she'll slam it shut to stop me going near her. She also seems to enjoy having her nappy changed 'cos it's just like her baby brother. Thinking of just stocking up on detergent, going shopping for big girl knickers / training pants??and not arranging to go out much for a week or so. Ahhhhh!
 
i got bored at home during the typhoon last week so decided to potty train my son (2 yrs 4 months). I have a 5 week old baby as well so all potty training books suggest that it is not a good time to start.....

I went cold turkey - straight into regular underpants on wednesday. he wee'd and poo'd his pants until Friday morning - when to be honest I was thinking I might need to give up as he didn't seem to have a clue what potty training was all about. On Friday afternoon we went to visit a friend of his who is recently potty trained. That afternoon when she went to the toilet. so did he. we haven't had a single accident since. we now reward him with stickers and lollipops to keep up the motivation as sometimes he says "had enough toilet!"

He does prefer the toilet to the potty. We have one of those soft toddler seats on the toilet for him.
I also went out and bought the baby bjorn potty which is far more comfortable for them.

we put a nappy on him for naps and and at night and I can't believe how dry they are when he wakes. Its incredible.
 
Like most of the replies here, I too went cold turkey with my son (2yrs 3 months).
I chose a week when we had no activities and made my husband do all the food shopping (we have no helper) and prepared myself for a week indoors.

The first two days were a nightmare with me spending all day mopping up the floor and feeling really frustrated. However, by the third day, things were improving and my son managed to wee in the toilet sitting on a soft toddlers seat. Everyday improves a little and by day seven he is fully trained.

The main things is you really have to promise yourself to be patient and strong and really go through with it even when you feel like giving up. I was literally crying and felt like giving up after day 2 as there didn't seem to be any improvement but I kept saying, one more day, one more day and it does get better. So hang in there. Some children will take longer than others so don't give up.

My problem now is trying to teach my son to wee standing up. Even after numerous demonstrations by my husband, he still prefers sitting.
Any suggestions?
 
I forgot to add that I decided not to use training pants but just let him roam around in his trousers so that he could feel how wet he was when he wet himself.
 
Thanks - I'm inspired and I'm going for it from today. We've just had a big 'you did a wee wee on the toilet' ice - cream celebtration. (She managed it this morning. She didn't have a nappy on at the time, so it may have helped). Going to go shopping for proper knickers just like mummy's in abit and then will have the mop and washing machine on standby. Here goes...!
 
the first day we put our boy into underwear, he wet 5 pairs in about 3 hours!

the next day, he was virtually dry with only 1 or 2 accidents.

by the end of the week, he was pretty much trained, at least for the wee... took us a little longer for the poo. i think he didn't want to dirty his potty. but once he finally got one in the pot, he was ok
 
My son is also 3 and we also did cold turkey a few weeks ago, with stickers etc etc. He does fine if we take him to the toilet at regular intervals (every couple of hours for him). But if we don't tell him to go, he just wees in his pants. We tried telling him that part of being a big boy is knowing when you need to go, and that we wouldn't remind him so much anymore, and he just weed his pants 4 times in a row. After two weeks of this we went back to nappies for a while.

Now I'm not sure when to try big boy pants again. He's apparently supposed to be toilet trained for kindy in a couple of weeks. Can I just send him in pull ups? He's unlikely to poo when he's at kindy, and he can perform on demand when someone sits him on the toilet (they have toilet time in the schedule). So I think it won't be a big problem - guess we'll have to wait and see.
 
jenayds, you may find that your son will train a lot quicker once he has started kindie. As you mentioned, the school will take them to the toilet on a schedule and he will copy what the other children are doing. Also the aunties and teachers are very helpful.
I have a friend who never really toilet trained her two girls, but sent them to preschool at about two and a half years old. The aunties and teachers at the school took them to the toilet on a schedule, the girls copied other children and they were trained within a week! I'm not saying this will happen to every child, but I think it will definately help for your son to see other children doing the same thing.

Also, you might need a chat with your sons school as some schools don't allow children to be in pull ups when they start K1/nursery (our sons school doesn't allow this). So you might need to put some extra trousers in his bag just in case.
 
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