Sleeping school for 3 months old

adahc

adahc

Registered User
we probably need your help with our 3.7 months old son.
He sleeps generally from 7pm to 2am. then awake again around 4am, then 7am.
We are trying to train him to go through the night without waking up and droped the feed (solely breastfeed since birth) during the night.
We used to rock and carry him to sleep but he gets rather heavy so we droped that to. last night was a nightmare as we put him down at 7pm his bedtime and he cried so much for 10 minutes and I had to be by his bedside the whole time. But thn he settled into his sleep until the ususal time 2am. I heard him wake up but he then went to sleep by himself after huffing and puffing. He then woke up again at 4pm. This time he cries. We still did not pick him up but rub him and shhh him till he went back to sleep. It took half an hour and the cry was louder and louder the he stoped by himself.
He then woke up at 6am and cries so I fed him thinking that he might be hungry. He drank a lot but obly on one side (mide you after skipping the feeding at 2am, my breast is full enough). He then became wide awake until 7.30.
I can see that he was tired so I put him to sleep again but not rocking him. he cried his head off. I let him cried then when he settled down a little I went in to rub him. When he heard my voice he got louder and louder. I had to leave it again for 5 minutes then went back in. I did this for 4-5 times until the last time I had to hug him while he was still in bed (not picking him up) and shhh him to sleep.
Am I doing the right thing?
Should we do this during the day time as well as the night time becausewe always carry him and rock him to sleep both day and night ...which we regret now.
 
Some children don't sleep through the night until they are much older. It's unrealistic to expect every baby to sleep through from a young age - especially a breatfed baby (well, done, by the way!).
I would give the 'new routine' a few more nights. If you're there with him, then that's good.
My son didn;t sleep through until well after five months - then we took him to the UK, and it took us until 11/12 months to really sleep through consistantly again.
 
Your schedule actually sounds pretty good! It might be unrealistic to expect much more at this age. You could try waking him for a 10 or 11 pm feed and then seeing if he gets through till closer to 6 am but if not, then I'd just stick with what you're doing at the moment.
 
adahc,

you are showing much more courage than I ever could muster. I just cannot stand hearing my son cry, not even a minute. I know its healthy to let them cry and they will have to go through this in order to learn to sleep alone, but to this day I have not been able to do it. And 10 minutes of crying is quite a good record - I have heard stories of crying for 45 min to an hour !! Kudos to you :)
 
Just to put things in perspective - our daughter was waking up every hour until she was 6 months old. Litteraly. Round 8 to 10 times a night, an excellent night was when she would wake up "only" 6 times. And yes, we did all sort of sleep consultation (sleep clinic) etc. At the end she just had to get over it, no-one, including specialists, could really help. If I had to change something back in time - I would listen more to my heart and less to specialists.
It will get better. I would follow your intuition with your baby. Good luck!
 
agreed, every baby is different and you can't expect that your little one will sleep through just because your friends' babies did.

my girl slept beautifully until she could roll over (around 4 months) and now she still wakes up at least twice per night and she's almost 15 months old.
 
But how much should he sleep during the day? Mine only sleep 3 hours in the morning (or sometime afternoon) then an hour in the afternoon (or in the morning) depends on the day. But never 4 hours during the day.
 
Your son sounds like he is doing a good job for a 3 month old bub. Everyone's right. Not all babies can do the marathon sleep through the night.

Back home, we had a government funded "sleep clinic" that you could go to. Basically its for mums who are so exhausted by the bubs who don't want to sleep for a variety of reasons including cradling. Or you can hire private midwives to help you go through the motions of "training" your bub. I know mums in my mother's group in Sydney who one or the other. I used Gina Ford's controlled crying method so by 5 weeks, bub was sleeping from 6 - 10 pm, woken at 10 for a "midnight feed" then slept through til 6-7 am.(Sounds like your 3 month old is doing well - perhaps an earlier "midnight feed") That way ALL of us got rest. But the first couple of tries of controlled crying requires "a heart of steel" - not everyone can handle it. If you don't have "a heart of steel", the midwives are there to hold your hand through the entire process.

Why don't you try approaching Annerly Midwives? I know another midwife agency but I can't recall their name. Will have a think and pop in again if I remember.

Good Luck!
 
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