Sick of my & tired of helper!!!

J

joyofliving

Registered User
After being patient with her for the last 3 months (Since we hired her) I am getting really sick of my helper. She is average in cleaning but when it comes to being responsible and taking ownership of things she is good for nothing. I have to tell her everything she needs to do from doing laundry, to emptying the garbage. She is careless with my 2 year old (So many incidents I can quote.... drives me mad) and I cannot even think of leaving our new born in her care. She can hardly cook anything new even if I give her the recipe and explain to her what she needs to do (Ending up wasting food quite often). Is this the case with all helpers? What should I do? Fire her? This won't be easy on my conscience :(
 
I wouldn't hesitate one second... I can understand that some helpers prefer detailed week plans to taking some initiatives and have to learn somehow, but when it comes to trust, babies and kids, I think you could find someone else who fits better with what you expect and not feel stressed... and that's surely not the good time for you !
 
I would fire her because it will only get worse. But it also sounds like you need the help given you have two young ones so I would wait until you've signed with a new helper before giving her notice. We had a helper that we employed for 3 years. For three years she drove me mad. And I hesitated mainly cause she wasn't that young anymore (so was concerned as to whether she'd be able to find a new employer) and because she actually worked for my cousin for 16 years before we employed her. (Couldn't figure out how my cousin could have employed her for that long but that's a separate issue). Anyways, she wasn't the best cleaner, wasn't a good cook, not good with my son and just in general pretty lazy. Anything that I tried to teach her she wouldn't be too interested in learning and/or would basically go back to her own old way from before in a matter of just a couple of weeks. Anyways, I finally made up my mind to find a new helper when I found out I was pregnant with my second. It was the best decision ever! It did take me a little while to find someone I liked but I am so much happier now. It's really not worth paying someone to do a lousy job and to get all worked up over it.
 
helpers are supposed to be doing just that... HELPING. it sounds as if you have been more than fair with her. if she is making your life more difficult, then she is not doing her job.

do not feel guilty about it. find someone who fits with your expectations and requirements.

think about it this way:

if she were working in a different job (say an office, a bank etc) and you were her boss and she performed the way she is performing now.... would you keep her? or would you let her go? i think the answer is pretty clear...

good luck! there are lots of hard-working, excellent helpers out there. i hope you are able to find one!
 
geomum, you have just delivered and you have a 2 year old. I would first arrange a replacement before firing her.
 
yes - I would try to find a replacement...if it means writing out lists of things for her to do, then I guess you will have to do that in the mean time. have you tried talking to her...perhaps even writing down your expectations for her when handling your kid....does she have a kid of her own? you don't want to be left with 2 kids on your own at this point in time...even temporary help would be nice for a few hours a day - say from your mother in-law / good friend... they have different standards and sometimes you just have to write it out REAL clearly for them to understand what you want.
 
In many jobs you get a three month probation. It is not going to work it is best to move everyone on now before it (could) get ugly.
 
Last week we were at a Wing on and my daughter was with her at the other end of the store. I called for her when it was time to leave and she alone came walking towards me. I asked where my daughter was and she pointed down few isles and said "there". How foolish can one get than this?
 
geomum, please make sure your daughter is never out the the sight of your helper as a friend of mine has just told me some horrible stories about kidnapping in hk
 
geomum, i agree with the rest about finding a replacement first before giving her notice. and make sure she doesn't find out about your search for a replacement just yet. for the meantime, may i suggest that you give her a detailed schedule to save yourself from repeating what you need her to do everyday. for example: 6am - cook breakfast; 7am - do laundry, etc. goodluck!
 
I have to agree with everyone else. If she's not helping and adding more stress to your life, then definitely find a replacement. There are some really great helpers out there.

My first helper drove me looney,and I was sooo happy when she finally left us. Our second was amazing, and our third is good too.

Good luck!
 
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