Separation Anxiety

[bbc mom]

My 10month old is now showing signs of separation anxiety even though I am a stay at home mom who has never left him in the care of a babysitter. Before he would always be content to play by himself when I had things to do, however he now starts to get distressed and sometimes cry when I need to take a bathroom break or cook in the kitchen. On top of this, he has become clingly and wants to be carried all the time, and fusses everytime I put him down to play or put him in his chair to feed him even though I am only one foot away from him. Sometimes he doesn't even want Daddy to hold him.

I just wonder how to handle this, and how long it is expected to last. At the moment, if I need to leave the room I tell him where I'm going and that I will be back soon, and usually keep on talking so that he can still hear me. Any suggestions would be great. Sleeptime is no problem, only during the day. Thanks.

 

[Matty]

The majority of babies show signs of separation anxiety at this age to some degree, it is perfectly normal.
It is a sign that your baby is secure and knows how much you love him.
It is probably made worse BECAUSE you have never left him with a babysitter.
He hasn't learn't that sometimes mummy goes away, but that's OK because she always comes back.

Start small by leaving him with Daddy, (remember he loves Daddy too!) even if it is just to go to the kitchen to cook dinner. (You would need to be able to close the door).
It's Ok if he cries, no one is hurting him, he's just communicating that he'd prefer to be with you right now.
You'd be surprised how quickly he'll settle if you just give him some time.
You'll find that eventually he'll become comfortable being with other carers if he learns to feel safe without you.

And of course he'll be delighted when you come back.

The sooner you deal with it the better, I've seen this continue beyond 18mths!

 

[nanzbier]

My daughter seems to act that way when she is teething. She will not let anyone hold her except me...cannot put her down, cannot leave the room, etc. Usually after her teething, she is back to normal again. This is what I noticed a few times during her peak teething pain.

 

[loupou]

It continues for some time. You just have to deal with it and try to be cheerful and not let them think there's a reason to be upset.

Just say stuff like "Mama's just going to the toilet, I'll be right back" and then go and do what you need to do.

Easier said than done, I know. So that's why I sometimes ended up taking the kids into the bathroom with me...