re: 15 month old cries and screams at night. Help!

L

louisouis

Registered User
re: 15 month old cries and screams at night. Help!

In desperate for some advice. As my husband and I have been working horrendous schedules for the past year, we must confess that we have not been very stringent about our little boy's sleeping patterns. We find that the baby tends to go to sleep at around 10pm and wakes up at around 1 am wanting to be petted by to sleep again. But usually my helper will do this and we discovered that he has developed a very deep attachment to her that he even gets separation anxiety when she pops into the loo. So my husband and I have tried to comfort him when he cries at night but he will start screaming and screaming and will not stop for a very long time or unless my helper goes to him (he then stops immediately...cheez...) Help! what should I do. My husband thinks that I am a useless softie as I rush to comfort my baby even though he screams. my husband thinks that we should just leave the baby alone to cry and cry... but my baby actually wil cry and stand up and try and climb out of his crib. Advice please....
 
A friend suggested Dr Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" which details the progressive approach to sleep training (not controlled crying)!

It is brilliant and I wish I had had it from birth for both my kids. The book is about finding the reason for why baby/person wakes (which you have already identified) and suggestions and case studies for solving it.

It also helps explain sleeping in general (are your own sleep patterns good?). Good luck!

I find it more useful than a chapter on sleep in a general baby book.
 
is there any way you can fix your schedules so that you spend more time with your child? IHe is clearly used to getting comfort from your helper and not from you. He's probably a little confused about who his parents are. I know working and getting up for babies at night is tough but my opinion is it's the parents job to do it no matter how hard. It won't last forever after all.

I work and have 3 children under the age of 4 but no matter how exhausted i am we would never get our helper to get up for our children. I would be heartbroken if i was in the room and any of my children cried for my helper over me!

I wonder if your boy cries so much at night simply because it's the only time he can get everyone's attention.

I don't know that the problem is really resolvable by reading a book in this case. My gut feel is he just needs more time with his parents.
 
My girl used to wake up and cry(7-8mths) and will not stop till she sees me. If hubby goes in, crying is non stop or even louder.
These days, she still wake up at night around 1-2am for a feed, I breastfeed her and she usually goes right back to sleep.I work, we have no helper and she is almost 10mths old now.
I read somewhere sleeping through the night is like a devlopement milestone, when she is ready she will. It will not last forever so that's what keeping me going on!
 
My Son also wakes up in the night, cry but your case is much worse and I do feel you pain. The nighttime routine should have as little interaction as possible according to my pediatrician. Have a set bedtime routine, bath, story, bottle, song bed (whatever it may be) make sure its dark and leave. If he cries let him be for at least 15 minutes.. I know its heart breaking but you have to let him learn how to self soothe. If after 15 minutes he's hysterical (more than just whyning and moaning) go in keeping the room dark, DO NOT pick him up but tuck him back in with his blanket maybe pat his butt or rub his back for a minute or two, say in a calm soothing voice that its time to go sleep and then leave. Try to let him cry it out... only go in after at least another 15 minutes.. try for longer and let him find a way to self-soothe. I know its hard but it will benefit the both of you in the long run. Every night you do this it WILL get easier. I want to repeat that this is what my pediatrician (whom I love!) gave me this information and it has worked wonders for me and I am happy to report that he is finally sleeping through the night. Hang in there through this rough time.. he will eventually grow out of it. If you need a break, don't be afraid to put him in a safe place such as a crib or playpen and walk away (even if its just outside your door) and let him cry. It does not mean you are a bad mom, we all need a break sometimes and nothing can get to us more than hearing our precious angels crying. Ask for help and have babysitters on hand to get a chance to re-coup and gather strength. Good luck to you and I hope this helps in some small way.
 
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