Questions when interviewing potential DH?

K

kiwiinoz

Registered User
Hi all

We've finally decided we want to get a domestic helper, but I am unsure what to ask and look for when interviewing potential applicants (most important is they be loving to our kids, and have the ability to do the housework). I tend to be the type of person to see the good in everyone, and I worry I might be led on by applicants...

Are there any good questions to ask?
Are there any good/bad signs to watch out for?

What questions did you ask your prospective DH's?

I've also had a DH in the building we live beg me to employ her. She's currently employed, but tells me she will terminate her contract and go back to the Phillipines to sign up with a different agency to work for me because she loves my kids (and her current employer treats her badly.. she gets hit, has bite marks from the child, etc). I'm not sure this is the right thing to do, as nice as she is.
Is there any ettiquette/protocol for this kind of thing?

Any and all advice .. please...
 
You want to see how they react with your child/children (do they get down to child's level, does the child seem comfortable with her?).

Other questions:
* What is your family situation? (who are they sending money back for?)
* Do you like children? What do you like about looking after children?
* Why did you leave your last three jobs?
* What are some of the activities you would do during the day to keep children entertained?
* What are your feelings on setting boundaries and discipline? (we wanted someone who could say no to our child when it required. She looked after our children, our children were NOT her employer!)
* What is your least favourite part of being a helper? (weaknesses such as cooking or cleaning)
* The baby has been crying for an hour and nothing seems to work. What do you do?
* The baby vomits a feed, feels very hot, falls asleep and you can't wake them up. You can't contact us. What do you do? (Right answer: call an ambulance)
* I ask you to do something and you don't quite understand or are unsure of the request. What do you do?

Hope these help.
 
I am not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I've gone through 4 DH in a year and half to have finally found a GEM!... at last... we have a wonderful DH.

(1) NEVER believe anything a DH tells you about their current employer - I have been made to look like a b**** because they weren't happy that the got fired and I have a reputation... the Terminator. They will NEVER admit that they have a fault.
(2) DHs will say whatever it takes to get the job... especially experienced DHs who have been around for awhile. NEVER hire one who wants to break their contract or cannot fulfill a contract term.
(3) If they have been around in HK, always ring more than one reference. We've had one whom we've spoken to their one reference, it turned out to be someone they knew pretending to be a reference (a Chinese lady) and we hired her in the end as she turned out to be a dud.
(4) Give them lots of situations... see if you like their reaction. Bear in mind... point (2)... Think of your own personal situation. Always ask questions related to your personal needs.
(5) When asked if they can cook, ask them... the answer should be more than pasta, fried rice... any good DH who has worked for an English speaking family can give you a detailed answer apart from "pasta with meat sauce"... and if she's an Indonesian, check if she can read... if she can read.. ask her to explain... we hired one... she could read.. but couldn't understand what the cook book said... when asked to look for the insurance paperwork despite being shown a sample while my son had a raging 40 degree fever, walked away because she couldn't understand. And this was with YMCA English classes over 3 years!
(6) Do you mind if your day off was NOT on Sunday if we have guests from overseas, or need you to work on Sunday? Do you mind taking the day of on another day if required?

And lastly, Use the Helper's Helper to help you with the questions you may not think of... it's a fantastic resource... I think you can get it from Rani from ShopinHK.
 
I completely agree with Spockey - never believe what they say about their previous job unless you hear straight from the employers mouth. Things to think about when interviewing - cooking, childcare, certified in first aid/cpr, experience with the age range of your child, what do they do on their days off, how long they have been in HK for, family situation, if breaking a contract - why?
 
I agree with the last two posters. Don't believe too much they say as they are trying to get a job. We went through 2 in a year before finally get a good one. We were naive the first two times round but not the third. We had one who couldn't cook at all but said she could. In fact she couldn't do anything, was just hopeless.
The second one was completely deaf but having been in HK for over 10 years knew all the ruses.At the interview she said she had trouble understanding our accents! She denied being deaf the entire time she was with us and was really lazy. Wanted to live out and start at 10am... We had a new born at the time and a 16 month old so I couldn't leave her alone with them as she never heard them crying.
She bitched about us a lot to every helper in the building so we had a tough time finding a replacement. In the end we got lucky and found one but every time she would go to the playground helpers would ask her about how bad we were. She ignored them but now 6 months on is friends with all of them and they realise our previous helper was a liar and we're not so bad!

I think you have to work out what is most important to you. It's almost impossible to find a helper who is good at everything and has a good attitude. I prefer to go with newer helpers as the ones who have been here for ages know all the tricks and only want to do things their way.

I would ask if she feels comfortable being given a schedule for the first few weeks so she can get an idea of how you
want things to go. The alternative is leaving her to it but imagine if you got a new job and your boss just left you to it and expected you to just know what he wants you to do. Doesn't work.

It's important you set her expectations appropriately. It is better to scare them a little by saying the job will be hard, the kids are tiring etc and seeing if they are still ok than letting them think they are going to get an easy ride. That way they can only be pleasantly surprised if things work out easier and they'll have nothing to complain about if they don't! Remember that they think westerners are easy compared to Chinese and they want to work for us because of this.

As you have children I would definitely hire someone who has children of her own. Our first one didn't and she was absolutely clueless. I found out that mothering doesn't come naturally to everyone!

There's so much good advice on this forum about this exact matter. Do some searchs and you'll be ready to go for the interviews!

Definitely check out threads about remuneration. I think most agree to start at a certain wage and if she's working out in 3 months you agree to raise her salary to x. This is far better than starting out being generous only to be disappointed you got a dud. Better to give her something to work towards.
 
aussiegal said:
Definitely check out threads about remuneration. I think most agree to start at a certain wage and if she's working out in 3 months you agree to raise her salary to x. This is far better than starting out being generous only to be disappointed you got a dud. Better to give her something to work towards.
Click to expand...

I agree with Aussiegal... Start basic... The ones who claim to have had only wonderful experiences and deserve the higher wages are often not necessarily the ones who will live up to your expectations. Better to start low and work towards something higher... we've done that with our current helper as she's proven to be an absolute GEM! If i got a raise... she got one too :flower:
 
i am expecting a new born in jan 09, do you recommend looking for a dh with new born baby experience from previous job? I was reading some of the recommendations to hire DH who has fewer years in Hk, this would mean that they have less experience, and even a smaller percentage with new born experience.

Is it easy to train a DH to take care of new born?
 
If they've had their own children they've had newborn experience. It is of course good if they've looked after a newborn in HK but either way, it would come back quickly to them.

Experience is not all its cut out to be. As long as they are kind and loving, have had their own children they should be well suited to looking after a newborn. Most importantly if they haven't been here for years they will be open to being told how to do things exactly the way you want and not how their last employer/s wanted, or how they want to.

Wherever you can get a helper through a recommendation from a friend or a friend of a friend. Another good way is by telling a helper you like that you are looking to hire and does she know anyone good. This is actually how we found our current (fantastic) helper. She is the friend of a good friend's helper and I told her we wanted someone like her!
 
my helper currently is hopeless too. A lot of basic things she does all wrong. She came to interview telling me she knows and loves to cook. Now, my mom gotta teach her everything, when i reminded her of her answer, she pretended (with all wide eye innocence) that she has NEVER said that she loves cooking! I'm hesitating in firing her becos frankly, i'm fearful of jumping from the frying pan to the fire. At least she is kinda used to the family arrangements now and didnt steal. But god, altho i hate to use this word on anyone, sometimes her stupidity really gets on my nerves. She doesnt know how to iron my hubby's clothes and even handwashing my baby's clothes got it all tainted with colours from god knows where! And mind u, she is not required to take care of my baby cos i'm a SAHM and baby caring i'm doing it myself. (she doesnt have experience). Sorry...but really need to rant a bit. Sigh...do u all think i shud change her? A bit paranoid to do interviews again, it's like striking lottery to find a good one. Aarrgrhhhh
 
And oh, most of the "good" helpers with the experiences i'm looking for all asked if we're Chinese family. Immediately aft they know we're Chinese, they will pretend they have found an employer! All of them wants to work for Western family!

My current helper is Indonesian and speaks out of tune cantonese. I do speak Canto altho i'm from Spore and at times wondering if i shud have hired a Filipino instead so that my gal can learn English instead of out of tune Canto!
 
Ha Fennho, I know it's really awful and un PC to say someone is stupid but helpers are no different to everyone else so of course some aren't going to be einsteins. Our first helper was really thick. She meant well but she was just so thick it was impossible to put up with her. We tried though, we kept trying to teach her for 8 months before we fired her. She would cook dinner so bad I would gag and just throw it in the bin. We gave up on her cooking in the end.

But I'll never forget being in the US with her, driving along a freeway from Washington to NY and my 20 month old was playing up a bit so we opened his window to distract him. He loves looking out the window without the glass there. Anyway, she thought it would also be a good idea to give him an etch a sketch at the same time... so of course, he threw it out the window!!!!!!!!! I heard it hit the window on the way out so I asked her what happened, did he just throw the etch a sketch out the window. She was sitting right next to him, saw him do it and looked me in the eye and said no, it's down by his feet.. I asked her to give it to me knowing full well she was lying. She couldn't. I still can't believe how stupid she was to give it to him in the first place especially as he'd calmed down already. Imagine the damage it could have done if it had hit someone driving.

To make matters worse, we had a 4 month old at the time. Everytime he cried she would try to take him out of his car seat to hold him. Except of course we were driving at the time (again on a freeway) and I kept telling her it's not allowed and it's too dangerous. She just looked at me like i was an idiot.

Then there was the time she didn't put my baby's strap on when she put him into his pram so he fell straight out onto his head.

There are so many things she did but like you I said to myself, she knows my family, the kids know her, she doesn't steal...The baby falling onto his head was the last straw. Now I am so glad we got rid off her. Just the other day my husband and I were laughing at all the things she got up to with us, all the shirts she ruined, the ties (oh, you mean you don't wash ties?) all the food she wasted by cooking it so badly it was inedible.... She was fired by her next employer only 3 months after starting out with them so we're not just whingeing spoilt brats! :haha:
 
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And your comment about speaking out of tune Canto is funny. Our first helper's english was pretty bad and I used to worry thinking about how badly my kids would speak english! Our current one started with goodish english but because she is smart she has improved so much in the 6 months she has been with us that I don't worry at all. My eldest son's (2 and 8 months) english has really taken off in the last few months, he gets his present and past tenses right, has an awesome vocab, speaks full sentences and I put a lot of it down to the fact that at home he hears mostly perfect english, either from us or our helper.

Our first helper would say things like 'don't touch, it's very danger'. Even after I told her the word was 'dangerous' and even after me saying it over and over again. She just couldn't learn.

Sounds like you're not happy. Might be time to get someone else.
 
hey fennie,

actually ur helper sounds alot like my last helper back home. at the interview, she came across as realli someone sincere and honest and her agent old us, she's on transfer because, the 2nd day she arrived, her employer's dad died. she was supposed to look after the old person. hearing that, we felt sorry for her and seeing that she has experience with babies, we hired her.

it didn't take long for things to uncover. the baby's clothes were always stained from dunno what, at first she said dunno why, maybe it's the water pipes? then we found out she just recycled water from washing her clothes which were coloured to wash the baby's clothes!

all our clothes had holes she said it was the washing machine, we later found out it was from ironing...she fell asleep!

the list goes on... it was only much later we found out she only wanted to get away from the philippines, cos she had a big fight with her husband. and when all was well, she did everything to make us send her home. and the story with the last employer's dad dead? well, let's just say he's very much alive and they fired her because they found out she lies!

anyway, if i ever haf another helper... i guess i wont be so stupid as to believe everything. and stained clothes and holes in them? i will run far away too!
 
Those of you who've had problem helpers... looking back to their interviews.. was there anything that stood out that might have given an inkling of the problems to come?

I want to thank everyone for their advice.. it is invaluable..

I'm still trying to get used to the idea of domestic helpers.. as much as I have resisted having one it has become apparent we need one...

I especially love the idea of testing the maid with things like reading out of cookbooks. While cooking isn't a high priority on our list as I love to cook, watching the attitude of the maid at being asked this might be a good indicator to us for how the maid will react to direction... so thanks for that...

Where do most of you source your good maids from? Agencies? the 'other' website that has quite a list?
I don't have any friends here yet(except you gals and guys) who I could get word of mouth referral from....

Thanks again. All of your responses and experiences (good and bad) are a worthwhile learning curve for me.
 
The giveaways:

(1) Over-enthusiasm/ Over- eagerness to be employed. Yes, Mam, I can do this, do that... The answer was always Yes.

(2) Employer reference limited to just one... despite being in HK for several years.

(3) Resumes were constantly filled with completed 2 year contracts with NO renewal.

(4) Incomplete resumes... gaps of employer information for some years.

An agency I'd recommend... Overseas Employment... expensive but worth it. On Sundays, you can interview DHs who have completed their contracts and are seeking a new employer... but the queue to interview one will be long. They open at 2. The agent I used was Angel.
 
I'm local chinese, SAHM, so i'm the nightmare for local DHs who'r looking for jobs. I always only hired new DH from the philippines. reason being, if they have had experience, they will compare of what they used to do & how their previous employers treat them. lucky for you if she was tortured, but they'll always think you'r not as good. i prefer them to
1. speak fluent english,
2. write tidily, meaning they have a good way of thinking. give her a questionnaire to fill out, then you'll have an idea.
3. draw up a list of "to do"s by the day e.g. every monday, change sheets, wash in washing machine, then hang dry. wash water thermos. tues, vacuum, wipe cabinets, etc. also set rules, like prepare children's breakfast before leaving on holiday. come back at a certain time.
4. ask them what they do on their holidays, (i know, they can lie, but you sorta have an idea)

i've been using Technic for a while. quite good, they train their helpers quite well before they come. so far, i've had 2 & they clean & wash very well. follow instructions well, and very good attitude.
 
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