Question about DH's room

[mintycat]

Last week I noticed there were bags of newspaper in the back of the kitchen and I asked DH to throw them out. She said ok, she will. A few days later, I still saw those papers lying around. I am talking about 2 months worth of newspaper in three huge paper bags. I asked her how come she didn't throw them out and she said she will and went on about haven't had time to read them yet. But I really doubt she will read all the sections. I asked her if there is a reason she is keeping them (maybe to get money for recycling or something?) and she said no.

So today I went to check and they were gone, but her room is locked. I think she put them all in her room. Now as you know HK apartments are small and I don't want to accumulate so much trash. Also we have some stuff in her room and that we sometimes need access to when she is off but if she locks her room, how can we get in?

-Do you know think she is keeping the newspaper for money or something? If this is the reason, I will let her, but if she is just keeping them for future reading, I think she can at least take out the sections she is planning to read.
- Do you let your DH lock her room when she has the day off? She has never locked her room before this incident.

Am I being fair?

 

[jools]

Our helper's room is her own and what she chooses to do with it is her affair. We don't store anything of ours in her room and therefore don't need to access her room at any time. We keep this arrangement, so that our helper can have her privacy, it's the only space that she can call her own. I wouldn't expect her to store her things in our bedroom, so why would we store anything in her room.

Our children also maintain the belief that her room is her space and only go into her room with her express permission; they love playing on her bed when she's there and looking at her knick-knacks.

If your helper is putting newspapers in her room, that at the end of the day you have finished with, then I don't really see the issue. She may want to sell them for recycling or she may, as she has stated, just want to read them; I don't see that a helper wanting to read a few newspapers, in the precious little spare time she has, is such a problem. I know our helper is always taking the magazines I have bought to read her self and don't see any problem with that.

This may all sound a little harsh, but let's remember that helpers are people who just happen to live in our homes and work for us. As a person, I feel that they are entitled to their own space and what they do with it is their concern. Yes you had asked her to throw the newspapers away, but she gave you a reasonable explanation as to what she is doing with them. Maybe discuss it with her further and explain your concern about clutter in the house. Keeping communication lines open often prevents confusion and situations to get out of hand.

 

[mintycat]

I treat my DH as a member of my family too but as I have said, our apartment is small and there are somethings that I have stored in her room and she is ok with it. Certain household appliances are in her room like the iron and ironing board. The reason I don't want the newspaper accumulating in the back is that it takes up 3 huge paper bags and I could've use that space to store other things. I don't mind her recycling the newspaper but I just want her to be honest to me. If she tells me she has to save 2 months worth of newspaper before she can bring them in to recycle, then fine.

I give her all my magazines too, it's not as if I don't permit her to read when she has time off. I've noticed she only keeps People and other gossip mags but throws out the fashion magazines immediately, so that's why I am curious why she is only keeping the old newspapers.

 

[jools]

Have you explained to her about the need for storage and that the bags of newspapers are taking up valuable space? Just another thought about using her room for storage. Of course she's going to say she doesn't mind-you are her employer, what else is she going to say?

 

[mintycat]

I have explained to her that it's taking up space.

Re: storing stuff in her room. We just moved here and she was the one who unpacked the ironing board and iron in her room because she irons in there, so she can listen to the stereo or watch tv while doing it. I asked her if she wanted to put it in the kitchen and she said no because she would have to carry it to her room to iron everytime. It's not as if I am forcing things in her room. Today when I needed to iron my shirt before we went out for lunch, her room was locked and I couldn't get in. She took both sets of keys with her on her day off. I usually leave all spare keys in a console.

 

[joannek]

i think if you explain to her thatit's fine for her to recycle the newspaper, you just want her to be honest,etc. you can sit her down & talk to her nicely. & explain how you can't access the ironing board, etc if she locks her room.