stanleybaby
Registered User
This is something that I've thought about for months and it's something that I feel needs to be shared. The reason I am sharing this is to try prevent it happening in the future. When I fell pregnant, I researched the different options available for giving birth in Hong Kong. As we didn't have insurance, we didn't want to pay the extortionate prices for a private hospital. I realised that Queen Mary was the only option available to me. I wish the lack of bedside manner had been worst of it.
Giving birth at Queen Mary was one of the worst decisions of my life. It has left me completely traumatised.
After a wonderful early labour with my doula, we rushed in to Queen Mary when my contractions were very close together and strong. At the time I got to QM, I had been having contractions for 12 hours. I was in agony. Before labour, I had decided that I would have an epidural if I felt I really needed it. After 12 hours, I was begging for an epidural. I was in complete agony. In fact, I started screaming as the contractions were so intense and close together. After seeing a few student nurses, I demanded to see a doctor. As most know, your partner can't be with you before the delivery suite. Being on your own and in agony is difficult. I eventually saw a doctor, a man who looked early twenties. He was very heavy handed when feeling my stomach and when I wept, begging him for an epidural he told me that ' it would be very embarrassing to have an epidural if this wasn't real labour.' He told me that he would come back and check my dilation. He didn't come back. I really started screaming. Luckily my husband came in to check on me and seeing me in that state, demanded that I got seen to. They checked me and saw that I was 3cm and moved really fast to get me to a delivery suite. An hour later, they came in to give me an epidural. An hour is a long time when contractions are a minute apart. The care I got in the delivery suite was fine and I was so relieved to be out of pain. After a few hours, the nurse came and checked me and told me that they would be switching off the epidural so that I could push. Going from zero pain to full on contractions in a short amount of time was a complete shock to my system.
I pushed for two hours. They eventually pulled my baby out with a vacuum and in the process, they also cut me. My baby was delivered and afterwards, they took 45 minutes to sew me up.
My baby spent 6 nights in the baby care ward. They had damaged his head when pulling him out with the vacuum and because of that, he developed jaundice.
The care I received post delivery was appalling. I had to beg for new pyjamas as after the delivery, mine were covered in blood. They eventually gave them to me after grumbling about it. In six days of being on the ward, they didn't change my sheets once.
On the second day, I was in such agony and couldn't walk. I knew I'd be sore after childbirth but this seemed really bad. That same male doctor as when I was in labour came to check on me and looked down my pj bottoms, telling me I was fine. With just looking down the pjs, there is absolutely no ways he could have seen my wound. On the third day, I still couldn't walk. I kept telling the nurse and they offered me more paracetamol. I eventually looked 'down there' using a mirror. The sight will forever stay in my mind. The cut was gaping open and stitches were open and yellow. It looked infected and indeed it was. I then forced the nurse to look who then panicked and told the doctor. They gave me a round of antibiotics. That's it, they didn't clean it or check on it again.
After 6 days, I went home with my baby and shuffled and limped back barely able to stand up without assistance. I wasn't able to walk properly for over a month. I cried in agony every day. Eventually I went back to Queen Mary and demanded to be seen. They saw me and told me the stitches had popped from the infection. They pulled out the remaining stitches whilst i cried and screamed in agony. The doctor told me 'it doesn't hurt, be quiet.'
I saw a private midwife, she told me that it was the worst cut she'd seen in her career of delivering 500 babies. She asked if a qualified doctor had done it.
For two months, my mom (who luckily had booked her trip to help me out with baby for quite a while) had to help me clean the wound. I went for my six week check up at QM and the male doctor wanted to do a Pap smear with a speculum. This is whilst I had a huge cut which was still bleeding and raw and open. I obviously completely refused.
3 months later and still in complete agony, I went to see a private doctor. She told me it was infected again. She also told me that the cut was jagged and appalling- like I had been butchered.
Looking after a newborn is hard enough but doing that and also being in complete agony and dealing with the trauma of a bad birth experience, is very hard. I had problems bonding with my baby. I cried myself to sleep as I was in so much pain.
Within two weeks of seeing my private doctor the pain started to ease and the wound started to heal. 4 months later, I still have pain and realistically it will be another two months until I'm healed. I've had to see a psychologist to deal with post traumatic stress. She tells me that I'm one of many dealing with this after Queen Mary. My private doctor has told me that half the women she sees from QM, get this infection.
I realise that a lot of women don't feel like they have another choice in Hong Kong. This choice ruined a time that should have been very special. A lot of people say ' as long as the baby is healthy.' Of course that matters but Mom needs to be looked after too, mentally and physically. The care I received at QM ruined my first few months of having my newborn. I've had to spend a lot of money privately to deal with the problems that Queen Mary left me with. I wish I had gone back to my home country to have my baby. The bedside manner is not the worst thing to deal with at QM- it's the care. I wish that this was just a one in a million case, but so many women I've met recently are traumatised and physically hurt from that hospital. I urge women to go back to their home countries or to have insurance in place.
I've also met a lot of women who have had a text book birth and left QM in 2 days with no complications. One of my good fiends had a premature baby and they took care of her and her baby for a long time. They are both fine. I know bad care isn't happening all the time. However, the negligence at Queen Mary is becoming more and more common. It's getting busier and the care is greatly lacking.
We need another option in Hong Kong. There are currently two options, government or very expensive private. We need something in between. There has to be a third choice. I don't want other women to be left feeling butchered and powerless.
Having a baby is a scary and exhausting thing and doing that with added yet avoidable problems is not a great start to motherhood.
I urge women to talk about their experiences and be open and honest about it. We deserve the right to feel in control of our birth experience with professional and supportive medical care. Let's open a dialogue, please PM me if you want to share your experience so that we can support each other.
Giving birth at Queen Mary was one of the worst decisions of my life. It has left me completely traumatised.
After a wonderful early labour with my doula, we rushed in to Queen Mary when my contractions were very close together and strong. At the time I got to QM, I had been having contractions for 12 hours. I was in agony. Before labour, I had decided that I would have an epidural if I felt I really needed it. After 12 hours, I was begging for an epidural. I was in complete agony. In fact, I started screaming as the contractions were so intense and close together. After seeing a few student nurses, I demanded to see a doctor. As most know, your partner can't be with you before the delivery suite. Being on your own and in agony is difficult. I eventually saw a doctor, a man who looked early twenties. He was very heavy handed when feeling my stomach and when I wept, begging him for an epidural he told me that ' it would be very embarrassing to have an epidural if this wasn't real labour.' He told me that he would come back and check my dilation. He didn't come back. I really started screaming. Luckily my husband came in to check on me and seeing me in that state, demanded that I got seen to. They checked me and saw that I was 3cm and moved really fast to get me to a delivery suite. An hour later, they came in to give me an epidural. An hour is a long time when contractions are a minute apart. The care I got in the delivery suite was fine and I was so relieved to be out of pain. After a few hours, the nurse came and checked me and told me that they would be switching off the epidural so that I could push. Going from zero pain to full on contractions in a short amount of time was a complete shock to my system.
I pushed for two hours. They eventually pulled my baby out with a vacuum and in the process, they also cut me. My baby was delivered and afterwards, they took 45 minutes to sew me up.
My baby spent 6 nights in the baby care ward. They had damaged his head when pulling him out with the vacuum and because of that, he developed jaundice.
The care I received post delivery was appalling. I had to beg for new pyjamas as after the delivery, mine were covered in blood. They eventually gave them to me after grumbling about it. In six days of being on the ward, they didn't change my sheets once.
On the second day, I was in such agony and couldn't walk. I knew I'd be sore after childbirth but this seemed really bad. That same male doctor as when I was in labour came to check on me and looked down my pj bottoms, telling me I was fine. With just looking down the pjs, there is absolutely no ways he could have seen my wound. On the third day, I still couldn't walk. I kept telling the nurse and they offered me more paracetamol. I eventually looked 'down there' using a mirror. The sight will forever stay in my mind. The cut was gaping open and stitches were open and yellow. It looked infected and indeed it was. I then forced the nurse to look who then panicked and told the doctor. They gave me a round of antibiotics. That's it, they didn't clean it or check on it again.
After 6 days, I went home with my baby and shuffled and limped back barely able to stand up without assistance. I wasn't able to walk properly for over a month. I cried in agony every day. Eventually I went back to Queen Mary and demanded to be seen. They saw me and told me the stitches had popped from the infection. They pulled out the remaining stitches whilst i cried and screamed in agony. The doctor told me 'it doesn't hurt, be quiet.'
I saw a private midwife, she told me that it was the worst cut she'd seen in her career of delivering 500 babies. She asked if a qualified doctor had done it.
For two months, my mom (who luckily had booked her trip to help me out with baby for quite a while) had to help me clean the wound. I went for my six week check up at QM and the male doctor wanted to do a Pap smear with a speculum. This is whilst I had a huge cut which was still bleeding and raw and open. I obviously completely refused.
3 months later and still in complete agony, I went to see a private doctor. She told me it was infected again. She also told me that the cut was jagged and appalling- like I had been butchered.
Looking after a newborn is hard enough but doing that and also being in complete agony and dealing with the trauma of a bad birth experience, is very hard. I had problems bonding with my baby. I cried myself to sleep as I was in so much pain.
Within two weeks of seeing my private doctor the pain started to ease and the wound started to heal. 4 months later, I still have pain and realistically it will be another two months until I'm healed. I've had to see a psychologist to deal with post traumatic stress. She tells me that I'm one of many dealing with this after Queen Mary. My private doctor has told me that half the women she sees from QM, get this infection.
I realise that a lot of women don't feel like they have another choice in Hong Kong. This choice ruined a time that should have been very special. A lot of people say ' as long as the baby is healthy.' Of course that matters but Mom needs to be looked after too, mentally and physically. The care I received at QM ruined my first few months of having my newborn. I've had to spend a lot of money privately to deal with the problems that Queen Mary left me with. I wish I had gone back to my home country to have my baby. The bedside manner is not the worst thing to deal with at QM- it's the care. I wish that this was just a one in a million case, but so many women I've met recently are traumatised and physically hurt from that hospital. I urge women to go back to their home countries or to have insurance in place.
I've also met a lot of women who have had a text book birth and left QM in 2 days with no complications. One of my good fiends had a premature baby and they took care of her and her baby for a long time. They are both fine. I know bad care isn't happening all the time. However, the negligence at Queen Mary is becoming more and more common. It's getting busier and the care is greatly lacking.
We need another option in Hong Kong. There are currently two options, government or very expensive private. We need something in between. There has to be a third choice. I don't want other women to be left feeling butchered and powerless.
Having a baby is a scary and exhausting thing and doing that with added yet avoidable problems is not a great start to motherhood.
I urge women to talk about their experiences and be open and honest about it. We deserve the right to feel in control of our birth experience with professional and supportive medical care. Let's open a dialogue, please PM me if you want to share your experience so that we can support each other.
