Hi - has anyone given birth at the Queen Mary with their husband in the delivery room and NOT attended the Queen Mary/Tsan Yuk antenatal classes? In their rules for the delivery the hospital states that husbands will not be permitted in the delivery room if they have not attended their antenantal classes. My husband and I have been to Annerley classes and don't really want to do the Tsan Yuk ones too. I've asked Annerley for a note confirming our attendance at their classes. Will this be enough, do you think they'll let him in??!
Queen Mary and Husbands!
- Thread starter Dink
- Start date
cyberfish88
Registered User
Hi Dink,
I gave birth at QMH last March and did not attend a single antenatal class at QMH/Tsan Yuk. I also went the Annerly route. They never even asked and there was no problem having my husband in with me during delivery. I think it is just "suggested" that husbands attend a class with you. If i remember correctly, there are just restraints on using the birthing ball - that you have to have attended their classes.
You will be fine!
I gave birth at QMH last March and did not attend a single antenatal class at QMH/Tsan Yuk. I also went the Annerly route. They never even asked and there was no problem having my husband in with me during delivery. I think it is just "suggested" that husbands attend a class with you. If i remember correctly, there are just restraints on using the birthing ball - that you have to have attended their classes.
You will be fine!
nicolejoy
Registered User
I think that once you get to the hospital, they don't really look at what classes you did. I gave birth just over a month ago. I wanted to use the birthing ball, but when the class was on in English, I was already 31 weeks and the cut off was 30 weeks for safety reasons... anyway, I got to the hospital because my waters had broken but my labour hadn't started and the nurses told me I should use the birthing ball to try and help bring on contractions. I told them that I hadn't taken the classes, and they taught me how to use it then!! So even with the birthing ball, they're not actually as strict as they say they will be...
My husband attended the birth, and even got into the labour ward out of hours because I kicked up a fuss. They never asked us about the antenatal classes or looked at papers etc, he just told them he wanted to be there, they gave him the gown etc to wear, and he came on in.
When we moved here I was 30 weeks pregnant and didn't even know about the class options offered until it was too late. My husband was with me and there were no problems/questions of any kind. I really had NO idea what to expect at QMH but left there with nothing but great things to say about my entire experience...hubby included!
Speaking of husbands...my understanding at the Queen Mary is that in the birthing room your husband can be present but in the general/maternity ward he can only be present during visiting hours - is this accurate? That assumes then that once you have given birth and been cleaned up - that unless it is visiting hours - your husband has to leave?
My husband and I have just learnt in the last 2 weeks that I am pregnant and without any health insurance in Hong Kong, we are having to go the public route. Being from Australia, the hospitals there are very pro parents being involved in the post delivery time...dad giving the first bath etc etc and so the idea of my husband having to leave once I am in the general ward again is not sitting well. My husband is trying to encourage me to go back to Oz to give birth so that he can stay with me post delivery!
HKaussie - your husband was allowed into the labour ward outside of visiting hours?
My husband and I have just learnt in the last 2 weeks that I am pregnant and without any health insurance in Hong Kong, we are having to go the public route. Being from Australia, the hospitals there are very pro parents being involved in the post delivery time...dad giving the first bath etc etc and so the idea of my husband having to leave once I am in the general ward again is not sitting well. My husband is trying to encourage me to go back to Oz to give birth so that he can stay with me post delivery!
HKaussie - your husband was allowed into the labour ward outside of visiting hours?
nicolejoy
Registered User
Yep, husbands can only be in the general ward during visiting hours. They allow the husband to come and help you get "settled in" for a few minutes but then ask him to leave.
The craziest thing, I gave birth in October and when I was about to check out, there was a woman who had given birth and had just been admitted to the maternity ward only about 10 or 15 min before the start of visiting hours. Her husband was there with her and they were talking - and he went to ask the nurse something only maybe FIVE minutes before visiting hours started, and they told him to leave!! I thought that was pretty crazy, because he just went outside and was back in a couple of minutes later!!
I missed not having my husband in the ward more - but not enough to want to go to Australia to give birth!! We did consider that (we're Australian too) but thought there were more negatives than positives for going that route...
The craziest thing, I gave birth in October and when I was about to check out, there was a woman who had given birth and had just been admitted to the maternity ward only about 10 or 15 min before the start of visiting hours. Her husband was there with her and they were talking - and he went to ask the nurse something only maybe FIVE minutes before visiting hours started, and they told him to leave!! I thought that was pretty crazy, because he just went outside and was back in a couple of minutes later!!
I missed not having my husband in the ward more - but not enough to want to go to Australia to give birth!! We did consider that (we're Australian too) but thought there were more negatives than positives for going that route...
carang
Registered User
also, keep in mind, in QMH the nurses do the baby bathing, NOT you, but after my two c-sections, i can honestly say, if the bathing had been up to me, it wouldn't have gotten done. there was no way that i would have been up for it. (can't say what it is like with natural birth, never even been in labour!)
Personally, I didn't think it was that big a deal that my husband couldn't stay with me after the birth. It was late at night and you just want to sleep, right, in between feeding baby. I think even if it was the middle of the day, you'll just want to sleep whenever you can. The biggest deal for me was the worry about husbands not being allowed with you in the 'side ward' if you go in in labour but you're less than 3cms. There, you can't have your hubby with you and you can't have pain relief, should you want it. A silver lining for me, in having to be induced, was that I avoided the side ward business and went straight to the labour suite. For my next, I'll definitely invest in an Annerley Midwives' Doula so I can comfortably delay going in without worrying I'm leaving it too long so we can go straight to the labour suite.
MisB
Registered User
I am delivering in QM in July and have come to terms with it! I am from the States and husband is from Australia - we thought about delivering in one of the 2 countries but then decided to stay in HK. First baby - don't know when it will happen, etc.
There were certain things that I did not like about QM - main reason that my husband could not be with me at all times. BUT, it is only like 3 days in the hospital and then you go home. Trust me, I am not has laye back as this last paragraph sounds but one important thing to us is we are having an Annerlet DOula come to our place until we are ready to go to the hospital! That is really what is putting my mind at ease!!
There were certain things that I did not like about QM - main reason that my husband could not be with me at all times. BUT, it is only like 3 days in the hospital and then you go home. Trust me, I am not has laye back as this last paragraph sounds but one important thing to us is we are having an Annerlet DOula come to our place until we are ready to go to the hospital! That is really what is putting my mind at ease!!
carang
Registered User
after having gone through it, i can assure you that it isn't as bad as it seems. i've done it twice and been hospitalised in the maternity ward 13 times....i actually started to look at it as a retreat. i know it sounds strange, but when i was at home, i worried about hubby, i wanted to play with my son and felt guilty that i couldn't... at the hospital, what i did was pretty much up to me.
now, i realise going when you are in labour is different to what i experienced, but i just wanted you to know that it really isn't awful.
just a couple of quick pointers:
soho delivers will deliver to hospital
have a shower in the morning, they are usually cleaned around 9-10am and i always tried to be first one in after they were done.
eyepatch and earplugs are ESSENTIAL
if you go in early, take a laptop, ipod or some such to keep your mind off things...
now, i realise going when you are in labour is different to what i experienced, but i just wanted you to know that it really isn't awful.
just a couple of quick pointers:
soho delivers will deliver to hospital
have a shower in the morning, they are usually cleaned around 9-10am and i always tried to be first one in after they were done.
eyepatch and earplugs are ESSENTIAL
if you go in early, take a laptop, ipod or some such to keep your mind off things...
M
MLBW
Guest
Oh, thanks for posting the information here. I am always interested to hear about the actual situation in HK hospitals.
More and more I know that it wouldn't have been okay for us to have our baby in a public hospital here in HK (we decided to go back to the States--where I'm from--husband is Hong Kong Chinese) as I really depended upon my husband and mother's support throughout labor (a long one--43 hours w/out pain meds).
I would say they did the brunt of the work in helping me and the midwife was there as a "lifeguard" in case something went wrong etc. It would feel very lonely and frightening for me to be in labor for the first time (and to have the type of labor I had) without my husband and mother there. I can guess that I would have probably hyperventilated and then they would have had to sedate me and one thing leads to another, y'know. Just having my husband and mother there had an extremely calming effect--especially since my husband was trained in a 3-month course on how to help in labor as was my mom--he got to "catch" our son, cut the umbilical cord and be present for the first bath as well as many other things. he midwife stood by and instructed him at crucial points. He slept in the bed next to me while I recovered--I couldn't walk for about two days afterward without passing out.
I don't know how QMH is but a friend who delivered at a public hospital in Mong Kok told me her horror story and I was shocked--from what she said, the nurses are heartless and not helpful (during labor she had to manually adjust the bed incline with a rusty crank because the nurses refused to do it. Babies crying all night long with no help from hospital staff--only to find out the baby was hungry but the new mother was not instructed on what to do or how to take care of the situation).
Especially alarming to me is this. When I watched this story break on the news, I was about 8 weeks pregnant. It's very rattling to me now because after I delivered the placenta I did hemmorhage--very nearly had a transfusion. The midwife who was there was also the physician I had my last trimester checkups with. The first time she saw my face she said, "I've been delivering babies for 30 years--in hospitals, homes and birth centers and you, my friend, have red hair and fair skin. I don't want to alarm you, but in my experience, for some reason, those women with your features often have bleeding problems." So, when I did, in fact have bleeding problems, she quickly set about saving my life because mentally she was prepared. I don't think with the modern medicine available that we should be reading stories about women bleeding to death in childbirth--especially when it's because there just isn't a doctor around to help.
And of course, no one wants or expects to have a crisis like that happen to them in childbirth but if it does, my husband and I sure as heck need to know that a competent doctor who gives a damn is there to save me.
More and more I know that it wouldn't have been okay for us to have our baby in a public hospital here in HK (we decided to go back to the States--where I'm from--husband is Hong Kong Chinese) as I really depended upon my husband and mother's support throughout labor (a long one--43 hours w/out pain meds).
I would say they did the brunt of the work in helping me and the midwife was there as a "lifeguard" in case something went wrong etc. It would feel very lonely and frightening for me to be in labor for the first time (and to have the type of labor I had) without my husband and mother there. I can guess that I would have probably hyperventilated and then they would have had to sedate me and one thing leads to another, y'know. Just having my husband and mother there had an extremely calming effect--especially since my husband was trained in a 3-month course on how to help in labor as was my mom--he got to "catch" our son, cut the umbilical cord and be present for the first bath as well as many other things. he midwife stood by and instructed him at crucial points. He slept in the bed next to me while I recovered--I couldn't walk for about two days afterward without passing out.
I don't know how QMH is but a friend who delivered at a public hospital in Mong Kok told me her horror story and I was shocked--from what she said, the nurses are heartless and not helpful (during labor she had to manually adjust the bed incline with a rusty crank because the nurses refused to do it. Babies crying all night long with no help from hospital staff--only to find out the baby was hungry but the new mother was not instructed on what to do or how to take care of the situation).
Especially alarming to me is this. When I watched this story break on the news, I was about 8 weeks pregnant. It's very rattling to me now because after I delivered the placenta I did hemmorhage--very nearly had a transfusion. The midwife who was there was also the physician I had my last trimester checkups with. The first time she saw my face she said, "I've been delivering babies for 30 years--in hospitals, homes and birth centers and you, my friend, have red hair and fair skin. I don't want to alarm you, but in my experience, for some reason, those women with your features often have bleeding problems." So, when I did, in fact have bleeding problems, she quickly set about saving my life because mentally she was prepared. I don't think with the modern medicine available that we should be reading stories about women bleeding to death in childbirth--especially when it's because there just isn't a doctor around to help.
And of course, no one wants or expects to have a crisis like that happen to them in childbirth but if it does, my husband and I sure as heck need to know that a competent doctor who gives a damn is there to save me.
Goodness - not a very reassuring post for those of us with no choice but to deliver in a public hospital in HK!! I only have a couple of weeks to go, and reading stuff like this does not help... (I am sure it was not your intention to try and scare people - and perhaps at 38 weeks pregnant I am a little more sensitive than usual). Luckily, I've spoken to people in real life who have given birth at QMH in recent months and had positive experiences. I think its really important that I go in there feeling confident and positive, much more likely to have a good outcome.
nicolejoy
Registered User
I gave birth at QMH and had a great outcome, Dink - I'm sure that you will too. QMH is meant to be the best for things like emergencies and difficult pregnancies/labours etc. The only thing that I could "fault" them on was that they were TOO cautious (putting my baby in special care for observation) but even though I didn't LIKE that, I know that medically, they were just playing it safe and if my baby DID have any issues, they were already prepared to deal with the situation. If you compare the statistics between Hong Kong and other countries, Hong Kong has BETTER statistics even than the US and Australia!! I looked them all up when I was pregnant - I know for SURE that Hong Kong's rate of maternal death after pregnancy is LOWER than Australia and the US, so that means that you're SAFER here, if you look at it like that!!
M
MLBW
Guest
Overall, I think the US has worse statistics as Nicole said but on a state-by-state basis, there are several states (mine included) with much better statistics than the HK public system. I'm glad that your aunt was able to have those blood transfusions and didn't die--can't be said for the three women who passed away last year that made the news. Anyway, I wouldn't risk it here based on a lot of the bad reports I've heard and for those who have good reports--I am so happy (and proud of you for being so brave!) :0)