pregnant with baby number 2 while toddler is 3 years old

B

bagel

Registered User
hello ladies,

i am interested to hear the experiences of mothers who have been pregnant with baby number 2 while their first born are active toddlers how you managed the pregnancy period. my doctor advised me to not carry my toddler but i find that un-avoidable in some circumstances.

the other day i saw a mother who was in an advanced stage of pregnancy being rough-housed by her 3-4 year old son and she seemed to be doing fine. her son was being very demanding and she kept up with him.

i'd like to hear from mothers on how they managed this delicate period. thanks!
 
not only was a pregnant with # 2 when # 1 was just over a year old (they are exactly 2 years apart). i spent 4 months in a wheelchair out of the 8 months pregnancy.

if doctor says, don't pick up your kid.... then teach your #1 to walk on their own. i physically could NOT carry #1 when pregnant with #2. we managed just fine. you start teaching #1 to be independent NOW, not later after #2 arrives. you make sure you talk about #2 a lot. be sure to get #1 a doll that he/she can use for their own baby. my son used to walk around the house "breastfeeding" his baby (he'd pull up his shirt and hold his doll to his nipple!)...i always got him to help when i was changing nappies etc. as such, he is a very independent boy and always has been.

at 3 years old, your #1 should be quite independent already. i don't see why you'd have to carry him/her at all.... exception being if they fall asleep when you are out. when you go to the playground, don't hover around. find a spot in the shade and sit down. if #1 wants more attention, take bubbles and sit down while you blow them.

by the age of 2.5 we ONLY used a pram when travelling or on a day out at disney or OP. not for anything else. i expected my kids to walk, and they did.
 
My daughter is also three and I am pregnant with the second child. I know exactly how you feel. My daughter had been used to being picked up all the time because I do not take a stroller around (too much of a pain). I still occasionally pick her up and it hasn't been too much of a problem. I think it is just precautionary advice. I have tried explaining to my daughter that I can't pick her up anymore because it might hurt the baby and she seems to understand.
 
My oldest was barely 2 when I found out I was expecting twins. They were born when she was exactly 2 1/2 years old. I had a very easy and smooth pregnancy and they were born full term and full size (7 kg together). I was living in the US at that point so no helper either.

What I did, once I found out, I taught my oldest to be independent as much as possible. I would encourage her to walk bits and pieces by herself (I wasn't going to buy a triple stroller). I needed her to play by herself. I got a step stool so she could get in the bath herself while just holding my hand (we had a jacuzzi so slightly higher), she walked the stairs, she could climb in her own car seat, she could climb in her own Stokke high chair (took the baby seat off) and I moved her into a regular twin bed at 21 months. She started school 2 full days at 2 years of age and 3 full days at 3 years of age. And yes, she watched quite a bit of TV during my last few weeks of pregnancy ... I didn't have much choice.

Luckily she was (and still is) a very easy and mellow baby and child. But it basically came down to ... we need to practice now to make sure I don't have to worry about it later. And it worked quite well, considering her age. I even had a special toy box that we got together with toys she could only play with when I was feeding the babies. She picked everything and we kept it in a special place.
 
my daughter is 3.5 and I'm 26 weeks pregnant. Basically I just find that I am TIRED. much more tired than the first time around, because all the energy I have goes to caring for her. Since I found I was pregnant we have slowly moved to less carrying, but I do still hold her and make sure she gets plenty of snuggles. Daddy carries her on his shoulders on weekends and makes sure to get in some roughhousing time every night.
 
Hi Bagel,

I have a gal turning 2 end of dec and am only 6 weeks pregnant. This second pregnancy (3rd actually as I had a miscarriage a few months ago) is pretty difficult for me as I started spotting last week and I have pretty bad backache when my this pregnancy began.. On top of that, my gal is very active and constantly wants to have someone to play with her Esp me when dad is not home fr work yet. Given my miscarriage history and also that i started spotting, doc asked me not to carry my gal that much too.. So I restrained from carrying her esp when my spotting started. In fact I seldom step out of hse due to the bed rest I needed till baby is stable. We try to teach our gal to walk by herself if we are out. Only carry her when she is tired after a long walk.. And only daddy will carry her if we r out. I still cuddles her whenever I am seated or when we are in the bed :).. And also if she need to go toilet ( she is still under potty training) we will put a chair so that she can step onto the chair and then sit on the toilet . This help to refrain me fr carrying her too.

I agree with carang, will need to start training our kid to be more independant... And I am working on it..

Hope all work out for you.
 
I guess it depends on how you feel your pregnancy is - every woman is different, regardless of whether or not there is an active toddler around. My oldest was 7 months when I fell pregnant for the second time so I couldn't make her walk around since she wasn't at that stage yet. However, with the second pregnancy, I felt a lot better (maybe just because I knew what to expect), and also had learned that for me, exercise helped me gain energy rather than sapped it up. So I carried my toddler on my hip a lot when we went out, and we'd run around the playground or playroom of our clubhouse and other safe and confined places where I didn't need to sprint out after her as much. Somehow it all worked out. :)
 
My 2nd was born when my 1st was 21 months and still very much needing to be either in a stroller or carried. I carried her all through my pregnancy and did completely fine. Now when baby was born, I still sometimes carried both of them at the same time and managed to slip a disc - but that is more because of the asymmetry (holding her on my hip) than because I wasn't "strong" enough.

My kids are now 3 (just turned 3 a month ago) and 1 and at 3, I expect my daughter to walk everywhere. I tell her I cannot carry her any more (lessons learnt from a slipped disc) and she accepts that. In the past few months, there have been a handful of times when she is in the stroller - for example, if we're at Disneyland for the entire day - but we have even done disney without a stroller.

Women used to bear tens of kids with little help and they were "strong enough". Yes it is tiring, but it's really not a health hazard - unless you are at high risk for premature labour or miscarriage... Although I do think that by age 3, most kids are physically able to be pretty independent and not NEED to be carried everywhere... (picking up here and there for a couple of minutes isn't what I'm talking about)
 
I would just start expecting your #1 to walk...my number #1 and #2 are 22 mths apart and #2 and #3 are 14mths apart....(3,1, and 4mths)....and becoming more independent...but also at the same time giving #1 some alone time that does not involve carrying as you don't want #1 to develop any negative feelings towards the baby. I carried all my babies when I was pregnant, up until 35wks but not for long stretches....kind of hard to avoid all together....but younhave to listen to your body...I stopped because by the end I could feel the weight pressing down on my belly and I was scared it would force me to deliver early....we never used the stroller when the kids were awake, only dor them to nap in if we happened to be out in town....too much trouble opening and closing them on our part- just kind of lazy I guess. You will be surprised what they can do - my 2 girls can walk from Baguio to cyberport by themselves when you ignore their requests to be carried!
 
I have had back problems for a long time--some of it was related to sports injuries when I was a teenager. Some of it is genetics as my dad and brother both have had similar problems and these problems were made worse by my first pregnancy. I learned the hard way to be careful with my spine. It's very easy to injure your spine simply by standing in the wrong way or even moving too quickly. I had a professor that literally reached down to help her grandson do something--did it too fast and at an awkward angle and eventually had to have back surgery because of it.

So, all I can say is that no matter what, be careful with your spine. My son was 2.5-years-old when I got pregnant with my daughter. He learned very quickly that mama couldn't pick him up anymore. I tried it a few times and the irritation to my back reminded me of how debilitating my condition could be if I wasn't careful. If my husband saw me try it he would totally not stand for it because he's had to haul me around when I was dealing with back injuries and take care of me--he knows how bad it can be.

There were a lot of physical things I couldn't do any more with my son. It just made me focus on other ways I could interact with him. He learned to be more gentle with me. At first I could rough-house a bit with him but by the time I was 5 or 6-months pregnant my body was telling me that that wasn't a good idea--especially since sometimes little children don't know how not to be too rough (the other day I was rough-housing with my now 4-year-old son and he kicked me in the chin on accident!)

By the time my son was 3-years-old he became really good at walking--we stopped using a stroller by the time he was 3-years-old as well. Of course, my son still had his dad to toss him around and wrestle with him and also his grandpa so the fact that I couldn't do the same didn't mean he didn't get that type of physical interaction.

Just take it from someone who has suffered greatly with a back injury (at times unable to stand upright, I had to crawl on all fours to get around my home!)--don't risk it by picking your son up. It may be no big deal but there could be that one time and you could have to pay dearly for it. Back injury is one of the most miserable things that can happen to a person.
 
Your nearly three year old should be really independent by now (ie. walking most places)? Mine was just 3 when his brother was born and it just wasn't an issue at all. Why not let him become a little independent and only pick him up or use strollers on very long walks? Cuddles are just as good as picking up and hurt you less!(-:
 
I was pregnant with my 2nd when my son was 2 years old. I carried him alot initially till the bump got bigger and i cut down alot. He would notice how i struggled to walk up the overhead bridge that we'd use on our way to school. He'd ask me to carry him at times, and i told him i've no strength to carry him, can he please hold my hand instead and help me walk on? he would accept it and walk with me. and that wasnt the end. he would ask every 10mins. and got the same answer and walked :)

he did not like the stroller, so i'd use his tricycle and push him to the playground/ shops/ library. we had no helper till i was abt 8mths into the pregnancy. my husband would take over evening and weekends, bring him out with his tricycle, play ball or get groceries.

During this time, we did alot of craft, where i could sit down and work with him. we began making lanterns to light up the home, so that dad would not feel lonely, when we went back to our home country to give birth. it was great. he believed in the cause, spent 1-2 hrs everyday, just cutting, painting, pasting. for 5-6mths!

i also went to our building's playground everyday for 1.5hrs. he would climb + play. i could sit and watch him. when he needed my interaction, we would blow bubbles and snuggle up to read stories. towards the end of my pregnancy, we were still wall painting and walking ard the parks and playgrounds (2x!) everyday.

i couldnt do things very fast, or carry him much. but we still had our fun, just slower and he came out more independent and can i use the word "empathetic"? that he can take care of mummy as much i take care of him.
 
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