Pregnancy boredom??

M

Mama moo

Registered User
Hi there,

I wonder am I the only one suffering pregnancy boredom? Are there anyone who feels the same like I do - occasional bore and can't wait for the pregnancy to be over?

I was made redundant earlier this year due to the financial market, hence I'm a non-working prego currently in my sixth month. I found out about my pregnancy a month later after I was made redundant. I stopped looking for jobs because I was told employers would prefer not to hire someone who is pregnant. I was really excited at the begining of the pregnancy, keeping myself occupied with home moving and making plannings for the baby. However as months went by, I'm starting to have the feeling of boredom. Especially with the continuous growing size of my bump, the feeling of being restraint and confine to a lot of places or things to do. I'm also looking for part-time teaching but nothing can be confirmed until the summer holidays are over.

Before the pregnancy, I used to go out several times a week with friends for casual drinks or dinner. Even at the time when I wasn't working, I could still get on with my normal life. Some of my girlfriends told me that I should be happy for not working while pregnant because I may have to cope with the stressness at work and also with the pregnancy hormones in my body. But the loneliness and emptiness I felt inside are unavoidable. I'm also taking prenatal yoga classes twice a week. I tried to explain to my husband or girlfriends about the feeling of emptiness and loneliness, but they don't seem to understand. Is there something wrong with me? Am I over thinking because of my hormones?

Appreciate any advices from anyone who went through this.
 
It`s funny how the grass is always greener. When I was pregnant I was living in SZ and had almost no friends - the casual ones I had were all busy with their own families. I was alone most days, had a part time teaching job for a while, though they canned me when I was about 4.5 months pregnant. I knew no one would hire me then so for the rest of the time I just stayed home. There were no pre-natal yoga classes in SZ, no ante natal classes, nothing. There were few baby stores. I couldn`t go to HK often as I didn`t get my Chinese residency visa still late in my pregnancy when a trip to HK was a very big deal then. I didn`t want to go anywhere in SZ - I hated the city and there was no place to go.
I was also pretty hormonal, though I didn`t feel like I was at the time - getting angry at hubby for bringing home the wrong soy sauce and then breaking down in tears, etc.
We never really prepared a nursery as we had a rented place and the baby was going to stay in our room.
However, pregnancy wasn`t a bad time for me, and I didn`t often feel lonely or empty, but it did feel a bit long at times.
I do think some of your feelings are because of hormones. but perhaps they are also because you are feeling a but useless, not working, not seeing your friends. I guess none of your friends are pregnant or already have babies? That I think also makes a difference. But I wonder, why don`t you go out with your friends for dinner like you used to? even for drinks(virgin ones for you of course) - HK is good unlike China where people are smoking everywhere - here everywhere is non-smoking.
I basically used my time to prepare as best I could for my coming baby. Clothes, equipment I bought one by one, each time I went out - it brought me small joy to buy things little by little. I also read a lot, learned about my pregnancy, the labour and upcoming newborn time. I actually had a lot of time to do whatever I wanted, but I too was bored, and didn`t end up doing much - I still don`t recall how I passed the time.
The bright side? It will pass, sooner than you think. This last trimester is where all the excitement happens - you`ll get huge, you`ll have lots of movement from your baby, you`ll feel like things are really going to happen soon. In fact, at the end, even the night before my water broke, I was saying to myself, `give me more time! I`m not ready!`. And you have heard it a lot, after the baby is born, you will look back at your boredom perhaps fondly.
One thing I would suggest, is to really let your feelings out, to your husband, friends, etc more. That`s fine if they don`t understand - it`s a totally different experience and they really cannot possibly relate ( I actually begrudged my hubbie this at times and still do). Just talking to an open ear should be therapeutic. You don`t want to keep too many feelings inside you lest they fester, and you start to resent your pregnancy or worse, your baby.
Perhaps through this website you can find other pregnant women and meet with them, even ones who had their babies already. I would be happy to meet up with you. PM me if you want.
Take care and remember you`re not alone.
 
Mama moo, I am at the exact situation as you do now..no job,restricted movements,nothing can keep me happy during my first trimester. Tried looking for part-time teaching jobs but the world is cruel to us..BUT nevertheless, don't despair! After all the home alone days of continuous nausea and desperate boredom,I told myself i had enough of this and unhappiness of not seeking understanding from your loved one,but thinking back, we always still have our home, our lovely parents. My parents are not in HK,hence i made a hasty decison to fly to the arms of my lovely family and here i am now with them,never been happier than before. It's always nice to fall back to your loved ones esp your parents since they are the only ones in the world that can shower you with unconditioned love and care. I'm glad i made this decision to be surrounded with happy people, hope you can find something/someone that can make your preg days happy too!
 
I think we you are pregnant you get a lot of stigma in Asia because everything treat you like an invalid. It sounds to me your boredom comes from following other people's expectations. When I was pregnant with my first I wore heels till I was 8 months and still went out with friends several time a week for dinner and drinks. As long as you feel well enough to go out you might as well enjoy all thsi free time! Because believe me, when the baby comes, going out is a big chore! especially of you plan to breastfeed. For myself, I actually found the first few months with baby quite lonely because you really are quite stuck at home. And you are so extremely tired and emotional... so try to find things to do and friends to chat with! Don't hide away at home :)
 
Think positive! Take it as a nice break from work. Sleep in late, go to a nice cafe for breakfast and read the papers, go for yoga, read books/magazines, prepare for the arrival of the baby, meet with friends, watch DVD, basically do anything that you would do if you are not working (and not pregnant). I am assuming that you are feeling ok physically. It's actually a luxury to NOT work .. time off to do things you like :) Learn something new? I have found that pregnancy doesn't really hinder us from doing many things (other than streneous exercises, raw food etc), but most daily things we can still do many of the things we typically would do when not pregnant ... until you get to your last month, then you get too tired to move around ... especially in this crazy hk heat!!
 
Keep planning out stuff to do, things to see, places to go!

I wanted my baby to come so quickly as I was sooo bored with the pregnancy bit, especially as my relatives kept restricting the things I loved to eat!

In the end I kept going for pregnancy massages, walks, shopping, joining LLL meetings/coffee breaks to learn more about breastfeeding, etc...
 
Dear Mama Moo

I agree with solidstars and Obiwan!! You need to plan your day with things to do!

Have you joined any of the Due date clubs on geobaby? these meeting are supportive and great way to meet other moms!

Once the baby comes, you will have no time to get bored so take this opportunity to do some of the things you have been wanting to do!
 
Hi everyone,

Thank you for the post replies. I find it very encouraging indeed. Things have slightly improved over the past 2 weeks since I posted my forum. I've taken advice from most of you who have replied here by planning things to do, ie. go for coffee in the afternoons, walk around, excercising, shop for newborn items. Indeed I found joy shopping for my little one although he's still inside my tummy kicking and rolling around. I must admit there are times I can't wait for the pregnancy to be over but at the same time after reading a lot of childbirth plan and different stages of child labour (which makes me sort of weary too) Hence when I look at the calendar that I'm due in 3 months time, I felt I'm not ready yet!

Thanks for the heads up wasabibunny. I am pretty sure my hands will be very tied up once the baby arrives and going out will seem to be a "difficult" matter for me. I think my loneliness and boredom derives from not having the support of my family in HK with me. Since I am not working and my husband is working full-time, I spent most of the time at home alone. But having found something new to do lately - selecting & buying the essentials for my unborn, I'm pretty excited with all these new found / discover items from various sources.

Wow, I'm really impressed to hear your story Shenzennifer! Being pregnant and living in Shenzhen at the same time wasn't easy. You were right, most of the time I felt I was unable to release my frustration and loneliness by venting to my friends (who have not been through the pregnancy). Indeed I felt useless at times for not working and staying at home most of the time. My husband is the closest person I have in HK. I do feel lonely at times when he's at work but I'm replacing my loneliness by going swimming and meeting my other pregnant yoga classmates for shopping on baby items.

Ladies, thank you for all the support and advices. Much appreciated. Just a quick question - has anyone have/had Group B Strep (GBS) infection during pregnancy? If yes, how did you manage to eliminate the infection before pregnancy? Thank you so much ladies.

Mama moo
 
i think i took the group b strep test at 32nd or 34th week of pregnancy . can't remeber. exact week but it is at the 3rd trimester definitely, weeks before. if confirmed having the infection, will go take antibiotics to eliminate them. my sis had the infection and she took antibiotics for a week or so.
 
Yup, I'm at my 39th week tom, and had my Strep B test about 2 weeks ago. I think if one were to test positive, you just have to let the hospital know and they can give you some medication prior to the delivery. Your doc will know what to do, don't worry :)
 
thanks for the reply reei and obiwan.

i've discovered i have the group b strep infection during my 2nd trimester. i did the swab test thrice. my doctor prescribed a week of antibiotics for me and my husband to take each time after the test came back as positive. however the infection doesn't seem to be going away which worries both my husband and myself as i approach to my last trimester soon. i'm also taking probiotics and eating natural yoghurt, hoping to reduce the infection.

i'm planning to have natural labour. my doctor laid out the possibility of contracting pneumonia or meningitis if the baby is delivered via vaginal labour but reassured us that it's only a minor problem by taking antibiotics shot before labour. if i'm doing an elective c-section, the chances of the baby getting pneumonia or meningitis would be lower. i'm therefore still considering whether to do a natural birth or c-section.

hey obiwan, sounds like you're in full-term soon and the baby will be arriving soon! congratulations! how are you feeling? excited? well prepared? trust all is well with you and the little one. take care.
 
ahh! the grass is always greener.. i'm still working (at 6 mos) but it's fam business so i guess it's more flexible than work-work...

but i do wish sometimes i could stay at home as it's definitely a LUXURY! enjoy your time now, b/c i've heard from friends that afterwards you won't have any more personal time!

also, perhaps you can find a hobby- or something to keep you busy? and i agree with the ladies above- perhaps check out the other forumns, there are due date clubs which have get togethers- there's one this weekend for mommies due in nov! :)
 
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