Potty training and pooing in undies!

S

starbucks2

Registered User
Hi

We are potty training our almost 3 year old and he is going well for wees (often tells us potty and we take him straight there) but is resistant on pooing on the potty. He has done it once but most of the time he either waits for his lunchtime nappy at his nap time, at nighttime nappy or, even worse, will poo in his undies and then tell us "I done a poo"! Any tips for getting the transition of pooing in the potty??? Have tried bribes (M&Ms and toys) but no luck so far ....

Thanks
 
It took a bit longer for our son to do n.2 in the toilets... he never liked the potty, just we just bought one of these little seats to put on the toilets. Then we asked him everyday if he wanted to poo in the toilet... he said no during 2 or 3 weeks, and one day, he just asked by himself to go on the toilets. Since that day, no accident !
 
My middle son was similar. And often wouldn't even bother to tell me he'd pooped in his undies. I'd discover it some time later. Eww
I bought a book called zoo poo (from shopinhk) and that seemed to help a bit. I'd definitely recommend it. But I also think eventually over time it all just 'clicks'. Bribery with m&ms etc only go so far.
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Ah, the "joys" of poo in the pants. Our 3-year-old is potty trained pretty much. Peeing on the toilette was a piece of cake but pooing has not been. We think that the problem lies in the fact that pooing takes more patience and control than peeing does. Sometimes we have to go poo but we need to spend some time sitting there to accomplish the task. Three-year-olds aren't known for their inclination to sit patiently and wait for anything. So, our son would sit on the toilette, give it 10 seconds and declare, "Done!" Then a few minutes later he would be playing in pooed pants. It's a timing thing. Also, a motivation thing.

So, the two things we've found effective are:

1. Making him help us with the stinky, dirty job of cleaning up his soiled undies--which he really doesn't like to do

2. Upping the ante on rewards. My husband declared one day, "I am so tired of him pooing in his pants [usually my husband is the one who will clean him up when he does] that from now on whenever he poos in the toilette, I will give him ice cream [our son loves ice cream]." These mini ice cream cones are suitable for this type of reward, I think.

Some people may have huge issues and think, "Well, then your kid is just going to eat ice cream all day!" I say, initially, "If it works, it works" and in my experience, eventually the child doesn't even ask for the reward any more because the habit is already there--they don't just start pooing in their pants again--usually they don't revert. So, give it a try and after 3-4 weeks you may not even have to give the reward anymore.

For going pee in the toilette we had started off by rewarding him with juice gummy snacks--2 for each time he went to the toilette successfully. At this point, he doesn't even ask for the snacks because he just goes to the toilette automatically.

For going poo we had been rewarding him with five gummy snacks and some coins to put in his piggy bank but it just wasn't the right type of reward for the accomplishment apparently. Since introducing the ice cream reward we haven't had one incident of poo in the pants and my son has taken the initiative to tell us when he has to go poo. He is much better able to focus and actually know when he really has to go. It has been a complete success. We just needed the right reward.
 
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We went through this with my first son - took a week to potty train for wees (at age 3 - he'd been very resistant up to then). But another 2 months to potty train for poos. He would just wait for his night-time nappy. Great control! ;-)

I think some of it was fear (rather than not being able to sit and wait for a poo). It can seem a little traumatic to have something drop out of your body and to 'lose it' - whereas in a nappy/pants, the poo leaves the body and is then (urrggghhh!) warm and comfortable against the skin. It took time, patience, multiple rewards - and even 'punishments' - throwing away his favourite undies when he pooed in them.

Eventually we got there, but there's no magic solution and every child is different. But just know you are not the only one to go through this. And this too will pass!! ;-)
 
Honkyblues said:
We went through this with my first son - took a week to potty train for wees (at age 3 - he'd been very resistant up to then). But another 2 months to potty train for poos. He would just wait for his night-time nappy. Great control! ;-)

I think some of it was fear (rather than not being able to sit and wait for a poo). It can seem a little traumatic to have something drop out of your body and to 'lose it' - whereas in a nappy/pants, the poo leaves the body and is then (urrggghhh!) warm and comfortable against the skin. It took time, patience, multiple rewards - and even 'punishments' - throwing away his favourite undies when he pooed in them.

Eventually we got there, but there's no magic solution and every child is different. But just know you are not the only one to go through this. And this too will pass!! ;-)
Click to expand...

Yes, some kids are afraid to go poo but our son was not afraid at all--he could and would do it from an early age (before he was 1-year-old because my parents-in-law used the "elimination communication" approach--i.e. "going diaperless" when he was with them)--in his case it was a total impatience thing--had no fear of pooing and even was happy when he did it but didn't want to take the time out to do it. I think everyone has to look closely at their own child and see the exact emotion they're going through. Our friends had a hard time potty training their youngest daughter because of the fear issue.
 
My eldest was the same and wasn t completely potty trained untill 3 years and 7 months old...
We tried every possible bribe(sweets, stickers,money ,lighting McQueen undies, ice cream ,Disneyland,etc..).We tried the hard way as well:cleaning his underwear etc... but the only thing that worked is when our twins were born we kept showing him their dirty nappies (I know it sounds horrible but it worked). he got so disgusted with it that he was done maybe 3 weeks after they were born...
Before that it turned into a power battle. I really think that he was doing it to show us that he had some kind of power on us. He was physically able to do it but loved the attention he got from it.
I certainly won t be rushing to train my twins... We started to train my first son at 2 years old. It was a long 19 months of poopy underwear...
 
Thanks everyone. We have moved from the potty to a seat on the toilet and now our son is protesting every time we take him to the toilet (crying and carrying on). We went away on holiday for 3 weeks and had to move to the toilet seat method as we had no potty and it worked really well. Now that we are back, it is like starting over again from scratch! I can't work out if he is not wanting to leave what he is doing (eg: playing) to go to the toilet or if it is fear. We are confident we can leave him for wees until he asks but he has pooed in undies 3 times in the last week so that has made us paranoid again to take him to the toilet every couple of hours to try and stop that.

Any other tips?? We keep saying (like a manta) "if you do a poo in the toilet you get a lollypop" and he says it but isn't doing it. Even offered a car toy but has not resulted in a poo in the toilet. Do people think that reward charts are useful? Was thinking about a poo chart (charming I know!) where he got a fruit jube or lollypop for one poo in the toilet and after 5, he gets a car toy.

Thanks
 
Our daughter is 19 months and we are expecting a second in July :) Would it be too early to start potty training?

I have no idea how to start!!!!! We have a potty chair, and she now knows to sit on it whenever she poos (with her clothes on, I tried removing her pants once and she would have none of it!). Would starting with a potty chair mean we would have to 'wean' her off later?

If someone can give me some guidance or point me to some useful sites I can read and research on, will be MOST grateful. Thank you so much.
 
My son is 23 months and I am using the Baby Whisperer Potty Training Book which recommends starting slowly and early. It is going really well so far! We were lucky as our son was telling us when he had a poo in his nappy and didn't like it and was already happy to do a pee on the potty before bedtime. We also like the Pirate Pete Potty book which we read every couple of days as a reminder.
 
My daughter was about 26 or 27 months and showed no interest whatsoever in the potty, despite being highly verbal and very intelligent. She didn't mind being in a wet/poopy nappy either, although she was aware of when she was pooping (not so much with weeing though). What we did was to just set aside 2 hours every morning to have her run around the house with no nappy on and of course for the first couple of days she peed all over the place, but after a couple of days, she started to want to use the potty (we bribed her with M&Ms). It only took her a couple of weeks until she was almost completely day time potty trained. Now even when we go out, she just wears undies - except if we won't be around a toilet (or we don't know where they are) for a couple of hours. She even wakes up dry most mornings - although I'm not in a hurry to put her in undies at night! I was amazed at how easy it was for her, even though she wasn't initiating it or showing signs of being interested!
 
We potty trained our son at around 32 months and like most, pooing was a problem. you are definitely NOT alone!

i had charts for him to put stickers on and always made a huge deal when he actually did make it to the potty, but still he was a little scared to go. we found that he would also hold it so long that he would get constipated.

what worked for us was just to watch him very carefully and when he was gasy we just brought the potty close to him and that seemed to work most of the time. I always sat in front of him too when he went and gave him words of encouragement and praise. Now he goes #2 almost always on the toilet, but we still have some accidents like in the bath and he says, "mommy, mommy poo poo!!!"
 
My son is 8 month old, and I started potty training him for 2 months ago.... Well, actually it is not really potty training. I just take him to the toilet for pooing. Since he started, he has only poo on his diaper once, when I gave him some wheat cereal that gave him diahrrea.
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Thanks Southside - my thread got a bit hijacked (!!) but appreciate your response. It is so frustrating but obviously have to persevere. Will try the sticker charts as he does love his cars so maybe 5 poos = a new car (with fruit jubes in between). We had a poo in the bath last week too ... such joy especially as he was having a bath with his little sister!!
 
Starbucks2, tell you son that if he poos in his undies you will go and tell all his friends (Especially the one he most admires) that he poos in his undies. Worked with my daughter she went "NOOOOOooooooo....... you cannot do that" "Don't tell my friends". I mean she was really upset about it, maybe it will work for your son too. Hang in there, won't last forever!!!
 
Just to add that she has been 100% potty trained since she was around 2 years old. Just that recently she started weeing little bit in her panty as she had urinary incontinence due to being constipated for 2- 3 months and of course sometimes she is plain lazy.
 
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