Planning to share bed with baby - do we still need a cradle / crib for her day naps?

M

mamamau

Registered User
We plan to share our bed with baby, and am wondering what bed-sharing parents do when it comes to mid-day napping times. Do you need a crib for that? Or does baby just nap in the adult bed?

I read from some books that a cradle might be helpful to get baby to sleep, and it takes up less space than a crib. But one can only use it for at most 4 months isn't it...? Is it still worth it to get one?

Is there anyone out there who actually waited for baby to arrive before deciding on a crib / cradle / nothing to buy, depending on baby's size and willingness to stay in the adult bed? Baby's coming in November.

Thanks!
 
You can certainly wait and see, its easy enough to find them. But I think you'll probably want something. One issue with cradles--babies often get so used to the rocking that they can't sleep without it. Another option you might consider is a playpen with a bassinet insert. You can use the bassinet for about 3 months I think, then put baby down in playpen area to sleep. And these are easy to fold up, put away too.
 
bed sharing is not encouraged from what i have read. what would be best is to have a cot by the side of the bed so that your baby can still sleep beside you in a cot. we bought a small cot for my baby and he is 6 month old now and the cot is too small for him. wished we had gotten a bigger cot. that's my experience.
 
shalom,
if it is suffocation you are worried about with bed-sharing, i know that once they are able to lift up their own heads the general advice i've read is that its ok for them to be in bed with you. a friend of a friend lost her baby at 5 days old, she was in bed with parents. you bring up a good point!
 
A Mom,

I agree with Shalom that bed-sharing is not recommended by experts. Its not merely suffocation that is an issue, but the baby can roll and get stuck between the mattress and the headboard or the footboard. A co-sleeper is an option. It has raised sides on 3 sides and one side that opens to your bed. Therefore there is no danger of suffocation and the baby is protected. Another option is the pack-n-play playard with the bassinet feature mentioned aboved. You can use the bassinet until the baby is 6 months and then use the playard as the crib if space is an issue.

Good luck.
 
Yes, agreed. That's why I suggested the play pen with bassinett option. I am considering the co-sleeper contraption myself, either that or bassinett. Thanks for reminding me about it, do you know where they are sold in Hong Kong?
 
This is my experience: My baby spent most of the nights on her first two months sleeping in the car seat even though we have a moses basket and a cot. This is because she can go to sleep easier in the pushchair (where the car seat is attached to) or in the taxi or when we rocked the car seat (which is also can be used as a rocking chair/cradle) We tried to put her in the moses basket and put the basket next to our bed. We gave up after one week because she made so much noise that we cannot sleep. We then put her moses basket into her cot in her room. I know this sounds funny but the baby cot is really big so we feel more secured if she is in the moses basket. The baby cot is meant for her to use until she is ten as it can be changed into an adult bed later. I like the cot because it is so big and sturdy that allows me to lay inside next to my baby but I hate the cot too because it is too big and has taken up so much space!

I find this quite useful: I put a mattress on the floor next to my baby's cot. This allow me to breastfeed her at night and early in the morning and at the same time having a nap. This is also a place where we play, massaging her and changing her nappy when she can roll over (with the changing mat, of course) She sometimes have her day naps on it or even sleeping on it at night. The mattress was used as a soft surface when she started to crawl and sit up. However, now that my baby has learnt how to stand up and also started to learn how to walk, I have to take the mattress away. I am now using a thinner and smaller mattress instead.

Mamamau, you don't need to rush into buying a crib or a cradle. You can put your baby on an adult bed but not sharing the bed with you for the first few weeks (but not until your baby can roll over, which is about 3 months later, I think, or can crawl out of his/her bed) and then decide which option is good for you. A cot is good because it can stop the baby from crawling out from the bed. A good carseat can also be used as a cradle.
 
Thanks, everyone! Think we'll just wait and see then - and, Wee Kean, I'm so glad someone else is also using the carseat idea that I've been pondering about!
 
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we used the playpen/ bassinet initially but decided that it wasn't very good for bb's back coz the mattress is a fold up kind and therefore isn't very comfortable (goes down in the middle) An alternative is the Aprica or Combi high chair which can be converted into a bassinet type bed initially (ie goes horizontal) and has a rocking motion if that's what you're looking for. It comes with wheels and therefore can be moved around the house.
 
Another option is a pram or stroller which allows baby to lie flat (and preferably have legs up). We never bought a bassinet and used our stroller for daytime naps for quite a while. Advantage is that baby is used to sleeping there if you want him/her to sleep while you are out, and you can also move rooms according to what is going on in your house, e.g. away from where hoovering needs doing etc. Bassinet has the latter effect but is bulky if you don't have much space for something which will only be used for a few months. Naps in the adult bed would be fine until he/she starts to roll over, which I think is about 2-4 months.
 
Bed sharing is not dangerous if simple measures are taken to protect the baby. This is the same for cots and cradles. The difference is that with a cot or cradle the manufacturer has taken care of the safety procedures and with bed sharing the parents have to.

The Baby Friendly Hospital Imitative and UNICEF in the UK have produced a leaflet, available at http://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/pdfs/sharingbedleaflet.pdf, which explains what measures you need to do to make your bed safe.

Adult beds are not designed for babies. To prevent your baby overheating, suffocating or becoming trapped:

? The mattress must be firm and flat - waterbeds, bean bags and sagging mattresses are not suitable;
? Make sure that your baby can?t fall out of bed or get stuck between the mattress and the wall;
? Your baby should not be overdressed - he should not wear any more clothes than you would wear in bed yourself;
? The covers must not overheat the baby or cover the baby?s head;
? Your baby must not be left alone, in or on the bed as even very young babies can wriggle into dangerous positions;
? Your partner should know if your baby is in the bed;
? If an older child is also sharing your bed, you or your partner should sleep between the child and the baby;
? Pets should not share a bed with your baby

Sofas are very dangerous for babies as they can become trapped down the sides or in the cushions. Never lie down or fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair.

Best wishes,
Barb
 
I agree, sleeeping in the same bed is safe as long as it is done safely.

I don't think it is realistic that you will always nap or sleep when your baby does, especailly when they are older. It would not be safe to leave the baby on an adult matress unattended, so I would get a small crib. I have a friend who always went to bed at 800 Pm, because her baby would not sleep alone.

I don't know if the infant car seat is such a good idea. It is one thing to fall asleep in the car, but to always have to sleep in that curled postion can't be good for your back.
 
hello,
well, my 9-month baby has been sleeping in our bed since her very first day and her big sister might even join us sometimes and well, what's the problem?
unless you are sleeping dead drunk next to your baby what seriously could happen?
...
my baby is still breastfed at night and I don't want to think what sleep I would get if she wasn't just next to me..
We however have her baby bed just next to ours but she's almost never there!! (we had the bed from our first child). The first months, she was still having her naps in our bed (we were always putting some pillows around her to prevent any falling down!), but now we are trying to put her to sleep in her bed during the day..I find it safer when she's alone now that she moves a lot.
so, I would second another mom, wait and see ..
good luck
benjy :)
 
Hi Mamamau:

My baby is now 6 months. I had her back in Sydney. I didn't have a proper cot or crib for her back there. So I had a borrowed baby bassinet, where she stayed most of her first month. During the day, she just slept on my bed, with pillows around her, though she hardly moved in the first month.

After my husband returned to HK, I had her in the big bed with me, mainly because it was easier for me to breastfeed her at night, it was cold - so you need to be careful that you don't cover her. The disadvantage of having her in your bed is that you need to be aware/semi-conscious throughout your sleep to make sure she is safe. Like what benjy said, unless you are dead drunk or tired, then it is not a good idea to share a bed
with your baby. Which I think you may find in the first month or so, you will be extremely tired!

Up to now, we still share a bed with our 6 month. Even though we have a cot for her next to our bed, she just won't stay in it. She prefers to stay with us. That's also because I am still breastfeeding her in the middle of the nights. I know most people would say this is not recommended!! (I am trying out the "Attachment Parenting" as suggested by Dr. Sears. ) Though sometimes she wakes us up in the middle of the night, or take up the bed, giving us sleepless nights.
I will one day hope to get her to sleep in her own cot when she is ready, that will just be in her own time.

We had a simple cradle, which I only used to settle her during the day, but she hardly wants to sit in it for too long. I had taken her to see the Osteopath, he said that it is ok for them to sleep in these cradles, but make sure it's well padded for their back. I think they would only stay in the cradle for no more than 2 months. My baby didn't like it when she was about 3 months. But it served it's purpose in the first 3 months, though, a stroller would do the same as well.

So, the cot, I think if you plan to bedshare in the early years, you might want to consider buying a biggish one, because she hardly uses the current one, I think it's already getting too small for her. They grow so fast in their first year!!
 
Hello
SMU-HK!
just wish to say hi because I was so glad to read you speaking of attachment parenting!!!!!
benjy :)
 
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