Over friendly toddler

[Gataloca]

Is there anything that my 20 month old like are other kids. When I take him to playgroups, he would always try to explore other kids. I wouldn't mind, but I am afraid that some other over protecting parents would not like their kids hold and touched (specially on the face) by other kids. In an occasion, he suddenly held a quite touchy girl on his arms, scaring her and making her cry. When I take him to the playgrounds, he would chase other kids (even older kids) whenever they run around, and would try to hold and grab them, sometime even making them fall on the ground.

I keep chasing him as well, and reminding him not to grab, not to hold, not to touch other kids face, be gentle, not to hold other kids ears, etc... so much that sometime he even get frustrated and mad at me. I don't really know what to do other than keep reminding him, as he seems to genuinely happy seeing other kids, and always chase and hold them with such a big smile on his face.

How to teach him what is socially acceptable, and what is not? I am also afraid that some not so friendly kids might not like being held and would push and hurt him as well....

 

[thanka2]

I think the only thing you can do is keep reminding him by showing him, "See, we are gentle like this...." But, really, sometimes it's good that other little children defend themselves and if he gets hurt a little (pushed away) then you can use that opportunity to remind him that, "When you touch other children that way they don't like it and they will push you...." Letting children experience the consequences of their actions can be a good way to teach them.

 

[Gataloca]

Yeah, I would like to let my kid learn the consequences of his action, but sometime it is not possible when other kids are involved. Like yesterday, my kids was playing the slider in the playground, and there was another girl on top of the slider. My kid suddenly felt the urge to hug her. I, and the girl's mom, both saw it coming, and screamed "NO" just in time to stop him. He might have knocked her down of the slider. She (or both) might have fall from the height and get severely hurt......

 

[solidstars]

you have to keep teaching him the concept of 'personal space'. at the kindy i'm assigned to there are children like this in every grade, and the teachers are constantly saying, it's nice to hug to celebrate or etc once in the while, but otherwise if the other child does not like it then you have to stop, etc.

i think if you introduce the concept early, he'll eventually get the hang of it. or say like 'ask first before you hug/kiss'...

 

[thanka2]

Yeah, I would like to let my kid learn the consequences of his action, but sometime it is not possible when other kids are involved. Like yesterday, my kids was playing the slider in the playground, and there was another girl on top of the slider. My kid suddenly felt the urge to hug her. I, and the girl's mom, both saw it coming, and screamed "NO" just in time to stop him. He might have knocked her down of the slider. She (or both) might have fall from the height and get severely hurt......

Of course you have to use your judgment and sometimes you need to step in but whenever possible (when it won't cause serious harm or injury to either child) just stand back and let him do what he's going to do and see how things go. Not every situation is the same obviously but there are definitely "teachable" moments out there that you can let him have the freedom to experience consequences. I think that sometimes we parents step in because WE feel uncomfortable ourselves and don't want to be embarrassed or let our child look "bad" in front of others--we don't want our child to "make waves" but sometimes this is the only way they can learn. And actually, sometimes what we think is a big deal or will make other children uncomfortable ends up not being the case.