Hi ladies,
We did sleep train him when he was younger, the problem I am having now is getting him to stay in bed....I put him in bed, stay a while and then leave...then he crying and screaming starts. He will then climb out (sometime fall out) of his crib...major drama and he is just so upset. I put him back in his bed over and over again...until we are both exhausted...
I feel terrible seeing him in such a state.
Hmmm...so the first time you sleep trained him, what difficulties did you run into? How did you overcome them?
Oh, and BTW, how old is your child? If he's old enough to climb out of his crib, I would suggest considering putting him into a bed that is close to the floor and then put a mat beside the bed so if he rolls out he doesn't get hurt. (we bought a cheap mattress cushion at Price Rite). In that way, you eliminate the danger of him falling out and that frees you up to properly sleep train him as a toddler (which he seems to be). Otherwise, you're sort of "held captive" by the worry that "Oh, no, he's going to hurt himself." Eliminate that problem first.
So, if that danger is eliminated, the only issue you have is him staying in his room--whether he's in his bed or not probably isn't the biggest issue. My son used to have a fit or two when he wanted to be let out of his room but we practiced PU/PD with him (sometimes they revert so even if they're toddlers and you go back to the PU/PD method it still works)--he might carry on but eventually he would settle down and fall asleep--sometimes not in his bed but on the floor next to it--that was okay with us.
Be consistent. The concept of PU/PD is this. You pick the child up enough to calm them down and comfort them. You do not make eye contact with them or speak to them except in short commands. You just allow them to know that your presence is there and they are safe. When the child is calm, you put them down in their bed, give them their lovey toy say something like, "Goodnight", stand up and walk out of the room. By that point, the child will likely be screaming and throwing a fit. You set a time frame--usually starting off on 3-5 minutes waiting. Then you go back in, comfort them again--it may take longer on some times until they are basically not crying. You again, place them in their bed, give them their toy and say, "Love you, goodnight" and walk out. You wait another 5 minutes--and you keep doing this and gradually increase your time. If nothing else, the child will wear out their resistance. There are more tips in the book if you take a look. You've gotta have guts to do this and sometimes it does take a long time to accomplish--even if the child is getting over jet lag--every child is different so you have to mentally set yourself for the long-haul and hope that it's shorter than you think.
But, the beauty is that if you plow through you'll probably reset his schedule in less than 10 days (maybe even 2 or 3) rather than draw it out by continually caving to his demands. It's a balance--you are not letting him "cry it out" but you just tell yourself, "I will be there for him in 5 minutes--he's not going to die in 5 minutes" if you feel that it's hard. Then you go in, offer your physical reassurance and exit. But, let me tell you, once you do this and he starts to sleep his schedule will be SOLID and if you ever have other speed bumps again you''ll have the experience and confidence to deal with them in the same way--and it will take like 1 day to deal with them. It really does work but if you have the concept that "Oh, poor child, has to go to sleep and doesn't want to so he cries" you'll never be able to accomplish it. The attitude is, "Lucky kid gets to have a good night's sleep so he can be healthy and we can be healthy (especially mentally) and this is the best for his mind and body and also good for him to learn the skill of putting himself to sleep. I want to help and encourage him--so even though it might look like 'torture' and he might think it's 'torture' in the end we will all be a happier family for it."
