new helper- in a dilemma

S

sandy0741

Registered User
Just seeking advice from everyone, I am in need of a helper and have found 1 to look after my son, but this helper(Indonesian) is available only in october, I have paid for it at the agency yesterday , but later in the evening,i received another call about another maid in H.K , I interviewed her and like her for the reason that she can cook well, especially Indian food which the first one that I signed the contract cannot cook, and I have to spend time training her for this (but I am also not good at it too),But now I am thinking whether to hire this Indian helper or back to the Indonesian one.
1. First I have paid the agency fee for the other helper already and the fee is non-refundable.
2. This second helper available in HK has worked for her previous employer for 1 yr and 8 months and her contract is terminated. She has to leave next week.
3. The reason for the termination according to her is that her employer's previous helper is coming back, but when I ask for reference , she told me her boss told her that she is free to find any job anywhere but he doesn't want any calls from her or her new employer (which I find strange!) Later, when I call upon her again and ask if she will give me the reference letter or phone, she said her boss has left for England - for this reason, I am a bit suspicious about her and don't know I need to believe in what she says and what caused her termination.

Can anyone give any advice to me?
 
if you are not happy with your first choice, then cancel the contract. you can still use the same agency to find a different helper.

for the second one, i wouldn't hire her if she paid me.
 
yes, you are right, but for the first one,she hasn't arrived yet, so need to wait until October, but I am still not sure for the second one, she is very polite and nice, so don't really know why she is not willing to tell me about her previous employers.
 
You've met this person already. What does your heart and head tell you? Those who have not met her will not have that extra perspective.

She may not be able to get a reference for many reasons. I would ask her for honesty and I would tell her that I dont believe her excuse. Then I would decide based on her response.
 
you don't need to wait until october to cancel the contract. you can just tell the agency you've changed your mind.
 
i would be careful about hiring a helper without a reference, unless she is recommended by a friend etc. we did that and the helper, who was actually great (on the surface) stole from us and had these weird habits (waking up at 4am to "move" things") that our existing helper told us about. of course we terminated her before her probation was up as she was creating bad morale at the home and the other helper was unable to sleep / talk with her (as we wanted them to work as a team) and it was at that time our suspicions were all confirmed (stealing cause we lost clothes, jewellery) the reason for no reference was that her former employer did not want to be disturbed and then was very busy on business trips. the scary part is she worked part time for my sis and we all bought into her game - that she was a great cleaner / cook / honest. etc. just be careful.
 
NEVER EVER hire a helper who has been terminated without speaking to their employer regardless of what your heart and mind tells you. We've gone through our fair share and now insist on speaking to at least the last two employers if they have been here that long.

1 year and 8 months into the contract and the helper was terminated... 4 months short of ending the contract. A little bit suss. Warning bells go off in my head.
 
TheQuasimother said:
NEVER EVER hire a helper who has been terminated without speaking to their employer regardless of what your heart and mind tells you.
Click to expand...

Why? Why would you not give her the benefit of the doubt and listen to her story first and then decide.
There are thousands of abused maids with contracts terminated by horrible employers. With your reasoning, you would just send them back without even giving them a chance to tell their side of the situation.

1 year and 8 months into the contract and the helper was terminated... 4 months short of ending the contract. A little bit suss. Warning bells go off in my head.
Click to expand...

Yup, me too.
My warning bells tell me that either:
a) she was a bad helper and got caught doing something bad
or
b) she had a horrible employer and she couldnt take it anymore

By talking to her, you will find out more and perhaps correct a wrong.
With a "NEVER EVER" attitude, you would be making baseless assumptions.
 
"you don't need to wait until october to cancel the contract. you can just tell the agency you've changed your mind."

Carang , I did call the agency yesterday that I've changed my mind and am looking for another helper but they said all the documents have been submitted and you can cancel the contract but the money will not be returned to you. So what I can do is to cancel the contract.

For the second helper, I did ask her what makes the contract to be terminated and the reason she gives me is that the employer's previous helper is coming back and they don't need her anymore. If she has a horrible employer, she could have told me, but she didn't say anything bad about them, the only thing she says is they live on the mid-levels and they are people from the highest status and they don't want to be bothered.
So if that is the case, then I think I should stick with the first helper to see how she works in our home when she comes in October.
 
howardcoombs said:
Why? Why would you not give her the benefit of the doubt and listen to her story first and then decide.
There are thousands of abused maids with contracts terminated by horrible employers. With your reasoning, you would just send them back without even giving them a chance to tell their side of the situation.



Yup, me too.
My warning bells tell me that either:
a) she was a bad helper and got caught doing something bad
or
b) she had a horrible employer and she couldnt take it anymore

By talking to her, you will find out more and perhaps correct a wrong.
With a "NEVER EVER" attitude, you would be making baseless assumptions.
Click to expand...

Been there and done that just as you have written and been burnt terribly more than once - Tried to steal husband, stole diamond engagement ring, stole money from guests ... all different helpers with sob stories and made up reference letters. I've seen helpers in Wan Chai write up fake reference letters for prospective employers and we've had people pretend to be references. So, pardon the need to be cautious and caution another mother. You obviously have not. Let's see you change your tune when it does. Unless, the helper is from a church/not for profit agency that protects them, I have a tendency now to be super duper cautious.

But yes, go with what Howardcoombs says, always give the benefit of doubt, by all means.

I'm just writing from my family's personal experience. My husband started that way and will now NEVER hire without a reference. I guess if you've never experienced the other side of the fence, you can afford to paint a rosy picture. If you have one parent staying at home, you can afford to. But in our household, the kids spend at least 3 hours everyday on their own, I personally wouldn't. It's only just bloody sensible to ALWAYS conduct a reference check on someone you are going to allow to live in your household.
 
Hmm... we too took our helper on based on her so-called ability to cook, ability to care for children etc. She had great written references but as they had all left for their home countries, we only managed to get a verbal reference from her sister's employer who she had worked part time for on occasion. BIG MISTAKE. She can not cook to save her life, has given out our number to her friends who call at all hours of the day often disturbing my girls during their naps; has run up debt with finance companies who call threatening me; is rude to my eldest child and blatantly favours the youngest which naturally hurts my eldest's feelings; and is incredibly rude and abrupt to my husband and I. We tried and tried to fix it all but today we're calling it a day and letting her go. It's been unbelievably stressful for all of us, including my daughters. So, I agree with being super duper cautious. It doesn't mean that there aren't genuine cases out there, of course, but equally I know for a fact that my helper is already bad mouthing me in my own home to other helpers who come in with children for playdates. Anyone who employs her believing the stuff that we believed is in for a horrible ride, unfortunately.
 
As you've stated, reference letters can be faked. Guess what, so can previous employer references and phone calls. If someone is bad and is out to cheat you, they will.

You have several choices then:
1) only hire ones recommended by trusted friends/relatives (very rare)
2) spend a lot of time and money doing extensive background checks

I prefer to be the trusting one. I trust my senses, my judgement and my eyes and ears. In 17 years here, its worked pretty well for us.

As an aside : The OP has 2 choices.
(1) taken an unknown/unseen from PPines
or
(2) take a person who is here and can be interviewed.

Which would you pick? I prefer to go with a candidate that I can interview.
 
Putput, sorry to hear of your experience, we have had similar experiences, it's so hard to rely on intuition. You could try having your next helper checked out before you hire her, it may help. There's a helper screening service called SureScreen. They're in wanchai. Tel 3621 0977. It costs around HK$4k. Good luck to you!
 
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